Technicolor
by UntouchableHybrids
Summary: Girl has crush on best friend. Best friend has crush on the popular girl. Girl's heart breaks. It's classic high school drama. How far will Bella go to get the attention of Edward, when he has his eyes on someone else?
1. Back to School

**Prologue:**

_When the rain falls and the sky's dark,  
I run away into my secret heart.  
In my dreams you'll always be here,  
To guide me to safety when danger is near.  
But the wonderful rainbows are gone from my world,  
For you've asked someone else to be your girl.  
I know we're best friends but I wish you could see  
That you mean the world to me.  
And when she leaves you because she desires another,  
My life will be filled with Technicolor.  
_  
By: Taylor (the "Hybrids" part of "UntouchableHybrids") (A.K.A.: xEdwardsBellax4ever—I reccommend reading her fics!!)

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Chapter 1:

Back to School

"I miss you, Mom," I said, finishing off the last of my breakfast—cereal as usual.

Renee laughed from the other line. "Oh, Bella…I miss you too, sweetie. But don't forget that Phil and I are coming up to stay with my mother for Christmas. You can visit us whenever you want then." She sounded cheerful.

But she didn't understand that for me…Christmas couldn't come fast enough.

"Yeah," I mumbled, leaning back in my seat to look up at the clock. Edward would be here to pick me up soon. "So…how's life in Jacksonville?" I asked, getting up and carrying my bowl to the sink.

Renee and Charlie had been separated since I was about five. It was Renee who brought on the divorce. She'd said she had enough and she couldn't take living in Forks. At the time, I just thought she meant that she didn't want to live in Forks, but I know better now.

What Renee really meant was that she'd had enough _of their marriage_ and she couldn't take living in Forks _with Charlie_.

That summer, Renee packed her things and left before we could celebrate my fifth birthday as a family. Two years after she left us in Forks, she met a guy named Phil in Arizona—who was probably a little younger than I would have liked—and by year three, Mom had Grandma—Renee's mom—fly with me down to Phoenix for their wedding.

Now, I live in Forks with Charlie, I go to school with my best friends, and I have some time to visit Renee and Phil.

"…and Phil's doing so well! Oh, Bella, it's just so _nice_!" Renee gushed, pulling me out of my reverie.

I flushed at the lack of attention I gave her. "That's great, Mom. I'm happy for you," I said just as Edward pulled into the driveway and honked his horn.

Renee sighed. "All right, I guess I'll let you go. Have fun at school!" she said.

"Bye Mom," I replied before ending the call.

Grabbing my bag, I pulled on my sneakers and threw my coat on before running out the door into the light drizzle of rain and to my best friend's car. The car was warm and it felt good against my damp skin. I slid my hood down before turning to face him.

He was smiling hugely—as he always did in my presence—as he stared at me. Edward wasn't just a normal best friend. He was _the_ best friend. You know, the one you'll stay in touch with and go to their funeral when you die, even if you live on opposite sides of the earth? Yeah, he was one of those. We were close, closer than blood could ever bring us. He was practically my entire life.

But, see, in addition to being _the_ best friend, Edward was absolutely, undeniably gorgeous. I'm talking brooding emerald eyes, auburn-bronze hair that always appeared messy but totally attractive, and a musculature that made the way he moved sexy in every way. He was drool-worthy. I had to admit, being his best friend had some disadvantages, like the fact I couldn't run a hand over the contours of his chest and abs. I'd seen him shirtless before…I almost fainted.

"Good morning!" he greeted me brightly, leaning over to kiss my cheek. This was usual for our relationship, but it still made me blush.

"Hello," I replied.

"Are you excited to be going back to school? We're juniors!" Edward had been looking forward for school to start since the day summer vacation began. I wasn't exactly sure what he loved about it, but I knew with certainty, it wasn't the education program, even if he was a straight A student.

Edward was popular. Forget popular, Edward was famous. It all started in freshman year when he'd made Varsity baseball…and took the team to state. To the students and faculty at Forks High, Edward Anthony Cullen was a gift from the gods.

"Um, not really," I sighed, looking out the window and thinking of Renee.

He put the Volvo in reverse (he was raised in a rich family), and pulled out into the street to drive to school.

"Aw, cheer up, Bella," he pleaded. "Only two more years."

I snorted. "Then four of college."

He grinned as he took a right. "You'll survive."

"Like I haven't heard that one before."

He finally seemed to pick up on my depressed mood. "What's wrong, Bella?"

His velvet voice was ultra irresistible when it was saturated of concern for me. It always made me blurt out the truth. His beautiful eyes helped with that too.

I sighed. "Christmas is such a long ways away."

I saw his eyes dart to my face as he took another turn. "Renee again?"

I nodded. Edward knew how much I loved my mom. I thought about her often, but I tried to hide from Edward—not to mention Charlie—almost everything. There are only so many things a best friend and a single dad can do in place of a stable mother.

He patted my leg and my heart jumped a little. "It'll be here before you know it."

Usually, I wouldn't agree verbally, but this time I kept my protest to myself. Just because I wasn't having a good day didn't mean Edward couldn't either.

"You're right," I murmured for his sake.

He grinned the infamous crooked smile and I turned to look out the window again so I could hide the fact that my breath had caught. I wondered if he knew how beautiful he was…

"So," I said abruptly, turning my thoughts onto something new. "You wouldn't happen to have any plans Saturday, would you?" I asked hopefully.

Now, if the situation was different and Edward _wasn't_ my best friend, I would've never been able to say something like that without stuttering…and blushing profusely.

He chuckled, taking yet another turn. "I'm going to take a wild guess here and say _Alice_," he said.

"And your lucky guess would be correct," I muttered sourly.

Mary Alice Brandon—or as she preferred, Alice—was my girl best friend. When I wasn't with Edward, I was with her…or Jake.

"Actually, I was just going to hang out with Jake. He got back last night," Edward said.

"Yeah, I know," I said with a heavy sigh.

Jacob Black was another friend of mine…and Edward's. His dad, Billy, had known Charlie since college. They've been friends ever since. The two of them used to try and stick me and Billy's twin daughters—Rachel and Rebecca—together when they took us all fishing in the summer. But I spent a lot of my time with Jake, and the two of us used to make mud pies together.

This summer, Jake and Billy had gone down to Hawaii to visit Rebecca—who married a Samoan surfer before moving to the island last year.

Last night, I got a call at three in the morning from a very groggy and jet-lagged Jake telling me he got home okay.

"He called you too?" Edward asked a twinge of amusement in his voice.

"At three in the morning," I said with a sarcastic smile, rolling my eyes.

Edward smirked and I swear my heart faltered and my face flushed thirteen shades of red. "You can always sleep in Government or Spanish," he suggested.

"Yeah," I agreed absentmindedly, staring out the window again. "I don't know…" I sighed. "It's all very overwhelming. Next year, we're seniors, and then college…I don't even know where I want to go to school…or what I want to get a degree in," I blurted out.

Ever since the end of last year, the thought of college had made me hysterical. Edward of course, had his future planned out. He was going to be a doctor. He was going to go to Dartmouth—in New _freaking_ Hampshire.

"Bella, Bella, relax," Edward soothed reaching over and grabbing my hand. I could feel the goosebumps rise up on my flesh. My cheeks flushed at the electric shock that ran up my arm and I wondered if Edward had felt it too. "You've got all this year to think about your future."

"But you already know where you're going!" I argued. "And Jake knows what he's doing, Alice knows what she's doing, so does Rosalie and Jasper—even _Emmett_, Edward! _Emmett_!" I exclaimed.

My future was a very big deal to me. Grandma—Renee's mom—never went to college…neither did Charlie's parents now that I think about it. _Renee_ didn't go to college…

The point was, everyone expected me to go to college…and it was _a lot_ of pressure on me.

I hadn't realized we'd reached the school until Edward turned in his seat, grabbed my face in his hands, and made me look at him.

"Bella," he said, his smoldering eyes meeting my plain, boring, muddy brown ones, "you'll figure it out. You've got enough time."

I could only nod. I'd never been able to argue back when I looked in his eyes. All my worries seemed to just…disappear. Evaporate. As if they never existed.

He smirked that usual crooked smile that made my knees weak before leaning in to kiss my cheek and ruffle my hair. "That's my girl," he approved while I blushed and tried to fix my hair.

_His girl_. The words were enough to make a huge grin break across my face…even if he only meant it in a purely platonic way.

I tried to distract myself so that Edward's words wouldn't brand themselves onto my heart.

"Is Jake coming to school today?" I asked him abruptly.

He shrugged. "He only called to say he was in. As soon as he mumbled, "I'm home", he hung up." Edward suddenly laughed. "The poor kid can't miss the first day of school!"

I smiled at the sound of my best friend's laugh and opened the Volvo door. I stepped out into the rain and swore loudly when I forgot to put my hood up. As my hands reached up to do the task, I felt someone else already pulling the hood on.

"Now, Bella, that's no way for a lady to talk. You never learn do you?"

I turned at the sound of Alice's voice. She was smirking from underneath an umbrella that could shield the entire Volvo if she chose to. It was comical to see something so big being held by someone so small. I smiled at her.

"Thanks," I said.

By now, Edward was waiting for me at the rear end of his car. Alice bounced forward and poked Edward in his side.

"Morning!" she trilled as she jumped out of reach when he tried to poke her back, looking slightly annoyed.

If there was one thing Alice enjoyed doing, it was torturing Edward.

"Alice," Edward nodded. I could see how she got a kick out of messing with him, when he made it so easy in the first place. When she provoked him, he snapped back instead of just ignoring it. It was actually very funny to watch.

Alice smiled again, her easily pleased fairy like features arranging on her face so that she looked completely innocent. Her jet black hair was cropped so short that it barely reached her tiny shoulders. She was about five inches shorter than my five-foot-four.

"If you two are done harassing each other, can we get out of the rain now?" I asked impatiently. Edward grinned while Alice giggled.

"Sure, Bella," she replied.

I was reminded instantly of my future dilemma when we walked into the school and posters of colleges were splayed across the walls, their advertisements coming in an assortment of colors. Even when I ignored the wording, the sight of the urgency and eye-blinding colors were enough to make my stomach twist uneasily. My face must have given away some of my despair because Edward's eyes flickered to it more often than usual.

Alice and Edward's lockers were near one another (Cullen and Brandon) while mine (Swan) was nearly on the other side of the school. The only people I actually recognized near my locker were Jessica Stanley, Jasper Whitlock, and Angela Webber.

Jasper was the only one there this morning.

"Good morning, Bella," he greeted me quietly. Jasper was a senior and my partner in Spanish. Alice had the biggest crush on him, but she'd kill me if I told him so.

"Hey Jasper. Excited to get your last year of high schooling in?" I asked, sticking my books and folders into my locker, hanging my coat up on the hook.

He shrugged. "I guess."

I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. I could see why Alice liked him so much. He was really nice and shy. He had dark blonde hair and bluish slivery eyes that always seemed charismatic to me. He was nearly a foot taller than me, but was rather lanky. Still, he had a pretty face.

"Are Emmett and Rosalie here yet?" I asked him.

He rolled his eyes. "Since when has either one of them ever been here before the five minute bell?"

I snickered. "Right."

Emmett McCarty and Rosalie Hale were both seniors this starting year. They'd been together since the seventh grade. Rosalie was beautiful. Golden blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect lips, hourglass body…you name it and she pretty much had it.

As nice as Emmett was, he still scared me. He was easy going and liked to make a joke out of everything…but he was taller than Jasper and twice as big. Even with his big brown eyes and dark curly hair he scared me. I think it was the large grin he bared everywhere he went.

The only reason I knew them was because Emmett was on Edward's baseball team…as was Jasper. After Edward took them to State, the three became fast friends, eventually throwing Rose, Alice, Jake, and me into the mixture.

"Hey, Bella? By any chance, would Alice happen to be here now?" Jasper asked, closing his locker and turning to face me with a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

Trying not to laugh, I faced my locker and gave him a moment to compose himself before looking over and nodding at him. Ever since I confronted Jasper in junior high, I'd known of his crush for Alice.

I just promised not to tell…

"Thanks Bella," Jasper said, ruffling my hair before speeding down the hall towards the lockers where Alice and Edward undoubtedly were.

I rolled my eyes before running my hands through my hair to straighten it out. With that, I began organizing all my notebooks in my locker (I had a habit of doodling and writing poems and short stories instead of taking notes).

"Enough notebooks, Bella?" the familiar, deep, husky voice said from behind me.

I whirled around and grinned at one of my oldest friends. "Jake!" I cried, throwing my arms around his waist.

Jacob chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me. "I missed you too, Bells," he said, obviously amused by my reaction.

I pulled away to look at him. He was gone for most of the summer. I was allowed to compare the "then Jake" to the "now Jake." And let me be the first to say that there was a _huge_ difference between the two.

He had to have been at least a foot taller than me now—maybe even taller than Edward…by a couple of inches at least. His russet skin looked darker and his once long black hair was cut extremely short. He seemed to have built a hell of a lot more muscle too.

"You look…different," I said, closing my locker door.

"In a good or bad way?" he asked cautiously as we started walking down the hall.

"Good way," I replied with a grin. "Always good." I said. "Hawaii did you good, Jake."

Jake chuckled, stretching his arms forward before resting them behind his head. I just now noticed the dark circles under his eyes. "The trip was awesome. The plane ride? Not so great," he said.

I smirked before jabbing him in the side with my elbow. "You can always fall asleep in class," I told him.

"Silly Bella," Jake said, ruffling my hair, making me scowl, "that's what _you _do." He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and worked on straightening my hair—_again_. "I don't sleep," I protested pointedly, "I _daydream_. Big difference."

Jake rolled his eyes.

"Hey, hey! Jacob, my man!" Emmett boomed, swinging a brawny arm around Jacob. "Back from Hawaii at last!"

"But not completely awake yet," Jake said with a yawn, pushing Emmet off of him.

Emmett chuckled. Unfortunately, that left him to notice me. "Hey, hey, Bella!" he said, picking me up and squeezing me—nearly breaking me in half. "How's my favorite little sister?"

Ever since we became friends, Emmet's thought of me and Alice as his little sisters.

"What am I?" Alice asked, annoyed, as her, Jasper and Edward approached Emmett, Jacob, Rosalie, and me.

I ignored her. "Emmett, I just saw you last Saturday," I choked out.

"It's been a long week," Emmett said, dropping me on my feet.

I rolled my eyes before turning to hug Rose. "Have fun in Florida?" I asked her.

She grinned. "It was nice. Lots of sun." She nodded. "How was your summer?"

"We had _seven_ sunny days," I informed her with another roll of my eyes.

"And Bella and I went shopping!" Alice chirped.

"Eighteen times. A total of 76 hours," I groaned. "She wants to take me shopping _again_ this weekend."

Alice glared at me. I stuck my tongue out childishly.

Emmett chuckled and ruffled my hair.

"What is it with you people and messing up my hair?!" I burst, slapping my hands over my head protectively, glaring at Jake, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward. They just laughed while Rosalie and Alice fussed over my hair.

"Ugh," I whined.

Edward's eyes twinkled as he pushed Alice out of the way and slung and arm over my shoulder. My heart pounded my chest painfully as he pulled me into that one armed hug and kissed my temple.

"Calm down, Bella," he said.

Despite the butterflies in my stomach, I pulled away from him and scowled. He just laughed.

Alice took my hand. "Let's go find seats for the opening assembly. I don't want to be stuck at the top this year."

Jasper nodded eagerly. He was up for anything Alice suggested. I wished they knew how each felt about the other. It would be so much simpler.

"I agree," he said.

Jake took my other hand, stifling another yawn. "Well then, come on."

I protested as Jake and Alice dragged me to the gym, Emmett, Rose, Edward, and Jasper following closely behind. Jake just rolled his eyes as my weak defiance.

"I'm not sure why you always need to make a scene, Bell, but it's getting ridiculous."

I glared at him. "If you were 5'4 and weight 110 pounds that allowed to you be dragged around, you'd be annoyed too." Of course, whenever I made a scene, Edward's eyes were glued to me. I wouldn't admit this to just anyone, but it was his fault I was so whiny…because I wanted him to notice me.

Emmett placed his hands on my shoulder blades and pushed me along. "I can't believe you two have so much trouble with tiny little Bella."

Alice stuck out her tongue. "We can't all be champion wrestlers," she snapped.

Did I mention that Emmett was the school's best wrestler on the off season of baseball? He was what Edward was to the baseball team, only to the wrestling team.

I tugged my hands free and stomped ahead of my friends. "I'm completely capable of walking myself to the assembly," I announced.

Edward smirked mischievously and I knew then that if we weren't at school, he'd have slung me over his shoulder. Publically, I hated it. But secretly, I worshipped it. It was as intimate as Edward ever got with me. I practically prayed for him to lift me over his shoulder every time he showed signs of doing so.

Rosalie was suddenly next to me. She smiled but didn't say anything. I returned the smile and we all walked silently to the gym.

We ended up getting seats about halfway up the bleachers. Edward and Jake sat on either side of me with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie behind us. Jacob and Edward were my guys.

We were all talking and joking, a sense of rightness settling over our friendships after being divided from each other most of the summer. I was basking in the feeling Edward's knee against mine created when _she_ walked in.

She was tall, slender, and beautiful. Her strawberry blonde hair was about half the length of my own waist length brown hair and shone healthily under the harsh gym lighting. Her blue eyes were wide with nervousness as she clutched a notebook to her chest. Clearly, she was one of the new students that would be humiliated with an introduction to the entire student body. I smiled sympathetically just watching her cling to her notebook for dear life as she tried to melt into the wall. To be invisible.

I elbowed Edward in his side and pointed to the girl, unknowingly making the biggest mistake of my life.

"Edward, look at that poor girl," I said as people filed in past her to find their seats on the bleachers. I saw Edward scanning the crowd for an unfamiliar face. When his eyes landed on her, my stomach tightened uncomfortably. His emerald eyes became wide and acquired a faraway look as he gazed at her. The tightening in my stomach became worse as I waved a hand in his face to get his attention.

"Edward? Hey, Edward?" I started to sound panicked and Jake jerked out of his conversation with Emmett. The others followed his lead quickly.

"Bells? What's wrong?"

I shrugged in an attempt to appear nonchalant. "He's unresponsive." I prayed that no one could hear the hysteria bubbling up in my voice. Why was he looking at her like that? Like she was the only person in the room? I started to feel nauseated.

Jake reached across me and shook Edward's shoulder. "Hey, Edward. Man, are you okay?"

Edward snapped out of whatever reverie he was stuck in. "I'm sorry, what?"

"What was that all about?"

He smiled warmly. "Have you seen that new girl?"

Jake looked to where Edward pointed. His reaction to her was just like Edward's, only his reaction didn't make me suddenly afraid.

"Whoa," he said.

Edward nodded. "I think I'll introduce myself at lunch. She looks lost."

I stared at him, hoping my face wouldn't betray my growing horror. My stomach clenched again in fear. Why did that soft look on his face make me feel like I was about to lose him?

_Be cool, Bella,_ I thought, turning to stare straight ahead. _He just wants to meet her, _I told myself reassuringly.

I looked over at him from the corner of my eye. He was still looking at her. The knot in my stomach tightened and I looked over at the "Poor Girl". She was already talking to Mike Newton.

Anger washed through me and I found myself wanting nothing more than for the new girl to become invisible like she wanted in the first place. I wanted to leave the gym, hide in the bathrooms, shut myself in a locker…something! I didn't care where I went or what I did, so long as I was gone and out of here.

Principal Greene took his spot at the podium in the center of the gymnasium floor and cleared his throat.

"Settle down, settle down," he said into the mic.

Within seconds, everyone in the gym was quiet, looking between Mr. Greene and the new girl—who once more was looking nervous and trying to be invisible...clutching her notebook and biting her lip…

And Edward was _still_ looking at her.

"As usual, the dress code remains. Skirts and shorts must remain at fingertip length. Shirts must cover stomachs and inappropriate areas. Clothing may not advertise alcohol, sex, violence…"

I tuned him out and started tugging at a loose thread on my jeans. Edward looked over at me and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him frown.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he asked as the sound of rain dropped on the ceiling of the school.

I looked up at him and feigned confusion. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"You're making the hole on your jeans bigger. Something's bothering you," he said matter-of-factly.

I rolled my eyes, mentally cursing his ability to know me better than _anyone_. "I'm fine," I shrugged. "See?" I smiled to try and show him there was nothing on my mind.

He gave me a look that said he wasn't buying it.

I sighed and looked away. _Tell him something_, I thought. "I'm just thinking about Renee," I said with a shrug.

Edward opened his mouth to say something but at that moment Principal Greene brought out the new girl—Tanya Denali, as he pronounced it—and Edward looked towards her.

"Miss Denali is coming to us from Alaska with her sisters Kate and Irina." Mr. Greene said as two other girls made their way towards the middle of the gym. "Tanya will be a junior along with Kate. Irina will be a senior. I want all of you to do your best to make them feel comfortable here at Forks High." Principal Greene turned to them. "We're very glad to have you three ladies with us this year. I hope you come to like it here in Forks." Following his lead, the entire gym clapped enthusiastically for the three embarrassed sisters as they stared at the floor.

I didn't feel sorry for them. Well, I might have, if my best friend wasn't ogling at the one strawberry blonde—Tanya—like an idiot. He didn't even _know _her. So why was he giving her _that_ look? It practically broke my heart in two right then and there.

I fingered the string on my jeans, praying to God I was making a mountain out of a molehill. Even if Edward was interested, it didn't mean she would be. I mean, what if he wasn't her type?

I sighed and saw Edward's eyes flicker to my face again. I smiled unconvincingly at him before turning towards Jake who was making fun of Mr. Greene with Emmett's help in too-loud whispers.

Edward was _everyone's_ type. The jocks liked him, the cheerleaders liked him, the emos, the punks, the skaters, the nerds…he was funny, charming, smart, sensitive, strong, brooding, _and_ beautiful. It would take a damn near lifeless person to _not_ like him.

"…and so, let's all return to our classes for the year and make it one to remember! Have a good first day of school, everyone!" Mr. Greene finished his back-to-school speech, looking rather proud of himself.

"The last time those glasses were in style was in the early 1970s," Jacob snickered as everyone rose to leave. "Alice should give him one of her extreme makeovers."

Emmett chuckled. "And that tie? It's horrendous!"

Alice seemed to agree with every insult they dished out because she just stared with open-mouthed horror at our principal. I went to follow Rosalie and Jake down the bleachers, but Edward tugged my hand back.

"Something more than just Renee is bothering you," he stated with concern. "Tell me what is really wrong, Bella." His eyes connected with mine and the heat of my anger at Tanya Denali evaporated instantly as my heart thumped a quicker and quicker pace. He cared about what was bothering me. It was silly of me to think he would forget me for her. Edward would never, _ever_ do that.

Just because I told myself that didn't mean I was going to tell the entire truth.

"Er…college," I muttered, hoping he'd take my crap this time.

He sighed. "You are going to turn prematurely gray if you keep doing this to yourself."

I grinned a little. "I know. Let's go to class."

We walked—well, I stumbled; he gracefully leapt—down the bleachers and onto the gym floor. We were laughing at some dumb inside joke when I heard _her_ speak for the first time.

"Hello?" she said shyly, stepping towards us. Edward froze for a split second before we both looked at her, both surprised. He felt nervous. I wondered if I felt angry because I couldn't quite place the emotion. "Um, I'm Tanya. I was hoping you could show me where my first class is…?"

* * *

**Nicole:** _There you have it, folks! That's the first ever chapter of "Technicolor". It's the very first fanfic Taylor and I are writing together. What did you think? Was it review worthy? If so, leave us a review and tell Taylor and I what you think, because we love feedback. And I promise you, we won't bite!! Well, unless we're bitten first. lol! You know we love you guys!! _

**Taylor: **_Ah, yes. Finally. We've been working on this one for a while now...about a month I think? lol. So, I hope that everyone who reads it will tell us how much they liked it...unless, of course, you didn't like it...and in that case, sorry we disappointed you. Anyways, I LOVE what me and Nicole have going here and I think that it's going to be ahhhhhhmazing. We'll love you forever and always if you leave a review! haha. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Coward

Even her voice sounded beautiful.

God, was there _anything_ wrong with this girl?

"Of course," Edward said in a way that sounded a bit too friendly…or, maybe I'm just paranoid? "What's your first class?" he asked.

"Erm…" she fumbled with her schedule, her cheeks tinged a bright pink. Great. Now _she_ was nervous around _him_. This couldn't be good…

I looked between the two of them and I swear I could feel my heart breaking in my chest. I tried to keep any trace of pain and horror off my face but I wasn't actually sure if I was doing a good job of that. I was absolutely _horrified_.

Just seeing Edward staring at her, completely oblivious to me standing beside him after all our years as best friends made me want to cry.

"English," her nice soprano voice said, pulling me out of my thoughts abruptly, "with Mr. Mason."

Edward smiled brightly. Too brightly. "That's where Bella and I are—Bella? Bella, where are you going?"

"Bathroom," I murmured thickly, pushing through the people in the halls and making my way into the girls' bathroom.

I cringed at the smell of cigarette smoke as it hit me.

Of course. Just my luck, I get stuck wanting to cry my eyes out in the bathroom where girls come to smoke, get high, or get drunk—the worst bathroom in the school. A senior was standing in the corner with an unmistakable cigarette hanging from her lips and a loopy expression on her blank face. At least the place was mostly unoccupied.

Quickly, I locked myself in one of the empty bathroom stalls and sat down on the toilet.

_I am the definition of pathetic_, I thought to myself miserably, burying my face in my hands.

Why should I be upset about Edward liking Tanya? I mean, yeah, I had thoughts about what would happen if we started dating, and I'll admit, when I was around Edward, I acted like a junior high girl with a crush on an older high schooler. But it was just a crush phase. I would get over it. Eventually.

God, I can't even lie to myself.

_Come on, Bella. You're going crazy over your best guy friend! It would ruin your friendship anyways._

Maybe it was because I'd been so used to it being me and Edward with the possibility of the two of us getting together. So I should just get over it and move on. Edward would still be my friend. He'd _always_ be my friend.

That was easier said than done.

"Bella? Bella, is that you in there?" Alice's soft voice called as she knocked gently on the door. "Bella, it's me, Alice. Are you okay? Talk to me—_please_."

Someone chuckled, the voice sounded deep and gravelly. I imagined it was the smoker who didn't look like anybody had been home if you know what I mean.

"Hun, men are the problem of the world. It's too bad we need them for the human race to survive." She said, and sure enough, her voice was rough and gravelly—but in a strange, attractive way.

"How do you know it's a boy?" Alice snapped. "You don't even know Bella."

"True, I don't know your friend like you do, but I know her situation. Girl has crush on boy. Boy has crush on a hotter, more popular girl. Girl runs to bathroom to cry. It's classic high school drama," she said, chuckling before quieting herself—with the cigarette, I presumed.

Alice scoffed before knocking lightly on the door. "Come on, Bells, I'm not leaving this bathroom without you."

I smiled a little. I could always count on Alice.

"I'm coming," I said, grabbing my books and unlocking the stall door. "I'm fine, Alice," I assured her untruthfully upon seeing her worried look. "Let me just wash my hands and we can leave." I wasn't going to tell her the smoker had it right, and I certainly wasn't going to tell her it was Edward I was nuts over.

Alice sighed and followed me to the sink. "What's wrong, Bella? I've never seen you like this."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a couple of paper towels, drying my hands. "What makes you think something's wrong?" However, she was more right than she dreamed.

"You're hiding in the worst bathroom in school, in the middle of first period, on the very first day of school? You know I know better."

"It was the closest bathroom…and I _wasn't_ hiding," I lied sternly.

"Oh really? Well then, what were you doing? Studying the cuss words inscribed on the stalls for a classroom project? I don't think so." Stupid, persistent pixie was so stubborn. Couldn't she just take the hint that I had nothing I wanted to tell her?

"No, actually, I came in here to join Miss Smokes-a-lot"—I gestured to the girl in the corner with the cigarette—"for a smoke. Care to join?" I asked sarcastically.

Alice scowled at me. "Fine, have it your way. Can we just get out of here and get to class before we're late?"

My stomach quivered nervously and my heart tugged a little in an aching way. Going to class would mean sitting in the same room with Edward and Tanya and God knows how much I did not want to do that. I had briefly considered a class change, but doing that might hurt Edward's feelings, making him think I didn't want to be with him. I didn't want to hurt Edward.

So I sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Let's go, Alice."

The sooner I got in class, the sooner it would be over.

Alice smiled a little and grabbed my hand. "Great."

As we were leaving the room, I saw the smoker from the corner of my eye, she smiled roughly at me and my heart sank at her words.

"See you next period," she told me in parting with a husky chuckle.

***

"Bella? Bella, are you alright?"

I sighed as I came in the door, already hearing Edward's anxious voice not one foot away as he walked up to me.

"I'm fine, Edward," I assured him. At least, physically I was. See, I was getting better at this half-truth thing.

"Are you sure? You…you don't look fine," he replied, touching my face. My heart squeezed and I hated it. He was quickly forming a crush on someone else and my body still had the nerve to tell me it wanted him. I hated being a teenager and I hated my hormonal reactions to my best friend.

I smiled as convincingly as I could. "I'll survive."

"So there _is_ something wrong." His eyebrows creased.

I sighed again. "Let's just sit down."

He suddenly looked nervous and a hand went through is beautiful tousled bronze hair. "Actually, Bella, I sort of already have a seat…"

Oh, God_, no_.

I peeked as unnoticeably as I could over his shoulder to see his bag on the table that Tanya Denali was sitting at. She was watching Edward's back, and smiled at me when she caught me staring at her.

I didn't return the friendly gesture and glanced back to look at Edward's face again. "You're sitting with her, aren't you?" I asked, harshly, to my surprise.

He looked a little ashamed. "Well, yeah."

I dodged around him and went to sit at the unoccupied table at the back of the class. I didn't want to talk to him right now. He promised me over the week that we could sit together in English and biology. I wondered how many other promises he would break just so he could be next to Tanya Denali.

Edward followed me and sat down next to me. "Bella, listen to me…she's new here, and she needs someone to show her around. I told her I'd help her with that." He didn't sound repentant so I wasn't going to say anything to him. I stared straight ahead at the front white board, ignoring him in mute anger. I didn't want him to know how disappointed I was and if I spoke, he was sure to notice.

"Bella? Say something."

I remained silent. I couldn't let him see how much it hurt.

He growled. "Fine." My face crumpled as he gave up and stalked away to sit down next to Tanya at the front of the class. When he sat, she glanced back at me, looking worried. I saw Edward shake his head and she turned back around, slinking down in her chair a little.

My eyes started to tear a little for the first time and I pulled out my notebook as Mr. Mason called the class to his attention. Instead of writing notes on the lecture, I started writing what I felt in my heart.

_I wish I could spit it out  
__But my mind is filled with doubt  
__Of how you would react  
__If you knew I couldn't go back  
__To the way we used to be  
__I just want you to want to be with me_

I sighed as I set my pen down and closed my notebook, tuning into Mr. Mason's droning speech.

"I want you all to make a book of original poems. They have to be linked by a subject of your choice, but each poem has to be different from the others. You need at least five. Ten or more will earn extra credit. The assignment will be due in four weeks, so I suggest that the sooner you start it the better," the teacher concluded, smiling a little at us.

So, at least this would be easy for me to do. I could write about how my heart was slowly breaking and get my A+ out of the thing. At least something good could come of this. Of course, I think I'd rather take a full heart than one split in two. But as I glanced back to the front of the class to see Edward and Tanya whispering a little, my head told me that having what I wanted wasn't really a possibility anymore.

In that moment, Edward looked up and caught me staring. I quickly looked down, pretending that he didn't just catch me watching the two of them while drowning in my own pity. But even as I stared at my notebook, doodling on the corner of my page, I could feel his eyes burning a hole on my head.

_Stop staring at me! _I wanted to scream, my throat burning with tears that I choked down. _You have her! If you can find someone, so can I! _I wanted to challenge. Edward always said I was stubborn.

"Miss Denali, so nice of you to join us," Mr. Mason said suddenly, pulling me out of my pathetic thoughts. I looked up, confused. Wasn't Tanya already here? But then I saw the one named Kate and I couldn't help but feel a little stupid. Of course; there _were _three of them here, after all.

Kate blushed, but grinned nonetheless. "Sorry, Mr. Mason." She said, handing him a pass. "I got lost." She said.

Mr. Mason eyed her suspiciously, as if he didn't believe this simple, common mistake (heck, even _I _got lost sometimes), before looking down at her pass. "Alright, you're new. I'll let it slide—just this once." He said. "There's an available seat by Bella. You can sit with her. She'll explain the homework." He said.

I pressed my lips together and kept my head bent, still doodling on my notebook page.

"Thanks, Mr. Mason." Kate said, and I heard her footsteps approaching my table and I couldn't help cringe. I didn't want to deal with anything right now. "Hi, there," she greeted warmly. "Are you Bella?" she asked.

I looked up, praying I didn't look like the disaster I was. "Yeah," I nodded, forcing a smile.

"Ooh, wanna talk about it?" she asked, cringing as she sat down across from me, dropping her bag on the table beside her.

I pursed my lips. "Not really."

She shrugged. "Alright," she said indifferently. "So, what's this homework about?" she asked, going on as if she didn't just catch me at my worst.

"We're supposed to write an original book of poems. At least five, ten or more is extra credit." I said, still doodling on the corner of my notebook, forcing myself to think of something other than Edward and Tanya sitting just a few feet away from me.

Should I title my poems? Maybe I should. How am I going to get out my shopping trip with Alice this weekend? Or, maybe I shouldn't get out of it. Should I hang out with Jake instead? He plans some pretty fun stuff. What should I get Renée and Phil for Christmas?

I sighed and went back to doodling on my notebook.

***

If I thought English was bad, that was nothing compared to how lunch was. I was miserable. Tanya and Kate sat at our table and neither Edward nor Jacob could leave Tanya alone. It was absolutely ridiculous. If you asked me, I saw that Edward liked Tanya—he was so easy to read sometimes—but Jacob looked interested too. Only I knew that he saw Edward looking at her, and decided not to say anything. Jake was just a good guy that way.

However, I wished he would say something. I felt jealousy and anger so thick it was literally choking me. I couldn't breathe, and if I looked up from my tray of cafeteria mush, I was sure that the tears would fall without my permission. I wanted to wait till I was gone from Edward's side before I broke down. If I did so in public, he'd know something was wrong, and I couldn't very well tell him that I had a crush on him, that was just…stupid.

Halfway through the lunch hour, I did end up going to the bad bathroom again. The Smoker was there when I came in looking all teary eyed and depressed and she laughed at how uncannily she had predicted my situation. If it weren't for the cigarettes, she could be the next Dr. Phil or something.

Edward finally seemed to recall my existence as we entered the biology room. He'd been staring off into space since leaving Tanya back in the lunch room and I knew what this meant. They were the crush symptoms. You can't stop thinking about that person. Trust me, if anyone should know this, I should. I had a bad case.

"Bella," he said. His voice was still a little stiff towards me after our bickering in English. "You don't like Tanya, do you?"

Not like her? I hate her. "Well, I don't know her that well, so I can't really say if I do or don't." _Liar._ I sighed to myself, hoping Edward couldn't see through my transparency.

"I think you two would get along really well if you gave her the chance," he urged me brightly. Of course he would try to get us to like each other. After all, wasn't his game plan to _marry_ her someday?

Even my own sarcasm was hurting me.

"Maybe," I allowed miserably, sitting down at a table and placing my hands together in front of me. Edward sat next to me and covered both of my hands with one of his. My freaking heart about broke through my chest at the contact. Why was I so crazy about him, even after knowing he could never return these feelings?

"Bella, something is wrong," he said softly, concern burning in his eyes and furrowing his brows. "Please tell me. I don't like seeing you like this."

"It's nothing, Edward," I tried to tell him. "I'm just…overwhelmed." A half truth.

He sighed and stared me straight in the eyes. My knees started to tremble and I thanked God I was sitting securely on a stool, otherwise I'd probably be on the floor twitching or something. The emerald of his eyes started melting me from the inside out, and I couldn't think straight.

I forced myself to look away. He opened his mouth to speak, but Mr. Banner came in just then and signaled the class' attention on him. And as he babbled about nothing in particular—or, maybe it was something important and I just didn't hear it—I doodled in my notebook, already knowing the things he was talking about—classroom rules and behavior and all that.

Out of the corner of my eye, through a screen of my long hair, I saw Edward slide a note over the blacktop table towards me. I felt my heart squeeze as I remembered all the times we did this and snickered when we were supposed to be paying attention to a teacher or a movie. Now he was probably going to do these kinds of things with Tanya. It will be as if I never existed...

I hesitated before reached forward and pulling the note towards me and unfolding it. Did I really want to read it?

Obviously I did, because I was opening it and reading through his familiar, elegant script—damn him. Even his handwriting made me swoon.

_You know you can tell me anything, Bella._

I pursed my lips together tightly. I really wished that he would just give it up. It wasn't like I could just tell him 'Well, it's obvious you like Tanya and vice versa, but I've liked you since forever. You should be with me, not her'. That would ruin just about anything left between the two of us.

_There's __nothing__ wrong, Edward._ I scribbled back before slyly passing the note across the table towards him, hoping that he would get the picture and leave me alone. This was something I discussed with Alice and Rosalie. Not Edward.

But he was persistent, of course, and slid the note back towards me.

_You're a terrible liar, Bella. Even in writing._

I rolled my eyes and repressed the urge to sigh. He was mocking me, but he was mocking me in a way that was urging me to go back to before first period when we first fought.

It wasn't the first time we had gotten into a fight. No, there were other times. Not many, but a few. They'd been over ridiculous, vain reasons. There had been a serious one, though, when I was considering moving to Jacksonville with Renée and Phil. We didn't speak to one another for a whole month.

But this was different. I was crazy in love with Edward and he didn't even know it, and now he wanted to be with Tanya and I was being all jealous and mopey and pathetic.

_I'm __FINE__. _I wrote back, my pen digging so hard through the paper that the words were copied onto the blacktop table. Oops.

Maybe I'd hurt his feelings. Maybe he got angry and didn't want to talk to me. Maybe he knew why I didn't want to talk to him, and he didn't want to talk to me anymore because he liked Tanya and didn't like me the same way. I didn't know. But whatever the reason, he left me alone—to both my relief and slight horror. Normally, he wouldn't leave me alone until I told him. Why was now so different?

But I didn't write a note back. What was I going to say? 'Look, I'm sorry. I just don't want to talk to you right now because I like you a lot, but it's clear you like Tanya and you might never want to speak to me again'. I didn't think so.

For the rest of the class period, I sat quietly in my seat, doodling in my notebook and trying not to think about Edward—who was sitting next to me, looking none too happy.

***

I was dejectedly glad when it was finally the end of the school day. I walked out of the gym with forming bruises on my arms and legs, but my relief to be able to put this horrible day behind me soon enough was overwhelming and I almost felt happy. Almost. I still couldn't ignore the fact that I was slowly breaking down, but at least I could distract myself with thoughts of what I was cooking Charlie for dinner.

I knew Edward was still upset with me after I yelled at him on paper, but at least I wasn't totally unforgiven as he loped up to me while I packed my books into my backpack at my locker. He smiled hesitantly and closed my locker door as I grabbed my rain coat off of its hook.

"Um, Bella?" he said nervously as I started walking down the hall. He was following closely, but he wasn't directly beside me.

I stopped and turned. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting today. Um…" he ran a hand through his hair and I felt my hands itch with the urge to do the same. I balled them into fists and pressed them to my thighs. "I know I was being pushy before biology and it really wasn't very polite of me. I'm just used to you telling me everything that bothers you and when you refused…it just made me worry."

Right then, I was completely wrapped up in the moment. Tanya didn't exist, my misery wasn't eating me alive, and Edward wasn't forgetting about our friendship.

I shrugged. "I should apologize too, Edward. I'm really sorry I can't tell you what it is, but I'm afraid you won't like me much if I do. I—" I bit down on my lip, abruptly aware I'd said too much. "I'm sorry." My eyes dropped from his and I ducked my head looking at the ground as my eyes watered slightly. There was a pencil at the toe of my shoe and I kicked it, sending it rolling across the tiled floor.

"Hey," he said softly, pinching my chin gently with his thumb and forefinger. He brought my head up slowly, giving me time to smother the tears forming in my eyes. "I just wish you'd let me help you, Bella. I'll always like you. You're my best friend."

Just his best friend. He'd always like me because I'd just be his best friend. I should've been happy that he would've confessed this, but my heart felt as if it were being ripped right up the middle. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to stifle the pain, and reopened them, regretting doing so when I felt a drop of water leak out of my right eye.

"Bella! You're crying!" Edward exclaimed in shock, wiping the tear away. "You…you shouldn't keep this from me. Whatever it is."

I pulled my chin out of his grasp and took a large step back. His close proximity was making it hard to think and I was already so confused that anything more would just be dangerous. I took a deep breath to steady my voice which I knew would shake anyway no matter what I did when I spoke.

"You should probably go now," I told him, my voice thick with unshed tears. "Tanya probably needs to be shown where the parking lot is." How I could make jokes and use sarcasm in my condition was beyond me.

"Bella?" Edward stepped towards me, looking confused.

I shook my head. "Charlie will be waiting for me." I turned and started rushing down the hall, clinging to my backpack strap tightly as it bounced against my back.

"Bella! Charlie won't even be home until five! Bella!"

I ignored the sound of Edward's desperate voice as he called out to me and hurried to the parking lot as quickly as I could without tripping on anything that would make me lose my balance. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I got into Alice's canary yellow 911 Porsche and she pulled me into her arms. I didn't feel like going home; I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry, but I knew that if I didn't get out of here, Edward would come looking for me and find me in here. He wouldn't leave me alone if he saw tears of this magnitude falling from my eyes.

So, with my voice heavy with tears, I told Alice to take me home and watched as she sped through the parking lot. I saw Edward's face as we drove through the parking lot and his bewildered expression was enough to put me over the edge.

I didn't stop crying even when I got home. Alice insisted that she take me somewhere else, but I wanted—_needed_—to be alone. I needed to have my thoughts all to myself.

"Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow morning?" she asked gently as I got ready to open the door.

I hesitated before nodding. "Yeah," I said before quickly hurrying out of the car and up to the front door.

***

I took a deep breath and cut out a piece of lasagna with a knife, plopping it on Charlie's dinner plate with a slice of garlic bread as I did so. I could hear my father in the living room booing and cheering at the television as he watched one of the first football games of the season. I wished that my life was as simple as Charlie's.

Wake up. Eat. Go to work. Come home. Eat. TV. Sleep.

I was jealous. Instead, I had all this drama in my life and I had no idea how to deal with it. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was on the set of a cheesy teenage soap opera.

The phone rang for the millionth time since I got home as I set Charlie's plate on the table. I ignored it. After looking at it the first time and recognizing the number belonging to a certain crush of mine, I decided not to pick it up. I let the answering machine do my job.

"Hey, this is Bella and Charlie. Sorry we can't pick up the phone now, but leave your name and number, and we'll call you back when we can! Thanks!" My voice mocked me from the machine and I grimaced at it as it beeped, telling the caller to start leaving his or her message. In this case, it was a guy.

"Bella? Bella, I know your there. Bella, I hate this. I need you to talk to me. The thing that's driving me crazy is that I don't even know why you're mad at me. Did I do something wrong? Bella, please, I'm sick of talking to this machine; I need to hear your voice. Please pick up, Bella."

I tried to pretend that it wasn't Edward. I tried to pretend he didn't sound so desperate. I tried…but I failed. His voice made my eyes tear up again and I hoped that Charlie would want to finish the game before coming into the kitchen to eat. I didn't want him to see me like this. Not over Edward.

I didn't reach towards the phone. I wanted to make him happy and take away his worry, but I couldn't talk to him until I'd come up with a way to make him believe that I was okay. Even if I wasn't.

Edward sighed. "You can't hide from me forever, Bella. We _will_ talk about this. I'll see you tomorrow."

And then, the message ended.

Charlie and I ate dinner in companionable silence. I was glad that it was Charlie and not Renee sitting across from me now. God only knows how painful that situation would have been. I was mostly able to keep a decently happy expression on my face as I stuffed huge bites of scalding lasagna into my mouth, but Charlie seemed too preoccupied to notice my gorging and left the table to finish the game, bringing his garlic bread with him.

I sighed. Charlie had it so easy in life.

I cleared up the table, put the leftovers away, and washed the dishes with exaggerated slowness so that I could think about doing something rather than let my mind dwell on the one thing I wished I could forget most. When I couldn't delay any longer, I called goodnight to Charlie and went upstairs to get ready for bed. I figured that if I concentrated on each little thing, then maybe I could hold off on the inevitable even longer.

So I showered. My strawberry scented shampoo made me feel calmer and like everything was normal again. Translation: no Tanya. I felt like maybe I hadn't had the worst day of my life today. Of course, when I stepped out of the shower and looked into the mirror to see my face, I knew that I wasn't hiding my pain as much as I should.

I brushed my teeth and hair quickly, wanting to get away from the sad image of myself. No wonder Edward was so worried; I looked like Charlie just died or something.

Finally, I was in bed and under the covers, curled up on my side while I hugged my knees to my chest. I really did try to force myself to sleep but Edward couldn't evade my mind for long. For one thing, I always thought about him because he was my best friend. We did everything together and I couldn't imagine life without him. Now that I was crushing so hard…he was even more impossible to forget. Except it wasn't the best friend part of him that I was thinking about.

I thought about the way his eyes glowed when he smiled and that perfect flash of white teeth. I thought about his beautiful auburn hair and how much I wanted to touch it. I thought about his face, so flawlessly constructed. I know that Edward touches my face all the time, but he's used to doing that. If I'd ever touch his face, it would mean more than just where our relationship stood now. With Tanya in the picture, it looked like I would never be able to satisfy the craving to brush my fingers along his cheek just once.

I was surprised to find that I was crying. My body shook with tremors of pain and I tried to curl in on myself tighter to stop it from hurting so bad. Who knew that Edward could make me feel so good and so bad at the same time? I wanted to stop feeling this agony, but there was no way to do that.

"Edward," I whispered in a sob, just so I could hear his name aloud. "You're breaking my heart."

And how I wish I had the strength to tell him.

* * *

Nicole:

_ Alright, chapter two! We really hope you guys enjoyed it. Bella's pain is our pain. Taylor and I really get into writing all this BxE heartbreak stuff. We hope you guys get as into it as we do. We're sorry the updates are taking a few days, but you'd be surprised at how much writer's block I have. Hey, don't forget to leave a review. We love hearing from you guys! I've replied to a few of them. Don't worry, we won't bite! Critique is welcome, too!! Just no flaming. That's retarded. Taylor, anything to add?_

_Taylor :_

Er, not really, Nicole xD You pretty much said it all. Although I would like to say I'm really happy with some of my readers from my other account who have come to read this. You guys made me so, so, so, so happy. It's like I already have fans who read most, if not all, my work. Really, truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that you few become a fan of this account too, because Nicole's writing style is way awesome, and I think we blend together well. Anyways, leave a review...or don't. Whatever you please. We'll post again soon!


	3. Sunshine in Hell

Chapter 3:

Sunshine in Hell

EPOV

_Just one more time, _I thought the next morning as I got ready for school. Quickly, I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Bella's familiar number and listened as the phone rang. Charlie would be on his way to work by now, and, normally, Bella would be waiting for me to pick her up, but last night, I got a call from Alice telling me that, today, she was going to pick Bella up.

_That_ was a sure sign that there was something wrong. Bella was obviously frustrated with me, but why? Had I done something wrong? I know that I hadn't been much of a good friend the day before, but in my defense, Bella didn't even want to help out Tanya, and I was only trying to help her around. She was new, she needed help. What's the harm in showing a new girl around the school? A beautiful, smart, funny, new girl?

No. No, I couldn't think of Tanya. Not now, not when Bella needed me. Even if she didn't say so, even if she didn't need me, I needed her. Because she was my best friend.

_Come on, Bella, _I thought desperately as I listened to the phone ring. _Pick up, please, don't ignore me again. Pick up! _I willed for someone to answer. I didn't care if it was Charlie, so long as someone answered the damn phone.

"Hello?" the stuffed up, groggy voice answered just before the answering machine came on.

"Bella?" I asked.

She swore loudly and I had to resist chuckling at the sound of it. That was easy enough; this situation wasn't funny.

"Bella, before you hang up, I need you to listen to me. _Please_," I begged.

"Fine," she grumbled after a moment, obviously still mad that she answered the phone in the first place.

"I know it wasn't right for me to get mad at you like that, and Bella, I'm sorry. Really, I am. But Bella, I don't know why _you're_ mad in the first place. Is it because of me, or is there something else going on that I don't know about?" I asked, desperate to know what was hurting her so much. "You used to tell me everything. We're still friends, right?"

From the other line, I heard Bella sniff. "Yes, Edward. We're still...friends," she amended quietly, but I noticed the hesitation in her voice as she said 'friends'. "But I just don't want to talk about it, okay?" she said, her voice choked up with tears.

And this pained me most of all. Bella told me everything—save the things she needed to talk to Alice and Rosalie about—and I told her everything—save the things I needed to talk to the guys about.

"Are you sure, Bella?" I asked.

"Positive," she said, sounding a bit more cleared up.

"Okay...Alice called and told me she was picking you up today. Is that true?" I asked, hoping that it wasn't.

There was a moment of silence.

"Bella, if it's true, I need you to tell me." I said.

She sighed. "Yeah, it's true." She admitted. "I just figured that…um…you'd ask me about what was going on, and I really, _really _don't want to talk about it, Edward." She said.

"I guess I can understand that," I mumbled, a little hurt that, for the first time, there was something important that Bella wasn't telling me. "So…um, I'll see you at school then, right?"

"Er, probably not…" she said slowly.

"What?"

"I…uh…made a new friend." She said, to my utter confusion. "Edward, I still have to get ready. I'll see you later. Bye," she said, hanging up.

Stunned, I snapped my phone shut. What was going on?

***

BPOV

It hurt to lie to Edward like that, especially when I knew that it hurt him to be keeping something important that was obviously hurting me, but he didn't know that I just _couldn't_ tell him because it was _about _him.

_You may hate this, _I thought as the image from my nightmare last night (an image of Edward walking away for me, getting farther and farther away, never stopping as I screamed after him…) flashed through my mind, _but you have no idea how much it's killing me inside, _I thought as I trudged back upstairs to change into some new clothes.

I dressed in my favorite khaki jeans and blue blouse—the one that Edward said looked so good on me. But I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without tearing up at the thought of the memory of when he first saw me in this ensemble.

I threw myself back at my sparsely filled closet and tossed article and article of clothing aside, searching for something—anything—that might make Edward _insanely _jealous and regret ever hanging out with Tanya. After all, I let Alice and Rose do most of my shopping for me.

And then, something clicked in my mind. _Alice and Rosalie_! I hardly wore any of the clothes they bought for me (only if I absolutely had to, but I did my own laundry, so that was hardly ever), and I kept them in the shopping bags under my bed. They were always into the clothes that showed-off-your-figure-but-looked-really-uncomfortable.

Quickly, I ran to my bed and pulled out the first bag I saw. Inside was a yellow sundress with spaghetti straps. The skirt was slimming and flowed easily down past my knees, and it gave my bosoms a bit of a boost. I rifled through my drawers and picked out a white, cashmere sweater with ¾-sleeves.

I pulled on a pair of yellow flats to go with my outfit of the day.

I chanced a glance at the clock in my room. Alice would be here in at least fifteen minutes, that is, if I was lucky. With her driving, she'd probably be here in at least ten.

Quickly, I yanked my brush through my hair. I wanted to do something to it, but with my luck, I'd get it all ratted and knotted and have to get it cut to get rid of said disaster. So, I let it hang loosely around my face.

I buttoned the top two buttons on my cashmere sweater—so that the small, revealing part of my cleavage (which wasn't much) was hidden—and hurried downstairs.

_No cereal, _I decided, as I searched through the cupboards. _Granola bar instead, _I thought, as I grabbed the apple-cinnamon flavored granola bar from the box I'd bought at the grocery store.

Alice honked her horn twice as she pulled into my driveway. Pulling on my coat and grabbing my bag, I shoved my granola bar into my mouth and hurried out the door and towards her familiar Porsche.

Her eyes widened, stunned, that I was wearing something that she had bought. I tried to smile as best as I could with half a granola bar hanging out of my mouth, but I'm sure my attempt failed miserably. I was just glad it was Alice seeing me in all of my un-lady like manners and not Edward.

I yanked the door of the car open and slid in. "Good morning, Alice. How are you today?" I asked politely with a full mouth as I shut the door behind me. This new confidence that Edward would somehow be jealous if I showed up looking different and having him pay attention to me and not Tanya made me happier than I'd felt almost all of yesterday.

"Ah…you—you're wearing—," she stuttered in disbelief, her eyes still the size of ping pongs.

I gnawed on the rest of the bar and swallowed loudly, patting her hand comfortingly. "Hey, we'd better go, Alice," I told her. "We don't want to be late."

For once, _Alice_ was speechless. She just nodded and pulled out of the driveway. It was only a few minutes of silence but still, I'd never heard her gone so long without talking.

"Isabella Swan, _why_ are you wearing _that_?" she asked incredulously in her pleasant voice.

I instantly felt like I should have stuck with the first outfit I had on. "Does it look bad?" I couldn't help but feel self-conscious, especially if Alice didn't approve. What if these clothes didn't even make Edward look at me twice? I threw away that thought quickly, wincing at the pain it brought.

"Bad?" she seemed bewildered by the idea. "God, no, Bella, you look hot!"

I blushed. "Really?" I'd never thought of myself as attractive, let alone 'hot'. It was…well, it was flattering.

"_Hell _yeah! Wait till Rose sees, she's not going to believe this!" she cried out happily and I smiled at the sound of her joy. "What brought all this on anyway? What made you decide to wear this?"

My smile faltered and I frowned a little. "Er…I figured that you were going to bite my head off if I didn't wear anything soon," I lied, stuttering in an unconvincing way.

She sighed and pulled into the parking lot. "Bella, Bella, Bella…what have I told you about lying to me?"

"I'm not lying," I insisted, avoiding her eyes as they flashed to my heated face.

"Bella, you can't expect me to buy that can you? After your behavior yesterday, and then, this? Honestly, do you take me for being stupid?"

"Honestly…" I trailed off jokingly.

She pulled into a parking space and shut the engine off, and then turned to me and punched me lightly in the shoulder. "You big meanie."

I laughed. It wasn't a deep laugh, just a light, airy sort of laugh. It felt good to make that sound again. "That's what they call me."

I was glad that our conversation had shifted onto another topic as we arrived. Miraculously, Alice forgot about me lying to her and jumped out of the car as, grinning at a certain tall gorgeous blonde running straight at the Porsche.

"Rosalie!" Alice trilled. "You'll never guess what Bella's wearing!"

I sighed and opened my car door, ready to get this over with. I really didn't think that I was that much of a knock-out in my dress, but if Alice and Rose flipped over my so-not-normal clothing, than I was sure that Edward would too. And that was good enough for me to pull through with this.

"Bella!" Rose gasped as I stood, pulling my backpack with me. "You're so pretty!"

I shrugged. "This ole thing?"

She laughed. "You look perfect. Is there a reason for the change in your dress code? The last time I checked you gagged at the sight of a skirt, let alone a dress."

I bit my lip. "I'm…opening my mind to some alternatives," I admitted. And for once, it was the complete truth. If this dress thing worked, maybe I would dig out the minis that Rosalie had gone nuts over in some sale in Seattle from a year ago.

"Okay, so who is it?" she asked in a quiet, excited voice as she stepped towards me. Alice was suddenly behind her and they had me trapped against the car. Crap.

"Er, why do you think it's a guy?" I asked nervously.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yesterday in that nasty bathroom I had to drag you out of, I realized that that wasted senior was totally right about you…as much as it irked me. You're crazy over someone, Bella. Tell us!"

"I can't," I said. "Not here. Maybe later."

Rose frowned. "Aw, Bella…"

I shook my head at the same time that horribly, horribly, beautifully familiar voice called my name. My heart sank and flew at the exact same time, and as much as I tried to ignore it, the silky smooth voice was just so persistent. I had to look at him.

And he was jogging over. Looking as mesmerizing as ever, Edward approached me as I was cornered against the Porsche. He slowed to a walk and came hesitantly, not breaking eye contact with me the entire time. He was still gorgeous, still sexy, and I still wanted him in a way that shouldn't even be legal.

"Er, hi Edward," I greeted him.

Alice and Rosalie stepped away from me, understanding dawning upon their faces almost simultaneously. I heard Alice snicker as Rose told us she'd leave us alone and pulled Alice away with her. My face felt hot as I struggled to look away from Edward's penetrating gaze.

It seemed that he finally noticed what I was wearing, and let me tell you, the satisfaction, the relief, the smugness, and the _absolute_ joy I felt at his reaction stifled any anger, pain, and jealousy I had experienced recently. His eyes got to be even bigger than Alice's had, and his jaw dropped, like in all the cartoons. So far, everything was going according to my not-so-careful planning.

"Bella," he sucked in a breath quickly like he'd just been punched in the stomach. "You…you're so…"

I shrugged and tightened my hold nervously on my backpack strap. "Alice and Rosalie wanted me to start wearing the clothes they buy me," I explained.

He looked up from my ensemble and met my gaze. "Since when do you listen to those two?"

"Since last night," I lied smoothly.

"Well." He seemed speechless and I was flying again. "Well then."

I wondered if I was glowing as much as I felt like I was. "You like the dress? It doesn't look bad or anything?" Okay, so maybe I was being a little mean, but I really wanted to hear his take on my outfit. If it was a yes, Alice and Rosalie were going to be so happy with my new style.

"It doesn't look like you," he told me quietly. My face fell and my world suddenly darkened, threatening rain; my tears. "It's not that you don't look good, Bella, you really, really do. But…why did you change?"

To make you like me. To make you want me. To make you need me.

I cleared my throat to clear away the tears forming. "I was just trying something new. I wanted to see if people thought it was better than the old Bella."

"I liked the old Bella," he told me. "But you're beautiful in that outfit; and…and I really like it."

I smiled hugely again. "You do? Really?"

He grinned widely. "Really."

I couldn't help myself. He liked my outfit when I thought he hated it. I threw my arms around him in a hug and I tingled and fizzed in a wonderful, welcome way where his skin touched mine.

"Bella, I know that you don't want to talk about whatever was bothering you before, but I want you to know that I'm here if you need me."

I pulled away too soon for my liking and nodded timidly. This felt a lot more intimate than usual, and it was making me nervous. Sure, Edward always said nice things about my clothes, but never, _ever_ anything like today.

And then, my skies were shadowed again as another horribly, beautifully familiar voice called _Edward's_ name.

"Edward!" I heard Tanya call. I looked away from Edward to see her walking up to us with a big smile on her face. She didn't look like a half-scared bunny like yesterday and the confidence made her beauty that much more incredible.

"Hey, Tanya," Edward replied in a relaxed voice. The smile that made my heart thump painfully against my chest appeared as he flashed it at her. She blushed and my stomach twisted nauseatingly.

She looked away from him and met my miserable eyes. "Oh! Hi, Bella! I know we haven't really had a chance to talk yet, but I've heard so much from Edward. You seem like such a sweet person; I hope we can be friends."

_Friends with you? _Hell _no_. "Yeah, friends! That'd be great."

She beamed. "Great!"

"Um, but I've got to get to class," I stuttered.

She giggled. "We have the same class. Edward and I will walk there with you."

My eyebrows furrowed at that statement. _Edward and I will walk there with you_. What, so suddenly, you were his best friend? I gritted my teeth together.

"Yes, that's right. Great," I said, trying to be happy. I think they bought it, but I think I saw Edward's eyes flash to my face. I needed to be happy. My outfit was bright and sunny—despite my horrendous mood, and my intense need to beat this girl until she was uglier than me.

Okay, maybe it wasn't _that _intense, but I wanted to get rid of her one way or another…

"So, Bella, Edward tells me your dad's the police chief here in Forks," Tanya said conversationally as we made our way towards my locker.

"Yup, that's Charlie," I said, trying my hardest not to roll my eyes or sound really catty about it. "Been on the force since before I was born." I added, not so interestingly.

"That's cool," she said, but it was clear she didn't really find that interesting. She was just trying to be nice. "So, what about your mom, what does she do?"

"She doesn't work. My stepdad does," I said simply, opening my locker and shoving all my books inside, grabbing a folder, my notebook and a pen for English.

"What does he do?"

_What's with the twenty questions? _I wanted to bite back, but I kept my cool, because Edward was still here. "He coaches a little league baseball team." I said. "What about your parents? What do they do?" I asked.

Tanya averted her eyes when I looked at her. "Oh…er, Kate and Irina and I…well, we're adopted." She said. "But Carmen and Eleazar are nice. Carmen's a home decorator and Eleazar's a psychiatrist."

_I may need a psychiatrist soon, _I considered. "Isn't Esme a home decorator?" I asked, looking at Edward, just to keep the conversation flowing. I knew Esme was an interior designer. Everyone in Forks knew that. In fact, everyone in the Olympic Peninsula knew that. Esme's Home Improvement was one of the most popular interior designing businesses around.

"She is? Why didn't you say so?" Tanya said, looking up at Edward, her eyes wide in astonishment. "Carmen applied for a job there when we moved here!"

"I'll have to talk to Esme about it, then." He said.

"So," I said, when a silence filled the air between us. "Have you guys written anything down for your English poems yet?" I asked out of both curiosity and lack of better things to talk about.

"Not yet," Edward admitted.

"I'm working on a few," Tanya said, casting a quick glance over at Edward before looking away, blushing.

I felt my heart sink when I saw him grin. I was being left out of conversation, and they were with each other right in front of me! Great. Just _fantastic_!

And suddenly, my body collided with that of another, and I nearly fell to the floor, had it not been for the person I collided with to catch me.

"Oh, jeez, sorry! I didn't see—Bella?"

"Jake?"

"You're in a dress."

"Thanks for stating the obvious." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Er, yeah…are you okay?" he asked, straightening me up before releasing me.

I rolled my eyes as I dusted myself off. I could see Jacob watching me, something like confusion in his eyes, but there was something else in there, too—interest.

"You're in a dress," he repeated, when I looked at him curiously.

"I know." I said, urging him to go on.

He shook his head and looked away, obviously embarrassed at being caught. "It's just…I dunno, a little weird."

"Should I take that offensively, seeing as how _I'm _the one who bought the dress for her?" Alice said as she and Rose suddenly appeared at our forming group with Emmett and Jasper.

"That's _Bella_? Man, I thought it was another new chick," Emmett said, staring at me as if I were some new toy in the window of a toy shop.

"What's with the change of style, Bells?" Jasper asked, giving me a curious look.

"Er—"

"We're forcing her to wear the clothes we bought her so they don't go to waste." Alice said, coming to my rescue, for I had forgotten my excuse for a split second. She flashed me a very pointed look, and I knew I would have to make it up to her—probably a shopping trip this weekend. Ugh…

"She's going to donate everything she doesn't like to charity when she's worn them all at least once—and only the ones she doesn't like." Rose added, obviously enjoying my torture.

My face burned as I stared at the ground. _They're going to kill me, _I thought as I thought of the torture they were going to put me through this weekend.

"Better you than me, sorry Bells," Emmett said with a chuckle when I glared up at him.

"Well, I think the dress look great on you, Bella." Tanya said, smiling brightly.

"Couldn't agree more." Jake said, nodding his head a bit too eagerly at my sudden and unexpected and not so subtle transformation.

"Er, I need to pee." I said quickly, needing to get away from this. Just 'this' in general. I couldn't take Edward and Tanya at the same time, here and now, with everyone else looking at something I was doing for love. I just couldn't do this.

"TMI, Bells." Emmett said, wrinkling his nose as he wrapped his arms around Rosalie's shoulders. "TMI," he said, shaking his head.

With that, I pushed past them and hurried down the hall and into the bathroom, unsure of what I was doing, just so long as I was allowed to have a moment to myself.

_It's not that hard, Bella, _I told myself as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, ignoring the smell of cigarette smoke that filled my nostrils. _Just go around and tell a little white lie. No one's going to know the real reason why you're doing this, _I told myself reassuringly. _No one's going to notice, no one's going to notice, _I repeated this little mantra as I splashed cold water on my face before drying it with a paper towel, feeling not so lightheaded anymore.

"Hello, again, Bella," the smoker wheezed from her corner.

I looked up and, through the reflection in the mirror, saw her standing there, a cigarette poised at the corner of her mouth. I glared at her. "Leave me alone. I'm _really _not in the mood for your cynicism." I snapped acidly, dabbing the paper towel over my face once more.

She chuckled and took a smoke from her cigarette before puffing it out, filling the bathroom with a new, fresh scent of nicotine. Blech. "I wonder what brings you to my domain," she said sarcastically, a smile on her face. "Oh, wait, _I _know," she said, almost mockingly. "Your best friend, Edward, won't notice you because he's got his eyes on little miss new girl Tanya Denali, right?" she said in a baby voice.

I gritted my teeth together. "So what if it is," I said haughtily, straightening my shoulders and jutting my chin out defiantly. "What's it to you?"

She shrugged. "Nothing but entertainment, I guess." She said, taking another puff from her cigarette.

"Bella?" Alice said as she and Rosalie came bursting into the bathroom, their faces paling the second they walked in and Rosalie pinched her nose in disgusted, trying not to breathe at all, while Alice kept her hand over her mouth and nose. "Gross," she murmured. "Why do you always walk into _this _bathroom?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

I shrugged. "Bad luck, I guess." I said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rosalie asked sincerely, despite the fact that we were in the grossest bathroom in the school.

"Maybe somewhere a little more...sterilized," Alice suggested, casting a weary look over at the senior in the corner.

I considered this for a moment. "I guess...but not here, not at school." I said.

"Okay, after school then," Rose said. "We'll go shopping, having dinner and talk it over then before coming home." She said. "You owe us for covering for you, Bella." She said when I was about to protest.

I sighed dejectedly. She was right. "Fine," I said. "But when Charlie burns the house down because I'm not there to cook him dinner, the two of you are paying to get my house rebuilt," I said pointedly.

Alice giggled and hooked her arm through mine, while Rose did the same. "Yes, Bella. Whatever you say," she said as the two of them pulled me towards the door so we could get to our different classes.

"Bye bye, Bella," the smoker said from the corner before the door shut behind me.

"Creeper," Rosalie muttered under her breath.

***

"Bella, you've had all day to think about a way to tell us details. We even gave you the trip to Kohl's and dinner at the restaurant; it's time you've explained yourself."

I shrank into the backseat of Alice's Porsche as Rosalie's demanding voice reprimanded me from the front seat with Alice nodding her head in agreement. They were right of course. They had taken me shopping and taken me out to eat so that we could be alone for me discussing feelings that I'm pretty sure the girls were aware of. The ones towards Edward.

Now, I was still stalling even though there was only thirty minutes left in our alone time. We were on our way home from Port Angeles and I still had to explain myself.

I took a deep breath. _Let's just get this over with. _"What do you want to know first?"

Rosalie turned around in her seat so that she could look at me. "I want to know how long."

My face got hotter than an open flame and I shrugged to try to appear nonchalant. "I don't know, since the beginning of summer, maybe before then. It's hard to tell."

Alice whistled. "Edward, huh? I thought you could do so much better, Bella," she teased.

I didn't take her teasing as lightly as I should have and ended up defending him. "Alice,_ he_ could do so much better than _me._ Have you ever noticed how perfect he is? How beautiful his smile is? How whole-heartedly kind and gentle he is?"

"Oh, Bella," Rose said softly as I rubbed my eyes to keep the new moisture in. "You poor baby; you've got it so bad for him."

I sighed and dropped my eyes to my lap. "I know…and it sucks."

"Sweetheart," Alice chimed, "why have you been trying to hide this from us? I thought we made a pact in the seventh grade to tell each other all of our boy secrets."

"Um…" I stuttered. "I was sort of hoping that this whole crush thing would just move on when I got over him. But it hasn't yet. I don't know how I can keep living like this though, because it's getting harder and harder every single day, especially since—." I choked off at the ending. I wish I had just left it off while I had no possible way of putting myself in hot water.

"Since what, Bella?" Alice pressed.

"Er…nothing."

"Lies, Bella. You tell lies," Rose hissed light-heartedly.

"Since…since Tanya," I admitted, figuring they'd get it out of me sooner or later anyways. Might as well get it over with while I had the chance to tell them myself.

"You're jealous of Tanya?" she replied, surprised, looking at Alice while Alice looked back at her. Was it really that hard to believe?

"Well, have you seen the way Edward looks at her? The way she looks at him?" I fought the tears again. "I think he likes her and vice versa. She just looks like she belongs with him too, you know? She's all beautiful and gorgeous and blonde and nice and I'm…not."

"Bella," Rose said reproachfully. "You _are_ beautiful, you _are_ gorgeous, and you're about a million times nicer than Tanya will ever be. I saw her cut in front of a freshman in the lunch line yesterday; that's something you would never do."

"Rose," I sighed. "That was Edward insisting she go in front of the underclassmen because she was new."

Alice snorted a laugh, but she covered it quickly as a cough. "Nice try, Rose."

She shrugged. "I had no idea she watched him like a hawk."

I blushed. "I do not."

"_Please_," she rolled her eyes. "Yesterday in the lunch line, he was hidden behind three seniors all taller than him. You were sitting down at our table across the cafeteria because you weren't hungry. I knew this because I was with him and Tanya in the lunch line."

"Okay, so maybe I can't take my eyes off of him," I blurted out, my face on fire. "What's so bad about that?"

Alice giggled freely this time. "Nothing, Bella, nothing," she soothed me. "I knew that something was up with you yesterday, but I had no idea it was Edward. And to find you so infatuated…it's refreshing."

"Try heartbreaking," I muttered.

"What was that, Bella?" Rosalie asked.

"Nothing," I lied again.

By now, we were under the street lights of Forks. The car had fallen silent from our usual chattering conversation and we all wrapped ourselves up in our own thoughts. I tried not to think of Edward, but what was the use of avoiding the impossible? He was just…a part of me, imprinted into my brain. I couldn't _not_ think of him, no matter how hard I tried, how strong my will was. Edward poisoned every single thought in my head and the worst part was that there wasn't an antidote.

I was so screwed.

_He's your best friend, Bella, _I chanted to myself. _Your _best friend_. You can't think of your best friend shirtless and sweaty. You should find that gross not sexy. What's wrong with you?_ And it was true. I was surely going insane because—

"Bella," Alice broke my thoughts off. "You're home."

I snapped my head up to see the lights of the living room—muted by the cream curtains—through the glass windows. I sighed and grabbed my purse, holding onto it tightly as I opened the door and slid out of the car.

"Er, thanks for taking me out tonight, guys," I told both Alice and Rose sincerely. "It wasn't the normal torture, but I'll live."

Rosalie laughed. "Get inside, Bella, be_fore_ we really decide to torture you."

I rolled my eyes and slammed the door. "See you guys in the morning."

"Wait, Bella! Am I…am I picking you up again?" Alice shouted out as she rolled down Rosalie's passenger door window.

I hesitated. "Um, I don't know."

"Why don't you talk to Edward and call me afterwards, okay?"

"Sure?"

"Good girl," Alice beamed. "Talk to you later!"

"Bye, Bella!" Rose called as the car took off down the street. I glowered after the vehicle and clenched my hand tightly around my purse strap. Alice didn't seem to take my situation as seriously as I considered it. I wished she could see that I was…hurting because of it.

"I'm home!" I shouted as I came through the front door. I hung up my coat, slipped out of my boots, and let my purse clatter to the table as I went out to greet Charlie in the living room. When I saw him, it didn't surprise me that he hadn't answered my greeting. He was sprawled out completely in awkward positions on the tiny couch and was snoring lightly.

I smiled a little at the sight and walked over to wake him up. "Dad," I murmured softly as I shook one of his shoulders—the one that was shoved up to his ear. "Dad, come on, wake up. You need to get upstairs."

He grumbled something unintelligible and I laughed at him. This made his eyes open. "Bells?" he slurred.

"Go upstairs to bed, Dad," I sighed, smiling at him.

He sat up with one eye opened and one I closed. "Where am I?" I chuckled to myself at his confusion and disorientation. Charlie was hardly ever humorous, but when he was half-unconscious he was down-right hilarious.

"Bed, Dad. Now."

"M'kay," he sighed and stood up, wobbling out the door of the room.

I watched him go and didn't go out to the kitchen until his heavy clomps on the stair case had ceased. I grabbed a juice box out of the fridge and sat down at the table. I sucked noisily on my straw as I stared down the phone sitting on the counter, debating on how to word myself. After I had downed the contents of my box, I decided that thinking up a speech I was just going to forget as soon as I heard his voice wasn't worth my time. So I picked up the phone and dialed his cell phone number quickly. It was only eight-thirty at night; he'd still be up.

It rang five times before it was finally answered, and when it was, my fingers froze in a rigid pose around the phone.

"Hello?" Tanya giggled into the other end of the line.

"Tanya! Give me my phone back! It could be important!" Edward demanded from the same end of the line as her. I choked on my own air at the sound of his suppressed amusement.

"Eddie, you're no fun," Tanya replied to him before giggling again and turning her attention back to me. "Hello?"

"Is Edward there?" I whispered.

"Bella? Is that you?" she asked.

"It's Bella? Dammit, Tanya, give me the phone!"

"She wants to talk to you. Here."

"Bella? Bella, are you still there?" Edward's voice was now more focused and concentrating, telling me he had his phone in his hand and held to his face.

"I'm still here," I murmured thickly. I hated being this gaga over him. Argh! Him being with a beautiful girl should not bother me this much!

"Oh," he sighed happily. "Good. What's up?"

I swallowed and the feeling felt forced and painful. "Oh, um, I just…I wanted to know—Edward, how come you're with her?"

"Bella?" he sounded surprised. "With Tanya? She wanted to meet Esme because her adoptive mom Carmen got a job at Esme's business. So she came over with Kate and Irina."

I started shaking with anger. My tears were quickly forgotten and a fierce jealously washed through me. He was in a houseful of very beautiful, very female girls, one of which I knew was crushing on him. I didn't like him being with all of them at the same time in the same house on the same planet.

"Bella? You still there?"

"I'm here," I replied as evenly as possible.

"Hey, are you still mad at me or can I pick you up in the morning?"

Better not push my luck. "Actually, that's what I was calling about. Alice is taking me again. Sorry."

And then I hung up.

I found it hard to unclench my fingers from around the phone from all the envy I was feeling, but it soon dried up and despair overcame me. The phone clattered the floor and I ran upstairs holding myself together as best as I could. I was able to get into my room, shut the door, take my cell phone and text Alice to tell her she'd be in my driveway the next morning.

Then, I gave in to my misery.

* * *

**Nicole:**_ Well, there you have it, guys! Chapter three! And it was a surprisingly quick update, if I do say so myself. We hope you guys liked the chapter, and please don't forget to leave a review. We can't stress this enough ((even if we **do** get lots of reviews)). Don't forget, if you have any critique--not matter how critical it is--we **want** to hear about it ((just so long as you're not flaming--FLAMERS WILL BE REPORTED!!)). So, um...I guess that's it from me. Anything to add/say, Taylor?_

**Taylor:** _Nothing much from me actually. Except that you guys rock and I love you all to death for sticking with our first attempt at co-authoring. You all deserve your own personal Edward because you are all just that awesome. This chapter was fun to write and in case you don't understand the title, think of Bella's dress x) And her current situation. That should get the ball rolling. Anyways, read and review because that's what good readers do! xD I made a rhyme! lol. Aren't I cool, Nicole xD Hope you liked this chappie dear readers!_


	4. The Beginning

Chapter 4:

The Beginning

The next morning, instead of going to my closet to put on my regular clothes—like I had originally planned before I called Edward last night—I looked under my bed and blindly grabbed one of the shopping bags full of clothes that Alice and Rosalie bought for me.

I ignored the skirts and dresses inside the bag and pulled out a pair of jeans with holes in the knees and a plain blue t-shirt with a faded white logo on the front. I looked deeper into the bag and found a nice, black zip up hoodie that I thought would go nicely with my ensemble for today.

Once I was ready for this new day of school, I made my way downstairs to have a quiet, lonely breakfast while I waited for Alice to come and get me. In the middle of my bowl of cereal and listening to the weather report on the radio, the phone rang.

Reluctantly, I got up to check the caller ID, fearing that it might be Edward calling me at this ungodly hour. It wasn't. It was Renée. Quickly, I set down my bowl of cereal, swallowed what I'd shoved in my mouth and picked the phone up from the charger.

"Mom?" I answered.

"Good morning, sweetheart!" Renée said brightly, making a smile cross over my features as I grabbed my bowl of cereal and made my way towards the kitchen table once more to eat. "How's school going so far?" she asked.

"It's…" I paused to think of something reasonable to tell her. What do I tell her? I couldn't possibly tell her that I was in love with my best friend and he didn't even notice because there was a new girl in school that he was interested in. "It's great, actually." I lied, surprised at how believable my voice sounded.

"Really?" she said, sounding surprised. "Usually you're complaining about something," she said, sounding a bit amused. "How're your friends? And Charlie, is he okay?" she asked.

I smiled. Even though my parents were divorced, Renée still cared about Charlie. I don't blame her for worrying about him just a little bit. I worried about him sometimes, too. "Great," I said. "Everyone's great," I said, feeling a little pang in my heart as I thought about how great everyone was—everyone but me.

Renée laughed quietly. "Alright, well, how's your phobia of college coming along?" she asked.

"It's not a phobia!" I said defensively. "And for your information, I'm coming along _great_," I said, even though I wasn't really doing anything about it. I had another year left before I had to worry about college. Right now, I wanted to focus on the task at hand—winning Edward back from that blond model. "I have to write a book of original poems for English," I said as a way to keep the conversation flowing.

"Oh, sweetie, that's great! You've always been so keen on writing," Renée said excitedly. "You'll be sure to make your mother a copy of all your beautiful poems, right, Bella?" she asked.

"Of course," I promised, finishing off the last of my cereal. "I'd share my autobiography with you, Mom." I said.

"That's good." Renée said. "So, how is everything up there in Forks? Are you and Charlie doing well? How's my mother? Have you seen her yet?" she asked.

"Charlie and I are fine. We're okay. I haven't seen Grandma yet, but I was planning on going to visit her today." I said. It was a half lie. I _was _planning on going to visit Grandma soon, just not when I was so depressed.

I looked up at the sound of a car honk. It wasn't Alice's canary yellow Porsche. Instead of the expensive yellow vehicle, it was Jake's old car. "Mom, I have to—"

"Go to school, I know." Renée said. "I just called to see how you were, Bella. That's all." She said.

"Thanks for calling, Mom." I said sincerely.

"You're welcome, Bella, honey." She replied. "I miss you. I love you, too."

"Love you," I said before hanging up and hurrying out of the house. "What are you doing here, Jake? I thought I told Alice to pick me up?" I asked, hopping out of the drizzle of rain and into his car.

Jake smirked and pulled out of my car. "She was running late and told me to come and get you since I was basically almost already here." He said.

I rolled my eyes before positioning the heater so it was hitting me at full blast. I sighed at the comfortable warmth. "Well, better than driving my truck, I guess." I said. It had been a bit under the weather for the last few weeks. I couldn't afford an actual mechanic, so I had Jacob fix it up every so often so it stayed alive. I had no mechanic while he was in Hawaii.

"Right, Rose told me. She said she tried to fix it for you, too." He said.

"She tried. She failed." I said, rolling my eyes. "She nearly killed it." I grumbled a bit bitterly, recalling the day I found Rose under the hood, about ready to tear the inside of the hood out, piece by piece.

Jacob chuckled, obviously amused. "She left that part out." He said.

"I'll have to tell you one day," I said with a smirk.

"I'll hold you to it," he said, giving me a smile before turning back to the road. "I see you're wearing something new today," he said, looking over at me from the corner of his eyes. "It's you, but you can tell its' something you'd find in all those stores Alice and Rosalie take you to." He said.

"Well, it's comfortable." I said matter-of-factly.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "I'm not insinuating it," he said. "I'm just saying. It's a bit dressy for casual clothes." He said.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Dressy how?" I asked. "I'm in jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie, Jake," I said, rolling my eyes at him.

He rolled his eyes right back at me as he pulled into the school parking lot. "I don't know how to explain it. I'm not good with fashion. That's stuff you should talk to Alice and Rosalie about." He said as we both climbed out of his car.

I never saw _him_ coming.

"Bella," hesaid, grabbing my wrist and keeping me from walking towards the front building of the school. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Edward asked, his voice sending a pang to my heart, and I was instantly reminded of when I last talked to him—just last night, when I heard him talking to Tanya.

"Um…yeah, sure…I guess," I said as he pulled me far away from the main building—away from curious ears. "What's up, Edward?" I asked, putting up a completely innocent, completely befuddled façade.

He ran a hand through his hair, staring at me curiously, as if I were a puzzle he just couldn't figure out. "Bella, are you…are you…_okay_? I mean, there's nothing wrong with you, is there?" he asked.

I blinked, still giving him that doe eyed confused look. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I'm okay. Why?" I asked.

"It's just…you sounded kind of…weird on the phone last night. Like you were angry again, and then you told me that Alice was picking you up again. Bella, is it something I did? You've been avoiding me like the plague since school started." He said.

"I'm fine, Edward." I said, pulling on the best fake real smile I could. "I was just a little frustrated about something, but I'm better now. I just had to sleep it off." I said coolly, surprised at how calm and collected I was. I was a better liar than what I gave myself credit for.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I nodded. "Positive," I said.

This didn't seem to satisfy him, but he took my answer none the less. "Alright," he said. "Then, would you mind if I gave you a ride home. Maybe take you out for ice cream? I missed you Bella," he said.

And just as I was about to swoon and my heart about to melt into a puddle on the floor, I heard _her _voice—the most beautiful voice in the world (beside Edward's)—call for him.

"Edward, there you are!" Tanya said, coming towards us. "And Bella! Hey!" She said, beaming at me. "I like your outfit. Aéro?" she asked, gesturing to my clothes.

I shrugged. "I guess," I said, trying to keep my voice calm and steady and trying to sound indifferent about whether or not my clothes came from one of those places like Aéropostale and Abercrombie and Hollister and whatnot.

Tanya nodded. "They look good on you—_especially _those jeans. I absolutely _love _them on you." She said.

I flushed and looked away, hating myself for feeling flustered at her compliment. "Thanks," I mumbled. "Well, I'm just…yeah." I mumbled, making my way towards the main building so I could get to my locker.

When I got there, Jasper was there, along with Angela, and the two of them were quietly putting their books away in their lockers.

"Good morning," I greeted them.

"Morning, Bella," they replied with smiles.

"Bella, did Alice drop you off?" Jasper asked.

I shook my head. "Jake did. He said she was running late," I said. "But I'm sure you can catch her in a little bit. She's never late for school," I said.

He nodded. "Alright, thanks." He said before closing his locker and making his way down the hall to go and—undoubtedly—wait for my best girl friend.

I turned to Angela and smiled at her. "How was your summer?" I asked, because I hadn't been able to have a decent conversation with her in what felt like _ages_!

Angela shrugged in return. "Oh, it was okay, I guess." She said. "I mean, I've had better. Family reunions…not the greatest thing in the world," she said, shoving another book into her locker. "How was yours?" she asked.

"Better than what I've been going through the last few days," I said, grabbing my English notebook and folder. "Well, I guess I'll see you in class." I said.

"See you," she smiled before going back to organizing her locker.

With that, I turned and made my way towards Mr. Mason's English class.

The room was completely empty. Not even Mr. Mason was in there quite yet. I sighed and made my way towards my usual seat at the table in the back. I flipped my notebook open to a random page and began doodling, letting my hair fall over my face like a curtain.

I wasn't exactly sure what I was drawing, but I got to shading in the familiar eyes that were supposed to be green with my pen and I quickly flipped to a new page, afraid of what would come of the drawing if I had gone any further.

_Get him out of your head, Bella! _I commanded myself firmly. _He's got Tanya to replace you now. You don't need him, _I told myself as I pressed my pen to the page and began letting the line flow from me, unsure of what I was drawing.

"You're in here early."

I looked up from my book to see Kate Denali grinning in the doorway with her own notebook held to her chest with crossed arms. She walked towards me casually and dumped her stuff on the table before turning to me.

"So, what's up?" she asked.

I didn't know why this girl thought I was her friend or why she was so comfortable around me. I usually found it annoying, but in this instant, I was abruptly grateful for her considerate questions.

I sighed as I responded truthfully. "I'm having problems that are way too freaking complicated to fix. You?"

She shrugged. "Nothing really. Forks is boring; what do you people do for entertainment around here?"

I laughed a little, glad for her distraction. "Been to Port Angeles?"

"Yes and I have to tell you: it's a sad excuse for your night on the town. It's about as empty as Forks."

I sighed again. "I know. Why'd you guys move here in the first place?"

"Well, Carmen wanted to live somewhere different…and warmer. It's so cold and dry in Alaska; I can't believe that you guys can live with all the humidity here, it practically chokes me. Anyways, Eleazar's business was losing customers after a new psychiatrist office opened down town so he was losing money. Both of them wanted a fresh start. Tanya picked the state, Irina picked the county, and I picked the city. It was a random, spur of the moment thing."

"That's exciting."

"Well, what about you? Been in Forks forever?"

I nodded. "Yes. With my Dad. My mom lives in Jacksonville now with my stepdad."

"That's nice. Do you see her often?"

"Not often enough." My voice got a little tight.

She heard it. "I'm sorry. Hey, have you started the English project?" She just knew when to stop, didn't she? Maybe I'd been wrong about her before now; she was nothing like Tanya and I found myself liking her a little more each time she spoke to me.

I cleared my throat and sat up straighter. "I've got one really short poem. It's nothing much."

"What is your subject?"

I blushed and looked away from her.

"Oh. Well, you don't have to tell me, I guess."

"Thanks. Um," I stuttered, "it's a touchy subject for me."

"It's Edward isn't it." She didn't phrase it as a question; she phrased it as a sentence. I found my eyes nearly popping out of my head at her completely bold, completely random, and completely correct guess.

"How—?"

She rolled her eyes and cut me off. "Oh please. I don't really know you that well, Bella, but I know enough. You might think you're doing so well at concealing yourself, but half the people you hang around aren't that stupid. I see that you don't like Tanya because Edward does like her; and I understand that completely. Tanya has always been the type of girl that gets the hot guys. But, if Edward is smart, he'll choose you."

I couldn't respond. All I could do was openly gape at her like an idiot, probably catching flies in my mouth.

"W-why do you say t-that?" My lips stumbled clumsily over my words when I found my voice. By now, the room was starting to fill with students in our class. To keep myself appearing nonchalant, I started writing randomness.

She waved her hand around dismissively. "Tanya's an awesome sister and all, but the guys she's attracted to are so not her type. And when she realizes that, she just dumps the guy and goes for someone new. She's broken lots of hearts that way."

I wanted to believe that this was a good thing, that it would enable me to be with Edward without Tanya again, but then I remembered how perfect Edward was and how impossible it was for someone to not like him. "She's not going to dump him," I sighed.

She picked up her pen, opened her notebook, and wrote her name in the right hand corner of the page. "Why not?"

"Edward's flawless. I've never met anyone who hates him; he's every girl's type…which sucks for me." I sighed. "I don't think he even realizes…"

Kate punched my shoulder. Hard.

"What was that for?" I demanded, looking up with an angry expression on my face to meet her eyes.

"Bella, why don't you just tell Edward?"

"Tell me what?"

I glanced up with wide eyes to see Edward leaning against our table, looking confused. The way he appeared out of nowhere was kind of unsettling. I had to be more careful with my conversations, or he could end up hearing everything at the wrong time.

"Oh, er, um…" I stuttered, my hands flailing around wildly to cover up the short description of his face that I had begun to write.

Kate was miraculous. I seriously had to give that girl some more props for being the person she was. "Oh, Bella just needed to tell you that she wanted to come over with me and Tanya for dinner at your house tomorrow night."

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as jealousy bubbled in my stomach again. "She told you about that, huh?"

"She invited me," Kate clarified.

Edward turned towards me looking ashamed of himself, his hand still behind his neck. "I was going to ask if you wanted to come, Bella, but I know you don't like Tanya so…"

"No, no. That's fine," I said, waving my hand in dismissal even though I was seething on the inside. "I just remembered I have plans anyway," I said, remembering the conversation I had with Renée this morning. Maybe it was time I pay Grandma a visit?

Judging by the look on his face, I could see that he didn't believe me. I didn't blame him. I was a notorious bad liar. I couldn't even lie to myself—and that was pretty bad.

I rolled my eyes and forced a smile—hoping that I was making it as realistic as possible. "Really, Edward," I said reassuringly, "you enjoy your dinner tomorrow evening with Tanya." I said. _Because it's not like I really care, _I thought with bitter sarcasm.

Edward sighed, obviously not buying any of my crap. "You're a terrible liar, Bella. If there's something you have to say then just tell me already."

I glared at him, surprised that all my anger was actually being directed towards him. "I don't _want_ to tell _you_, Edward, alright? You shouldn't concern yourself with my problems anymore because I'm not going to share them with you, okay? Just leave me alone."

His eyebrows furrowed and he leaned forward, placing both of his hands on top of the table and pressing his confused, hurt, and furious expression closer to my face. His proximity had my heart skipping beats. "What the hell did I do wrong, Bella? It's like I don't even matter to you anymore! Don't I matter?"

I could feel Kate's eyes glancing from Edward's face to mine and back again, over and over as she watched our friendship fall apart. It was embarrassing to have a witness to my downfall…it would be even more embarrassing afterwards when I was biting my lip to keep the sobs locked in my chest.

_You matter _too_ much!_ I wanted to scream at him. Instead, I avoided my blurry gaze from his eyes to glare at my hands which were still covering the notebook I was scrap writing about him on. I felt one tear brim over the edge and roll lazily down my cheek.

"Dammit, Bella! Answer me!" he demanded in a growl, thrusting his fingers under my chin and pulling my face up so that he could look at me. I closed my eyes and another tear fell. I didn't want him to see me like this and it was even more humiliating that it was happening at school. To tell you the truth, I'd never seen this rough side of Edward before and it almost scared me. However, I _had _seen his incredibly soft side, and I knew that he would never hurt me…not intentionally anyway.

Still, I couldn't open my mouth and admit to him that I was infatuated with his entire being. I couldn't say that he meant more to me than anything in the whole world. I couldn't tell him that I was too deeply past the friendship stage to have any hopes of turning back. So…what was I supposed to say? That I hated him? That I didn't want to be his friend anymore? The very thought had me drawing in a sharp breath at the pain it brought to my chest.

"_Please_, Bella, _please _answer me. Don't I matter to you, Bella? Please _answer_ me, Bella." The sound of his voice—no longer angry but insecure, guarded, and agonized—had my eyes shooting open to find his face with a broken expression staring back at me. "Don't I matter?" he whispered.

I couldn't let him hurt like this any longer, no matter how much I knew I would suffer later. Seeing him so vulnerable was also something I'd never witnessed and I hated being able to look at him so unsure of himself, of me. It was unendurable to see him in so much misery. I was the only one allowed to be in agony here, I wouldn't let it happen to Edward; I couldn't let him feel pain, not when I could stop it.

"Yes," I finally answered in a barely audible, wavering voice. "Yes, of course you matter, Edward."

For a split second, I feared that his glistening eyes would be too full, that a tear would fall from his eyes, but my answer erased all the ache in his beautiful face. The hand under my chin traveled around to caress my cheek gently, something that felt too sensual coming from Edward, making my heart rate increase. This was completely foreign and new but I didn't want him to stop, even if we were at school, just about to start first period.

"Then I will _always_ concern myself with your problems, Bella," he said quietly in his irresistibly silky voice.

I sighed, nonchalantly making my cheek press further into his hand. The electric current in his fingertips stung my skin, but I reveled in the feeling. "I don't know why you should."

"Because," he said sternly. "Because you deserve it, Bella. Because you're my best friend."

I didn't believe him. Ten years from now he would probably be happily married off to someone like Tanya, living on the other side of the country working as a doctor with extremely high pay. I, on the other hand, would be the pathetic, single, unsuccessful person I am now staring at photos of him from high school and wishing he'd have given me his new phone number. I sighed again and nodded, despite what my head told me.

"Sure," I said, unconvinced.

When he removed his hand from my face, the cold that immediately hit my flushed skin almost made me wince. "I _am_ taking you after school," he reminded me, almost possessively. "And you will _not_ wiggle your way out of it. Understand?"

I nodded again.

It made my heart stutter and I felt clean on the inside when he smiled at me. I was glad that even though I could cause him pain, I could take it away too.

"I'll see you at lunch, Bella."

And then he walked away from me, taking his place next to Tanya near the front of the class as the teacher came in, looking ruffled and grumpy as usual, to start the day. I was so freaking screwed; I couldn't say no to him about anything could I?

"Oh my_ God_," I heard Kate hiss from next to me.

I looked over at her in shock.

"What?" I whispered back.

She rolled her eyes and averted her gaze from me to glare at the front of the room. "It's absolutely ridiculous that I should have to tell you."

"So you're not?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not going to tell you. You'll figure it out by yourself eventually, and if you don't, well, I guess the words 'blind as a bat' will describe _you_ well."

I was confused with her, completely in the dark about whatever the hell she was referring to. My head hurt, my heart ached, and I felt emotionally and physically drained…_and_ it was only eight fifteen in the morning.

It was going to be a long day.

***

"So, Bella," Tanya said conversationally at lunch when I was a hair away from banging my head against the table repeatedly (listening to her go on and on about Alaska and all the glamorous things she was able to do there while my friends listened in awe was enough to drive anyone insane). "How much have you gotten done for the English assignment?" she asked.

Edward looked over at me and flashed me his usual sexy, crooked grin. I looked away, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. "Bella's always been good at writing. Knowing her, she's probably almost finished with ten poems." He said.

I rolled my eyes and flung a spoonful of peas at him. "Shut up," I mumbled, flustered, while they all laughed and watched Edward shake the small green vegetables from his hair. "As a matter of fact, I _don't_," I said matter-of-factly. "I have one completed."

Edward pretended that it was the coolest thing in the world and rolled his eyes while I flung another spoonful of peas at him.

Alice groaned and rubbed her temples. "_Please_," she begged. "Do _not _talk about that stupid assignment. It gives me a headache just thinking about it." She said.

Rosalie chuckled before forking another bite of salad into her mouth. "I'm _so _glad I'm not a junior anymore," she said. "I absolutely _hated _writing that stupid book of poems."

"I thought it was pretty easy," Emmett said, resting his hands behind his head.

"Because you didn't even do it," Jasper said, rolling his eyes.

"Exactly," Emmett said with a silly grin, making the rest of us laugh.

"And you passed the school year?" Jacob asked, raising an eyebrow.

Emmett shrugged. "I had to make up for it, 'cause that stupid poem book was worth a huge part of my grade. But, in the end, I passed." He grinned.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Barely…" she muttered under her breath before taking another bite of her salad.

Emmett pulled his hand over his heart, feigning a hurt expression. "Rose, baby, that hurts!"

"It'll hurt even more if I were to _accidentally_ stab my spork in your eye." She replied simply, to which we all laughed when Emmett gave her an incredulous look. "What?" she said, raising an eyebrow at him. "You don't think I would really do that to you, do you?" she asked sweetly.

"Knowing you, Rose, anything's possible." Jacob said with a chuckle, stealing a grape from my tray—to which I lobbed him in the head with another one (no one steals my food and gets away with it).

Tanya giggled. "You guys are _so _funny! You're much more fun to be with than my friends back in Alaska." She said with a sigh.

"Of course we are!" Alice said, rolling her eyes, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "We're our own little group of awesomeness." She said with a playful wink.

"That's one way of putting it," I said between laughter before turning to a smiling, thoughtful Tanya. "We just know how to have fun, that's all…" I said. "But, you know," I added after a moment, "our awesomeness _is _worth mentioning."

Everyone whooped in agreement.

"You know what we should do this weekend?" Alice said, standing up from her seat.

I groaned as her excited tone alerted me to exactly what was on her mind. "No!"

"Hush, Bella! It's necessary!"

"But Alice—"

"I was only going to take Bella—"

"We went yesterday. I'm not going. I refuse."

"Yes, you're going. Now shut up and sit there while I explain—"

"No! You can't make me go!"

"Of course I can, silly Bella!"

"I'll shoot you off my property, I swear I will. Charlie's got some spare guns lying around somewhere."

"You couldn't; you've got the worst hand-eye coordination I've seen in my life."

"Try me."

"Er—what…?" Tanya said slowly, wearily.

"Alice wants to take Bella shopping. Of course, as usual, Bella doesn't want to go." Rosalie explained with a roll of her eyes as if our argument was something even Tanya should understand by now.

Edward chuckled, making me blush slightly. "You get used to scenes like this coming up at random moments."

Tanya nodded. "Okay…"

Alice cleared her throat, I glared at her and crossed my arms defiantly over my chest. "As I was saying, before I was so _rudely _interrupted," she said, shooting me a dirty look, "I think we should go shopping. Just us girls—yes, Tanya, that means you, too. Why? Because you're our friend now, and that means you need a sort of 'initiation', if you will." Alice said.

I tried not to outwardly show my disgust at the idea. Tanya? Part of _our _group? I might as well go throw myself over a cliff now…I wondered what Alice would do if she knew how much I hated Tanya, if she had any inkling of how much I wanted to cheerfully beat her to death just for being alive and being beautiful.

"Thanks, Alice." Tanya said with a smile.

"So it's settled then." Alice said happily, clapping her hands together.

"Yep," Rose said with a nod.

"Definitely," Tanya agreed with a wink.

"No." I said flatly.

"Bell-_laaaa_!" Alice whined.

"I'm _not _going shopping, Alice." I sighed. "I hardly even wear half the stuff you and Rose buy me. I have no need for anymore clothes in my closet." I said, standing up and grabbing my tray. "Not this weekend. Maybe another weekend," I conceded.

I walked away before she could protest, feeling somewhat guilty for turning on her like that. But the thought of having Tanya become a part of our group sickened me.

It made Edward all the more available to her…and I'm more than a million percent positive that that was something I did _not _want happening.

I didn't realize I had someone following me until he said something.

"Will you _slow down_, Bella? _Geez_."

I turned in shock. "Jake? What are you doing?"

He smiled hugely at me as he finally reached my side. "Well, I'm taking a walk with one of my best friends for the remainder of the lunch period, what does it look like I'm doing?"

I sighed. "You don't have to, you know."

He gave me a one-armed hug. "I know, but I could just tell by your face that you were about to start screaming like a banshee if you didn't get out…and I thought you might like some company. Besides, we haven't really spent much time together since I got back from the Aloha state."

"I was really enjoying the peace and quiet too," I teased him, punching his chest lightly.

He chuckled but his face went suddenly serious. "Bella, do you like Tanya?"

I felt my mouth screw up in anger as blood boiled under the skin of my face. Could I go anywhere anymore and not hear about anything to do with the freaking Denalis?

My voice was acid as I replied. "She's practically a sister to me already."

Jacob frowned. "That's what I thought." It was apparent that he knew I was being sarcastic.

"Why do you care?" I spit at him as I started marching towards one of the benches right outside the cafeteria.

He followed me easily, nervously twiddling with a hang nail on his thumb as he sat down next to me on the bench I was aiming for. "Well—"

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. "God, _no_. Don't tell me you've been brainwashed too."

He smiled ruefully at me as my hands came away from my eyes. "I can't help it, Bella. She's so pretty and nice. She sits next to me in our second period class and she's just the funniest, nicest, most considerate person I've ever talked to." After a sideways glance at my fuming expression, he added, "Except you, of course, Bella."

"So, what, you have a crush on her?" I asked harshly, mashing my hands together in front of me.

He sighed sadly and leaned back against the bench rest, his face morose. "I think so…but Edward…"

"Likes her," I finished sourly in a miserable voice. Jake looked to me in alarm. I guess Edward wasn't the only oblivious towards my obsession.

"You…_Edward_?" he inquired in a disbelieving voice. The sadness had dropped from his features as he leaned forwards and sat with his elbows resting on his knees, his hands dangling in the void above the concrete below.

I blushed and stood just as the bell signaling the end of lunch sounded off. "I have to get to class."

I tried to run away from him, so that I wouldn't have to confirm or deny his question, but his large hand slipped around my small wrist and he held me fast.

"Bella, just tell me if—"

I glared at him over my shoulder. "Later, Jake. Not now."

"You swear?"

"On my life," I muttered. "Now let me go."

He sighed, but complied. I could feel his eyes on me as I hurried towards biology, my hands habitually straightening my hair and clothing as I prepared to come face to face with Edward again. It sucked being so infatuated with him but I didn't see what I could do about that. And now that Jacob knew, and I knew for certain he liked Tanya, I sensed things were about to get a lot messier than they were now.

I never thought that possible, but as it turns out, I was more right than I ever dreamed.

* * *

**Nicole:** _I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so so so so so so so SOOOOO sorry!! It's all my fault that the update took so long to get out! I had writer's block halfway through the chapter! Thankfully, Taylor, who is the awesomest person in the world, was there to help me out of it! I promise, the next update will be much faster. But, you know how it is, right? Grr. I hate writer's block. I hope we didn't lose any fans! Oh, gosh, I'm SOO sorry! Anyway, I've been really busy too. Homecoming week's over with, though. Now I've got driver's training to worry about. But I'll be done by the end of October. :) Anyway, I promise not to be so stupid next time. Don't forget to leave a review!!_

**Taylor:**_ As you can tell, she's grovelling for your forgiveness. Really though, you guys are so cool for being here with us as we continue down this misery road. LOTS of drama and jealousy will follow. lol. If you stick with the story I know you guys won't regret it. Leave a review if you want to tell us how much you appreciate us and our amazing work...or not, if you don't want to. lol. Thanks!_


	5. Wedding Bells and A Broken Heart

**Chapter 5:**

**Wedding "Bells" and a Broken Heart**

"Oh, look at that, it's raining. And I was _so _looking forward to going out for ice cream today." I said as Edward and I stepped outside, under the rooftop over the door as we watched the rain fall fast and hard from the sky.

Edward rolled his eyes and pulled the hood of my sweatshirt up over my head. I looked away to keep him from seeing my blush. "It's just rain, Bella." He said. "You never used to care before," he said, and I detected a hint of hurt in his voice.

I cringed inwardly. It pained me to think that I could hurt him like that. _Just be his friend, Bella, _I thought. "Why don't we go out for soup instead?" I suggested.

"Soup?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Well, why not? It's cold, and soup is _really _warm." I said.

He rolled his green eyes and, grabbing my wrist, pulled me into the pouring rain. We ran across the slippery pavement towards his silver Volvo. He kept a hold of my wrist until he unlocked his car and we both slid into the two front seats.

"So…are we going to get soup?" I asked as we threw our things into the backseat.

Edward grinned at me and shook his head, the little water droplets that clung to his now-sopping wet auburn hair flying at me. "Nope," he said, chuckling while I scowled at him.

I sighed and leaned back against my seat, but smiled nonetheless. "Fine," I obliged.

With that, he sped out of the school parking lot and drove us to the nearest ice cream parlor. Believe it or not, it was still open. We ordered our usual treats—Edward a hot fudge sundae and I a vanilla cone dipped in chocolate. Yum!

We ate in his car with the heater on low.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Edward asked as I crunched on the chocolate coating around my vanilla ice cream.

"Well, I have to get home." I said, to which he frowned. "I want to go see Gran today." I said, laughing at his expression. "I haven't seen her in a couple weeks." I said.

"Alright, I'll go with you."

"I kind of want to go alone…"

He was silent for a moment. I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head while I stared down at my ice cream. "Really?" he asked, surprise and hurt evident in his voice. I had always taken him with me before.

I shrugged. "Yeah," I mumbled, somewhat embarrassedly. "I kind of have some…um, personal things to ask her, too." I admitted.

"Personal things that you…you can't talk to me about?"

"Personal _girl _things, Edward," I clarified. "I draw the line at talking to you about some things." I told him.

Something on his face told me he obviously didn't believe me. But he shrugged after a moment of staring at my silly smiling face. "I guess you're right," he chuckled, running a hand through his wet hair. "I mean, there are some things that I can't talk to you about…"

I nodded. "Exactly," I said. "Wait, like what?"

Edward chuckled and touched the tip of his finger to my cold nose. "Wouldn't _you _like to know."

I laughed at my hypocrisy before taking another bite of the chocolate coating around my ice cream.

*

Even though I finally convinced Edward that I really, _really_ needed to go to Gran's alone, he still insisted on driving me to and picking me up from her house. Unfortunately, that was the one thing he remained adamant on and I gave in after ten minutes of trying to persuade him into letting me drive myself with poor grace.

"I'll be here at seven sharp to pick you up," he was saying as he pulled up to the curb. Gran's tiny house sat only a couple of yards from the street. It was a small, delicate home with a white picket fence and an oak tree that shaded almost her entire property. The house was painted a soft yellow color with white shutters and abundant flowerbeds resting under one of the windows. It was the kind of house you saw in movies with everything perfect and adorable.

"I know," I sighed in longing, wishing he'd just give me an inch. I didn't know how to be close to him anymore with the complications of my feelings for him and his feelings for someone else. I tried to cover my awkwardness as best as I could, but sometimes, I was pretty sure he saw right through it. Hell, maybe he _always_ saw right through it. Edward could see through anything…but my heart, that is.

He eyed me carefully and leaned in to kiss my cheek in a platonic way. At least, that's what I thought it was going to be, since he'd always pecked my cheek that way before. But it was different this time, slower, more electrifying, and only about a million times more confusing. His lips pressed into the hot skin of my cheek and I turned a brighter shade of red when they stayed there longer than I expected. Could he feel the fire between our skins? Surely it wasn't weak enough to be all me; surely he felt that spark, that burning too.

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until he leaned away from me and I inhaled raggedly. Edward smiled and ran a finger from my temple to my chin, leaving a warm trail down the side of my face.

"Good. Don't make me come in. Tell Gran I said hi," he finally replied.

I sighed again, but smiled slightly, nodding. "I will. Um, see you after."

"Yes, you will."

I didn't know what else to say, and I was starting to feel awkward again, so I just smiled again and opened the door of his Volvo, stepping out into the rain. Edward honked his horn as a goodbye symbol and waited till I was under the shelter of the porch roof before speeding off down the road.

I took deep, cleansing breaths, telling myself that since Edward wasn't here anymore, there wasn't any reason to feel this insecure and nervous. _Isn't there? _the negative voice in my head contradicted. After all, wasn't my plan to talk about Edward to Gran, to see, to hope, to _pray_, that she had some sort of magical solution that could make everything right and perfect again?

I was just reaching for the brass doorknob when the door itself swung wide open. I looked up, surprised, to see Gran grinning at me from ear to ear. She was younger than most kids' grandmothers, probably because Renee was only eighteen or so when she got pregnant with me. Gran's lightly wrinkled face and shining brown eyes brought a wave of nostalgia rolling over me, replacing all the fluttering, anxious feelings inside me. She was no taller than me, yet she seemed to tower over me sometimes, being the iron anchor that kept my head on my shoulders when I felt the need to go to pieces sometimes. The dark silver hair hanging around her face bounced slightly as she pulled me with shocking strength into her arms.

"Bella!" she exclaimed, squeezing me tightly. "I thought I heard your car horn!"

I smiled as my arms snaked around her, hugging her back. "No, Gran, that was Edward."

"Where is he today?" she asked, pulling away from me, brightening a little. We all know by now that Edward's charm is hard to ignore; my proof is that it even works on sixty-three year old women. "Is he coming?"

I bit my lip. "No."

She frowned at me for the first time, then suddenly realized where we were standing. "Oh, heavens, child! It's raining outside! Come on, come in, it's been awhile."

"It has," I agreed.

I followed her into her warm house—which always managed to smell like sugar cookies, even when Gran wasn't baking—and hung my raincoat up on the pegs sticking out of the wall. She shut the door behind me and motioned for me to follow her into the living room where she gestured to the long, cushioned couch.

"Have a seat, sweetheart, I'll be right out."

I nodded and sat, unable to resist snuggling into the familiar sofa. Gran left the room with a small smile and I closed my eyes, running my hand along the soft cushions. I felt movement on the couch and opened my eyes to see Gran sitting cross-legged on the space next to me. I sat up straighter and I too crossed my legs.

"So, what's new, Bell?" she asked with feeble excitement, not quite able to resist the burning curiosity she felt.

I looked away from her face and stared at a small stain I'd made on the carpet with grape juice when I was ten. "Um, I need help with something, Gran."

"You know I wouldn't say no. What is it?"

I sighed. "You know Edward?"

She snorted. "Of course I know, Edward, dear, he's like my second grandchild!"

I blushed. "Right. Well, um, see…" How the hell do I tell my grandmother that I'm falling in love with my best friend?

"I love you dearly, Bella, but I have a yoga session at eight. I don't have all day."

I glanced at Gran to see her smiling teasingly, her hands folded in her open lap. Gran wasn't the normal grandmother who sat at home cooking and knitting all day. She was an exuberant exerciser and loved traveling, almost to the extreme. Only as of late had she decided she was getting a little too old for three trips out of the country a year and limited herself to one. She had a lot of money saved up in her bank account from when she had sold her great grandma's ugly gold jewelry. Apparently, you couldn't find things like that anymore and they were very expensive.

I sighed again. "Okay, so…things between Edward and I have gotten a little complicated."

She reached out with one of her hands to pat me knee. "Did you break up?"

I felt my face go into total shock mode, the biggest blush coloring my face purple. "Gran," I stuttered when I found my voice, "we were never going out!"

She looked genuinely surprised. "Really? Hmm. It always looked to me like the two of you were a couple, I'm sorry, sweetie. So then, what's the problem?"

The blush never faded. "Well, he's my best friend and I think he's got a crush on one of the new girls at school and—"

"You're jealous?"

I nodded timidly, my throat feeling tight as I fought a surge of memories from Tanya's beautiful smiling face, to the way Edward looked at it.

"I hate her," I finally managed to say tears thick in my voice. I felt angry at myself for being so pathetically weak. "But it isn't because she is _who_ she is, it's because of the way Edward treats her and looks at her. I hate him for making me hate her. I shouldn't hate her, Gran, it's not fair to her, but I can't help it because—"

"Because you want to _be_ her?"

I nodded again, more sharply, thrusting the pain I was feeling away into a corner of my head where I could give into it later. _Just not now,_ I thought. _I can't cry in front of Gran._

Gran smiled knowingly. "You love him, don't you, Isabella?"

I swallowed, the action hurting my constricted throat. "I don't even know if I want to. I just want everything to be the way it was before Tanya came."

"I take it Tanya is this girl whom you hate with such a strong passion?"

"Correct. And you know, even if I wanted to love Edward like I do, I couldn't tell him; it would ruin us, our friendship. I don't want that to happen, Gran; I don't know what to do!"

"Bella," Gran said in a firm voice, "you can't lose your head over this. You need to calm down and think straight, otherwise everything will be out of your control and you'll be even more miserable than you are now. Obviously, you can't help who you love, you're born with it, it becomes a part of you; you just can't _change_ it. So stop trying to push away what you're feeling and embrace it, even if he doesn't return those feelings, otherwise, you're denying part of yourself and it creates more mental stress than any one person can handle.

"Secondly, don't try and space yourself from him. I've seen you two together, Bella, sweetie. You're a part of him just as much as he is a part of you, even if, on the slightly unlikely chance that, he doesn't love you as you do him. Why do you think I thought you two were together?" She paused. "Besides, I want you to bring him here with you next time," she added with a wink.

I laughed shakily, keeping all my arguments locked inside my head. I didn't want to spend the rest of my time with Gran telling her how impossible it was for Edward to love me as insanely, impossibly, and utterly impractically as I loved him. To love me so much it hurt.

Because saying these things aloud would only further break my heart.

*

My thoughts about Edward were forgotten as Gran and I got to talking and catching up. I told her about the latest gossip going around school. I gave her an update on Renée and Phil. During dinner, we started planning something for Christmas in Forks for the neighbors and family (it was a usual thing in Forks, this year, it was Gran's turn to host the party, and she was one of the few people that threw one of the best).

I started to get ready about fifteen minutes to seven. Edward said he would be here to pick me up at seven sharp, and he always stuck to his word. With his driving, though, I was surprised that he wasn't already here.

"I thought you said Edward drove you here?" Gran asked, staring at me curiously as she watched me getting ready—pulling my sweatshirt and boots back on.

"He did." I said. "But he told me he'd be here to pick me up at seven." I said.

"Ahh," she nodded. "Before you go," she said, setting her cup of herbal tea on the coffee table and jumping to her feet with ease, "there's something I want to give you for this year's winter formal." She said.

I blinked, confused. Winter formal was just like any other winter formal, only at Forks, only the high school students were allowed to attend. It was usually held on the last day of school before Christmas break officially started and everyone was required to wear white—I always thought it was to go with the whole winter theme because of snow.

Since freshman year, Alice and Rosalie had taken me shopping and bought me some extravagant white dress. I wasn't even planning on going this year.

Grabbing my hand, Gran pulled me upstairs and into the room that used to be Renée's—at least it was before she ran off with Charlie. Now, she used it as a storage room for all kinds of things.

Boxes and boxes of things were piled up to the ceiling on one side of the room. It smelled strange, and I found my nose wrinkling at the moldy smell. Nonetheless, I followed Gran inside—towards the closest I suspected used to be Renée's.

"It's a fairly new dress. One of the lady's at my church had a granddaughter…the poor thing didn't even get a chance to wear it." Gran said sadly as she pulled me over to stand right in front of the closet. "It's a wedding dress, but I think it would work as a _beautiful _formal gown." She said, brightening slightly as she pulled open the doors.

"I don't know, Gran…" I said wearily. "I wasn't even planning on going to winter formal this year." I admitted, somewhat sheepishly. Gran _loved _watching me go off to the dances held by the school. She loved taking pictures and embarrassing me.

"Nonsense!" she scoffed. "No granddaughter of mine is missing out on any opportunity to win her man!" she said. "From what I hear of this Tanya girl, she doesn't sound _all _that great. At least, nothing compared to you. Mrs. Phelps and I agree on that." She said pointedly.

"You talk about me to your friends!?" I gasped, slightly mollified. The thought of my grandmother talking about my life in general to her friends scared me. What did they say about me? What did they think about me? Oh my God, what if they looked at my baby photos and showed them to _their _grandkids!?

Gran rolled her eyes. "Nothing bad, sweetie," she said, looking through all of the clothes looking for that one special dress. "We just go over some things. Peggy Weber—your friend Angela's grandmother—was a little disappointed when she heard that Edward and that Denali girl might be getting a little smitten. She said to me, 'Nancy, I could have sworn your granddaughter was going out with that nice young fellow. Why, just last weekend, I saw them in the park with their little friends and they looked pretty cozy.'"

I groaned, past mollification. "Oh, Gran!"

She chuckled. "Well, it's true, hun. I see you and Edward around town together all the time and I always think to myself, 'Now don't they make the cutest couple?' And then you pop my bubble by telling me you've never dated." She sighed, shaking her head.

"We're not _going _to date. Edward doesn't see me that way. I've told you that." I said, slightly annoyed.

She clicked her tongue, obviously disappointed before her face broke into a grin so wide I thought her face might split. "Here it is!" she said, pulling a hanger out from inside the closet. And I watched in awe as the beautiful white gown meant for a bride—a queen!—flowed out of the closet.

It was strapless. The corset was embroidered with clear glass beads and glitter, and the skirt was wide, with layers upon layers of tulle fabric covered in glitter. It reminded me of something you saw a princess in a fairytale wearing.

"It's beautiful," I whispered, admiring the handy work of it all.

"Isn't it?" Gran sighed. "The family must have spent a fortune on it. And they gave it to me free of charge. They said it was too much of a reminder of what should have been," she said sadly, shaking her head. "Their granddaughter was around your height and size. They said you should have it."

I shook my head. "I can't wear this. Not to winter formal," I said.

"Of _course _you can!" Gran said, rolling her eyes. "It was _made _for you, honey! And winter formal is the _perfect _time to wear it. You can win your guys' heart with this," she said with a teasing wink.

I rolled my eyes, but before I could argue further, there was a honk outside. Jumping onto the seat by the window, I looked out through the rain streaked glass and saw Edward's silver Volvo sitting in the driveway. "That's my ride," I said, running out of the room and down the stairs.

"Tell Edward I said 'hi,'" Gran said, following me downstairs as I rushed around the room, pulling on my jacket and grabbing my bag. "Bella!" she called just as my hand reached the doorknob.

"Yeah, Gran?" I asked anxiously, turning back to her.

She smiled and pointed to her dark hair with streaks of silver running through it. "Hood, hun."

I pulled up my hood and, grinning at her, waved before running out into the pouring rain, jumping into the front seat of Edward's Volvo.

"Nice visit?" he asked, grinning at me. My heart leapt and I cursed myself internally for being so weak, even after knowing what to expect.

"Definitely," I said, noticing the time on the board. "Wow. When you said seven sharp, you meant it."

He chuckled before speeding out of the driveway and towards my house.

*

I didn't do my homework right away when I got home. I took a nice, long shower first and grabbed myself a bowl of ice cream before I even bothered to look at my backpack.

But I barely even read through the first question when the phone rang. Since it was usually for me, Charlie had given me my own phone up in my room for my birthday a few years back. It was blue—matching the décor of my room nicely (I found out later that it was a suggestion from Esme).

Grabbing the cordless from its charger, I looked at the caller ID before answering. "What's up, Jake?" I asked, swallowing the large ice cream I'd scooped into my mouth.

"You promised a story."

I groaned. "You couldn't have let me be happy for a little longer?"

"You were happy for once?"

I rolled my eyes. "Aren't I usually happy when I get home from a visit with Gran?"

"You saw Gran and you didn't take _me_!?"

I chuckled. "I had her all to myself."

Jake sighed, obviously disappointed. "Well, Gran aside, you want to tell me what's going on?" he asked.

"Um…not really," I admitted.

"You promised!" he said pointedly. "Spill, Bells. And don't even _think _about lying, because we all know you suck at it." He said.

I sighed. There was no way out of it. Either I tell him now, or I tell him at school tomorrow—where there's a full possibility that someone could hear and spread word, or Edward himself could hear…

There was no way I could get away with making something up either. Jake was right, I _sucked _when it came to lying.

"Well…" I launched into details, telling him about when I first realized when I liked Edward as more than just a friend and how I figured that this year was finally going to be my year and how angry I feel whenever I see him with Tanya and how I spend a lot of my time in the crappy bathroom…

"Whoa," Jake said, obviously not expecting that much information. "Um…I really don't know what to say, Bells. I'm…sorry?"

I sighed. "I hate it, Jake! I hate _her_." I whispered, trying as hard as I possibly could to keep the tears in.

Jake sighed too. "I'm sorry, Bella. Really, I am—hey!" he said suddenly. "I have a plan." I could already picture the grin on his face.

I sniffed. "Huh?"

"It's pretty rotten…and if this fails, I don't think Edward would want to speak to either of us ever again, but this is desperate. You want to be with Edward and, even though I hate to admit this, I want to be with Tanya. What if…I dunno, we tried to make them…_jealous_? What if we tried to ruin what they have staring up?" he suggested.

I sighed, twirling a lock of my hair around my finger. "I dunno, Jake. That seems a little brash, don't you think? Besides, they're not even dating or anything."

"Even if they're not, it's worth a shot, right? I see the way he looks at you, Bells. Something about it is just more than friendly. I think, deep down, Edward cares about you like you do about him."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better," I mumbled.

"I'm not!" he said. "Look, just think about it, okay, Bella?"

I hesitated before answering. "Alright, Jake. I'll _think_ about it." I said, heavily emphasizing the 'think'. I wanted to make sure Edward and Tanya didn't end up together, but I didn't want to ruin anything between me and him. "And what is the plan exactly?"

I could hear a smirk in his voice. "Why don't you decide first? Then I'll tell you."

Just then, something knocked against my window. I paused, listening. A pebble flew and hit my window.

"I gotta go," I said, watching as a third pebble flew and hit my window.

"'Kay, night," Jake said before the line went dead.

I half expected a rock to come crashing through my window, but instead, another pebble hit the glass just before I slid it open and leaned out. The cool night air was a bit of a shock, seeing as how the ventilation was keeping my room all warm and toasty.

Edward stood at the bottom of the tree he often used to climb onto my roof to disturb me in the middle of the night for absolutely no apparent reason. He grinned when he saw me, and I felt my heart flutter.

"What are you _doing_?" I hissed, aware of Charlie's heavy snoring in the TV room, just down the stairs. "I have neighbors, you know! Even if Charlie doesn't know, they might see!" I said, as I so often did.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down you're long hair!" Edward called back, completely ignoring me.

"You are _not _climbing up my hair," I said, rolling my eyes.

Edward chuckled before making his way up the tree. I watched in both envy and awe as he moved gracefully up, using each branch to support him before he hopped silently onto the roof, moving towards the window. He pecked me on the forehead (in that usual purely platonic way of his) and hopped into my room.

I rolled my eyes and shut the window. "You seem happy," I noted as I stared at his face. His beautiful, shining face.

He chuckled and pulled me towards him, moving gracefully along my bedroom floor in a waltz. I stumbled as he dragged me around, twirling me before pulling his feet under mine. Suddenly, we were dancing in my room. "Because I _am _happy, silly Bella," he replied, looking absolutely euphoric.

"Um…why?" I asked, somewhat afraid of the answer (in more than one sense). Either my best friend was going insane, or the answer was very, very bad (at least for me).

What I didn't expect was for his answer to hurt me so damn much.

"Because I got the nerve to ask Tanya on a date this weekend. And she said _yes_!"

It suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. I sagged against Edward, my breathing ragged and erratic. My body started to go numb, but the pain hurtled against my heart repeatedly, tearing it away piece by piece as his words echoed in my mind, repeating over and over and over…

_Because I got the nerve to ask Tanya on a date this weekend. And she said yes!_

"Bella? Bella?!" Edward was abruptly hysterical as I went limp. He pulled me over to my bed and lifted me onto it, staring down at me with a worried face. At least, I think it was concerned; I couldn't see anything but the look on his face when he had told me his good news, my death sentence. I wanted to scream, to relieve the agony slamming into my heart, already fractured, now shattered. It was like it would never stop. It was gone, obliterated, so why did it still hurt?

"Bella, answer me! Dammit! What happened?! Can you hear me? _Bella_!"

I couldn't hear him, it was like everything had gone on mute; I couldn't even hear my own heartbeat.

I took a deep breath—or at least, I tried to—and my eyes suddenly focused on his face, so worried, so concerned…and just when I thought my heart couldn't break anymore….

I had to get through this. Tell Edward how happy I was for him and watch him go. Because I couldn't—wouldn't—let myself cry in front of him, and I couldn't lie about what was causing so much misery.

"Wha—what happened?" I asked, my ears coming back into focus as well, trying to go for the whole fainting thing. I'd passed out numerous times in Edward's presence so this wouldn't be any different. My voice had a thick, groggy feel to it, which made it perfect for what I was doing.

"Did you pass out?" Edward asked, still worried.

I brought my hand up to cover my eyes so that he couldn't see the tears welling up. The initial shock of his words was over; the reality was starting to set in.

"I don't know…I'm just…I'm really—really tired," I told him. It took everything I had not to let my voice break.

"Do you need anything?" he pressed. I heard a movement and peeked through my fingers to see him kneeling down by my bed.

"No. Just sleep."

"Do you want me to go?" he asked hesitantly, pausing between each word. It was clear he didn't want to ask this question.

I took another deep breath and nodded. I didn't know that I could hurt further, not after everything else tonight. But as I answered him with the nod and saw his broken expression through my fingers, I no longer felt numb. It felt like I was being, raked, thrust, dragged across a bed of razors. When will the pain end?

"I'll see you in the morning, then," he whispered brokenly, leaning in to kiss my cheek.

I turned my head away from him as my hand came away from my face and stopped his in it's tracks. "No more," I breathed, hoping he couldn't read the agony in my voice.

He didn't answer. He didn't question. I heard a rustle of movement as he stood up, the squeak of my floorboards as he crossed them, and the creak of my window sill as he left.

And then he was gone.

I told myself to hold it together, to just keep functioning for five more minutes. I'd made my decision.

I picked up my phone again and hit the dial button, calling the last person to call my phone. When he picked up, I didn't even answer him with a hello.

"I've decided," I told Jake with a voice that sounded pathetically fierce.

"Already? Geez, I expected a couple of days, knowing you. What helped you out there?" he inquired curiously.

"You'll find out tomorrow," I replied sourly. "Anyways, whatever you're planning in your sick little mind there, I'm ready to hear."

I heard a large Jacob-grin in his voice as he spoke. "You got a minute? It may take a while to explain."

"I'm willing to do anything I need to," I responded.

"Good; we're on the same boat. Here's what I was thinking…"

* * *

**Taylor:** _Muwahahahaha! Cliffy! Nicole and I are sooooo mean, aren't we? xD Anyways, I guess I don't have much to say except that I'm glad we are getting this chapter out much sooner than the last and I hope you guys appreciate that too. It was really sad and heartbreaking and fun to write this chapter. I'm pretty sure Nicole and I had an awesome time creating Bella's Gran. Anyways, as usual, leave a review to tell us how you think we are doing or what you think of the story so far. Our job is to make you cry, and if that's happening, we are doing our job well. Peace out! We'll update soon promise!_

**Nicole:**_ Taylor pretty much said everything I wanted to say. But she basically made up Bella's Gran. I just made up the sick, twisted plot Jacob came up with. And yes, our goal really, truly is to make you guys cry. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it works. Now, I can't promise that our next chapter will be out as quickly as it was, because I'm getting swamped with all kinds of things…that's just a heads up for you guys. Anyway, leave a review!! We love hearing from you!_


	6. The Plan In Action

**Chapter 6:**

**The Plan In Action**

The next morning, I woke up and dressed as usual. My stomach felt as if it were doing back flips as I quickly ran through the plan Jake and I (mostly Jake) came up with last night. I probably shouldn't have been driving under my condition (my hands shook so badly, I felt like I might throw up at any second, and there was an uncontrollable pain in my chest that made it hard to breathe), but I needed some time to myself, to control myself before we let it all fall into place.

_You can do this, Bella, _I told myself as I slipped the key into the ignition and slowly pulled out of the driveway. _It's nothing to worry about, _I thought reassuringly, doing my best to concentrate on _not_ hitting the mailbox—or a cat; Forks had a couple of those wandering around…

_But you're doing this to hurt him, _another voice said quietly.

I frowned just as I managed to pull out of my driveway without any problems (no mailboxes, no cats). "It's for his own good," I muttered reasonably, my brows knitting together as I eased my ancient truck to a stop before the crosswalk before slowly easing up to check the corners. "He deserves someone better than Tanya." I said, my grip on the steering wheel tightening.

I could practically see a mirror image of myself sighing and shaking her head at me, obviously disapproving of my plans. _And you think you're that someone? _

I cringed, the words making the pain in my heart becoming raw once more. "No!" I growled, shaking my head, pulling my truck to a sudden stop. "No, no!" I shouted, my fingers knotting themselves in the roots of my hair. "Get out of my head! Leave me alone!" I said angrily, gasping for air.

Maybe I was going insane. Maybe it was stress-induced insanity? Whatever it was, it made me hear that annoying little voice in my head, but my outburst obviously scared it away—or, something.

Gasping, I took a moment to catch my breath before driving down the road once more, doing my best to abide the speed limit, but at the same time, trying to get to school as quickly as I possibly could. The drive seemed to take so much longer than it used to. I saw Jake in the parking lot, waiting for me. I pulled into the space next to his.

He was grinning from ear to ear as he swung my door open. But the smile dropped and was replaced by a frown, his dark eyes filled with worry. "Are you alright, Bells? You look like you've just seen a ghost…"

"Yeah, fine." I lied, my voice shaking. "I just…um, there was a deer. That's all," I said, grabbing my bag and jumping out, stumbling. Jake's toned arms wrapped around me, steadying me. I smiled up at him appreciatively. "Thanks."

"No problem," he said, still staring at me with that worried look on his face. "Are you sure you're alright? You look really shaken up, Bella." He said.

"No—yeah, I'm fine." I said, stumbling over my words, my thoughts still revolving around that little voice in my head and what it was saying. _But you're doing this to hurt him, _it had said. But I wasn't. I was doing this for him…

_You're doing this for _you_, _the little nagging voice said pointedly.

"Shut up," I growled.

"What?" Jake asked, looking at me, slightly afraid.

I shook my head, running my hands through my hair a couple of times to keep it over my shoulders, hiding my face from his view. "It's nothing." I said, hoping that he couldn't see me blushing. The last thing I needed was for someone to think I was losing my mind—because I wasn't. I was perfectly stable…

At least, I hoped I was.

"Look, Bella," Jake said, running a hand through his hair, "we don't have to do this if you don't want to…"

"No, I want to, Jake." I said—maybe a little _too _quickly. He gave me a doubtful look. I composed myself. "I can handle this. Really, I'll be _fine_. I _want _to do this." I said with a wide smile, hoping that it looked realistic enough.

"Do…what?" the familiar velvety voice said, somewhat hesitantly.

Was it just me, or did he have a knack for showing up when he was least expected?

I turned around, beaming widely at Edward (who was, of course, standing with Tanya), praying that I didn't look fake. "Edward! And Tanya! Hi…" I giggled, pretending to be embarrassed—which came on naturally; the embarrassment, not the giggle (but it seemed pretty realistic to me).

Edward raised an eyebrow, obviously surprised at the change in my mood compared to last night. Plus, I never giggle. "Do what, Bella?" he asked, looking at Jake. I could've sworn his eyes narrowed a bit as he looked between the two of us.

"I…er…" I shifted awkwardly before clearing my throat. "It's…um…important, that's for sure." I said.

"What is it, Bella?" Tanya asked.

_Well, for one, I want to gouge your eyes out…_

"Bella and I are dating." Jake said when I didn't answer after a couple seconds.

Silence fell afterwards. I looked down at my feet, trying to keep them all from seeing how red my face was. Just before glancing down, I could see Edward stiffen, and I could see Tanya shifting awkwardly.

I wasn't sure how long it had been when Edward finally spoke, but it couldn't have been quick enough—at least, that's what I thought. "_What_?" he hissed, and I could tell that he was already _far _past angry.

"Since…" don't stumble, Bella! "Well, it's been going on for a while…" I said quietly, feeling so small and pathetic. _This is so low! _I thought, squeezing my eyes shut, still staring at my feet. "Before he left for Hawaii…"

I was surprised to find that he almost had to force himself to breathe. "And you've…both of you…you've been keeping this a _secret_…?" he sounded angry, and hurt. I wondered if our news had the effect we wanted.

I chanced a glance up at him. I think it was this whole 'secret' thing that hurt him the most. I repressed the urge to scowl. "I'm really sorry, Edward." I said sincerely as Jake wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

He shook his head, avoiding eye contact with either of us before grabbing Tanya's wrist and pulling her off. She cast us a small, apologetic look before hurrying to keep up with Edward.

I sighed, leaning against Jacob's tall frame. "I feel so…_rotten_. No, that's not the right word," I scowled as he turned, leading us towards my locker. "God…maybe we should've approached this better…" I sighed dejectedly.

Jacob shook his head. "No matter how we approached this, Bells, he would've been angry. Did you see the look on his face? The thought of the two of us—two of his best friends—lying to him since the beginning of summer hurt him really bad."

"Well, yeah, obviously," I sighed. "I'd be pissed too if I were him."

It was petty, even selfish, of me to wonder if this would ruin our plans to break up Tanya and Edward.

Jake awkwardly kissed my forehead—his lips were warm and soft, but they didn't feel the way Edward's always had against my skin—and told me he'd see me at lunch, shooing me off towards my locker with a worried look on his face. When I got there, Jasper and Angela were just walking up and both of their faces lit into smiles as they caught site of me. What would they think when they found out Jake and I were 'dating'? What would Emmett and Rosalie say?

Oh my God.

What would _Alice_ say?

With a sigh, I opened my locker, greeting Angela and Jasper with the usual greeting, trying to push everything else out of my mind. Of course, I still had that nagging voice in my head telling me I was acting like the worst possible best friend. Too selfish. I was too selfish; Edward probably did deserve Tanya after what I'd just done to him. She would never hurt anyone like that for her personal gain…would she?

I was horrible.

"Bella? Did you just hear what I said?" Angela asked me kindly.

"Hmm? No. I'm sorry." I focused on her quickly, giving her a small guilty smile, just now realizing I'd been staring into my locker blankly.

"Have you seen Edward yet today? He looked really upset when I was coming in."

Dread settled in the pit of my stomach. "How is he?"

She looked shocked by the intensity of my question. "Um, I haven't talked to him."

My heart squeezed. I was only hurting him; God, what made me do this again? "Oh."

"But maybe you should?" she suggested shyly, patting my shoulder.

I bit my lip and stared at the ground, my eyes stinging. "I don't think he wants to see me right now." _Or ever._

"Why wouldn't he, Bella?" Jasper interjected himself into the conversation, looking confused. "Edward _always_ wants to see you."

"There's been a few complications," I replied, taking a deep breath. "Look, I've got to get to class. I'll see you guys later, okay?"

Jasper nodded with caution.

"Er, okay, Bella," Angela replied looking just. "See you."

They walked away in opposite directions and I closed my locker after grabbing my necessary books. English class. With Tanya _and _Edward.

I felt like crying just thinking about it. I took another deep breath and squared my shoulders, trying to make my walk happy and confident. After all, I was dating Jacob Black…informally and completely platonically, it's true, but he was a sweet guy. I loved him like a brother. I should be ecstatic, euphoric, blissful…

But the only thing I felt as my confident walk turned to a slink on my way to the English room was regret and pain.

*

I think he noticed the second I walked in the room. My eyes were searching for him the second I turned the corner and it was hard to imagine him being okay with the way his back tensed. I could practically see the tendons in his neck standing out.

"So nice of you to arrive, Ms. Swan," Mr. Mason said snippily as I dragged my sorry ass to my seat. Everyone in the room turned to look at me.

Everyone but Edward, that is.

I welcomed the pain I felt as Edward ignored me. I was only getting a fraction of what I deserved.

Kate must have read the look on my face and knew that I wasn't up for talking or whispering or passing notes today. Thank God for that.

_You could always tell him that it's a lie_, that same voice from earlier whispered as Mr. Mason started the lecture back up again. _And tell him what? The truth? _I contradicted, digging my pen too hard into my notebook paper._ It's better to be hurt yourself than to see him like this_, she replied frostily, making me realize that there was a part of me that wasn't just sad and depressed. I was also furiously angry. Maybe at myself.

_I can't do it_, I whispered to her sadly, _I'm not ready._ Was it fair that it felt like I was lying to myself? Maybe the truth was I could do it…just not today.

_Just remember you deserve all the pain your feeling,_ she snapped. I groaned and willed my conscious to disappear. I just wanted to be all alone, and to feel normal again. I wanted to be rid of the jealousy, the heartbreak, the frustration, the anger…

I felt a pair of eyes boring into my face and when I glanced up from my paper, I saw Tanya staring at me. I couldn't understand her expression—angry, yet, at the same time, she looked almost sorry. Was she feeling pity for me? For him? Why was she giving me that look?

To my surprise, she didn't break her gaze as I stared back at her and she jerked her chin once towards Edward, who was sitting rigidly in his seat. I knew I was doing a poor job concealing my misery, I just didn't know that she saw it that much. I assumed she was just looking into it as guilt, but maybe I was wrong.

I shook my head at her, slowly and suddenly jumped in my seat when Mr. Mason snapped my name loudly and abruptly.

"Ms. Swan, Ms. Denali," he hissed, "is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

Despite himself, Edward turned in his seat to look backwards at me. I glanced down at my desk before he could see my face. My miserable face.

"No, sir," Tanya replied sweetly.

"Ms. Swan?" Mr. Mason prompted.

"No," I whispered.

"Very well then; I expect the both of you to stay after class today." He cleared his throat. "Now…where was I?"

I was frightened of what Mr. Mason had to say after class, but Tanya was suffering the consequences too, so at least it was just me. When the bell rang, I picked up my books and mumbled a goodbye to Kate as she left—mostly out of courtesy; I felt bad for ignoring her most of class.

I couldn't help but overhear Tanya and Edward as he rose to leave.

"I'll see you at lunch," he told her softly, his hand going to her cheek. I knew what that tender touch felt like and I wondered, enviously, if it felt the same to her as it did to me.

"Okay. Edward?" she looked troubled, worried, as she watched my best friend's face carefully.

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

He sighed and dropped his hand, though she reached hers out to grab it. "I wish that—." He broke off abruptly as he caught my slow moving steps out of the corner of his eye. His eyes immediately glanced at me and I wished there'd been a way to look away before he could've held my gaze. His emerald eyes—the ones he'd always looked at me with trust and happiness—were full of anger and betrayal.

I bit my lip as I timidly approached. "Edward?"

"I have to go, Tanya," he turned back to the Denali girl, completely ignoring me. "See you soon." I knew that I shouldn't be angry at Edward—he had every right to be furious with me—but as he kissed Tanya's cheek, my cheeks flamed with heat and my lips pressed into an infuriated scowl.

Tanya blushed as he pulled away and stalked past me and out of the room without glancing even once more at my enraged face.

_This is why you're doing this_, I told myself.

"Ms. Swan, Ms. Denali," Mr. Mason called our names and we both stepped up to his desk. "I didn't mean to single the two of you out this morning, but I hope you know that making any sort of communication during a lecture is prohibited in this class."

"Yes, sir," Tanya and I chorused. I resisted the urge to glare at her.

"Since you are new to the school, I will let you pass with a warning, Ms. Denali." He turned to me. "However, Ms. Swan, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to write a thousand words on why distractions in class are bad for your education. You're one of my best students, Ms. Swan, but I've already given you too many warnings the past two years with you and Mr. Cullen. I won't let it happen anymore, do you understand me?"

I nodded silently, staring at the apple on his desk. I knew that apples were a teacher fruit but this was the first time I'd ever seen one on a teacher's desk. Did they all keep apples in their desks? Was it a teacher thing?

"You both are dismissed. Have a good day; I'll see both of you in the morning."

Both of us turned and started walking away from his desk. When we reached the hallway, I was surprised to hear Tanya talk to me. We'd never been alone before; just the two of us. It was awkward and different and I still wanted to rip her perfect blond hair out of her scalp.

"Bella, I think you need to talk to Edward," she said without sliding into the conversation.

"I don't think he wants to talk to me," I replied glumly despite myself.

"Yes he does; you've known Edward far longer than me and even I know by now that he's a stubborn man. He may not want to admit it, but he needs a better explanation from you; you owe him that."

She was right. Dammit. "I know; I just don't know if I can handle that."

"Bull crap," she snorted without amusement. "You're his best friend, Bella. You have no idea how much he talks about you; even when he's angry and wants to forget you, he talks about you. I have to admit, it annoys me."

Was it possible that she hated me in return?

"Listen, Tanya, I appreciate what you're doing but—."

"But what? Bella, I'll be frank, I don't really like you. I know that sounds harsh, but I have reason to not like you. You seem like such a cold, distant person—especially to me—and I honestly can't imagine why Edward likes you so much. But…but I know that you must be good and just on the inside because I know Edward enough to know that he couldn't be friends with anyone but. I just think that you need to talk to him. I've tried, but he doesn't want to hear it from me. He needs to hear it from you and Jake."

Honestly, I was speechless.

She touched my arm with her fingertips. "Bella, I want to be your friend. I know you must be so much fun to be around; I just wish you'd be a little friendlier to me." She sighed. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this."

I really looked at her for the first time since we walked away. "You're not…who I thought you were."

She smiled a little. "I can tell you hate me. I just don't know why."

I grimaced and looked away from her. "I don't want to hate you, Tanya, but it's a little complicated. Maybe things will work out someday?"

"Especially if you talk things over with Edward…" she hinted.

I sighed. She was just as persistent as Jacob. I'd have to tell him that. "I will. He deserves nothing less."

I could hear a smile in her voice. "See? I knew you were a good person."

I looked at her and tried to smile too, but it felt more like an ugly imitation of a happiness I didn't know if I'd ever feel again. "Thanks, Tanya."

"Sure, Bella," she replied.

And just like that, we went our separate ways.

I was alone with Edward for my next class—Government, with Mr. Jefferson. I was almost afraid to go to class, but my conversation with Tanya wouldn't leave me alone—I had to talk to him. Settle this so we can kick this plan into action the _right _way.

_Just breathe, _I told myself as I hurried down the hall to class. I made it to the classroom with just a few minutes to spare. The only seat available was beside Edward.

Damn.

I was kind of hoping to approach this from a different angle.

_Be confident, be strong, _I thought to myself. I repeated that little mantra over and over as I walked towards the desk and took my seat. My mood deflated when he didn't even look over at me—not even a glare. Right now, I would've given anything for at least a _glare_. Maybe then, my stubbornness would kick into gear I would have something to say. But no, I hurt him so much, I couldn't even get a freaking _glare_.

_Glare at me, damn you! _I thought as Mr. Jefferson began the class, droning on about something I didn't care all that much about.

I pulled out my notebook and 'took notes.' Really, I wrote out possible ways to confront Edward and talk to him about this whole messy situation.

_**We wanted to tell you, Edward! We really did, but you have to**_

Definitely not that one. I wrinkled my nose and scribbled it out.

_**Jake and I wanted to lay low for a little while. Because, you know, if we told you guys, what if you reacted wrong**_

That was stupid. I sighed, scribbling that one out.

_**I love you, dammit! I've loved you for as long as I can remember, and you've never even noticed!!!**_

I shuddered. Now, saying _that _would practically be social suicide. That would ruin any chance I had—that is, if I haven't ruined it already.

_You should just stop now, _the little voice in my head said mockingly. _You'll just hurt him if you do this. Drop the act, Bella, _it said.

_Never, _I thought to myself. Though some part of me really, truly did want to stop, the stubborn part of me that wanted to fight overpowered it. Confidence burned alongside my newfound anger and, just as I was about to write a note and ship it off to Edward, Mr. Jefferson interrupted and deflated all the confidence and cooled the anger burning within me—damn.

"…Mr. Cullen, you'll be partnered with…Ms. Swan."

The look Edward gave me was so hurtful and angry that I had to turn away.

But he didn't argue or ask for a switch in partners. Obviously, he wanted to talk, maybe even snap at me and call me some mean profanities I've never heard him say before…not even about people like Lauren Mallory or Jessica Stanley.

Mr. Jefferson finished calling out the names of partners—for what, I have no idea—and allowed us to get in our groups. Everyone moved their desks closer to their partners, some even switched desks. Edward and I stayed where we were, both of us staring at each other.

"Why, Bella?" he asked, the hurt overpowering the anger. "You didn't have to hide it from me…from us. I thought I…I mean, we're still friends, right?" he asked, looking away, staring down at his desk.

If my heart ached when I saw the hurt in his eyes, then I was definitely heartbroken now. "Of course we are, Edward!" I said, reaching forward and placing my hand over his. I saw him stiffen before relaxing. "Jake wanted to say something to you guys, but I told him not to. I was…afraid of how everyone would react," I said slowly.

It hurt to lie to him like this, but I had to. It was part of the plan.

_It's part of the plan, it's part of the plan…_I told myself.

"Bella—" _part of the plan!_

"Hear me out, Edward," I interrupted. _Remember the plan! _I told myself, feeling my resolve about to crack at the intensifying hurt in his eyes. "I was worried that, because we're all friends, you guys wouldn't be happy. I guess I was worried too. What if something happened between Jake and I?"

Oh, God, it hurt to lie to him…

Edward smiled slightly, but he still looked hurt—and I could see a hint of anger gleaming in his eyes. "I understand, Bella," he said after a moment. "But really, you didn't have to lie to us. We would've understood," he said.

_Believe me, you wouldn't…_

I smiled slightly. "I'm really sorry, Edward." I apologized. "Forgive me?"

He stared at me for a long moment before smiling. "I forgive you," he said.

I grinned, causing him to grin back. "Now…um…what's our project about?"

*

"How'd it go?" Jake asked, meeting me outside of Government and walking me to Trigonometry.

"I apologized, he accepted." I said, feeling rather happy about everything.

"Where is he?"

"Probably meeting Tanya," I shrugged. Though the thought hurt me, I couldn't bring myself to be _too _upset. Besides, if this all worked out well, there was a good chance that he wouldn't be talking to her anymore.

Jacob raised an eyebrow at me, obviously confused about how I was handling the situation. "And you're completely okay with that?" he asked.

I shrugged. "It's not like she'll be around long enough to really bother me." I said.

He rolled his eyes. "You're a weird one, Bella Swan."

I grinned up at him. "But that's why you love me," I said.

He chuckled before casually draping his arm around my shoulder. It was so casual and usual for my guy friends to wrap their arms around my shoulders like that that I almost forgot that he meant to do it in a supposed-to-be-romantic kind of way. Blushing, I wrapped an arm around him, doing my best to ignore all the stares.

"It's going to be a long day," I sighed.

"We'll get through it." He said, kissing my forehead as we stopped by the Trigonometry classroom. "See you in Spanish," he said with a wink before going off to his English class.

With a sigh, I made my way in the classroom and sat by Alice, Edward and Tanya.

Alice shot me daggers. "You lying dirtball!" she hissed, smacking me with her book. "How could you lie to us like that?" she demanded, still hitting me while I tried to fend off her abusive attacks.

"Ow! Alice! _Hey_!" I cried just before Edward snatched the book from her hands.

"How could you lie to us, Bella?" she demanded angrily, tears gleaming in her green eyes—that weren't nearly as green as Edward's, but they had their own kind of beauty to them.

"I—I…" I stuttered, I had no idea what to say. I mean, Alice and Rosalie knew about my crush on Edward. But I didn't have a chance to tell them about our plan…

When I looked up at her, I saw her give me a wink. At least, I think it was a wink, because it was so fast, I almost thought I blinked. But no, I was positive she winked at me—she knew what was going on.

I sighed. "I'm really sorry, Alice…" I said, hoping I sounded sincerely sorry.

"You didn't have to lie to us! We would've understood," she said, pouting.

I shrugged, avoiding eye contact to keep from grinning. She knew what was going on! She wasn't giving me up! "I'm sorry, Alice. Really, I am!" I said, chancing a glance up at her.

She stared at me for a long moment before sighing. "Rosalie's going to kick your A-double-S." She said—she never liked swearing, so sometimes, she spelled them out like that. "You might want to let me talk to her…you know, to soften her up a bit." Alice said, giving me another quick wink.

I nodded, feigning terror—or maybe it was real terror. Gossip spread fast in Forks, and there was no doubt that Rosalie already heard by now. Shit…

Mr. Varner began Trigonometry. Alice and I talked most of the time, but we included Tanya in a lot of our conversation—I had to force myself to keep up the act so she thought it was all good and dandy between us (and I hope she bought it). I was surprised at how well I was going through this entire thing.

Maybe it was my determination…I don't know, but I did it. I lied through Trig…through Spanish and now, the most dreaded time of the day, lunch.

Alice had assured me in the hall on the way to lunch that Rosalie knew, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to put up in act. Jake—even with his naturally tan skin—looked pale, and I, undoubtedly, looked paler. Rose loved being the center of attention. I had no doubt in my mind that she was going to cause a scene.

"You'll be fine," Alice said reassuringly just as Tanya caught up to us. "I talked to Rose, I'm sure she'll keep it all cool and stuff." She said.

"I hope so…" I muttered.

"Hey, guys!" Tanya greeted. We returned to greeting as friendly as we could. "Bella, can I talk to you for a sec?" she asked.

I nodded at Jake and Alice to go ahead without me. Slipping out of Jake's arm, I hung back with Tanya while the two of them walked away, whispering. Jake must've said something stupid, because Alice smacked him and his loud cry of 'ow!' echoed down the hall they turned towards us until they reached the cafeteria.

"What's up, Tanya?" I asked.

She smiled, her blue eyes bright and happy. "I wanted to apologize for snapping at you earlier today." She said.

I couldn't help but look at her funny. "No, you did what you had to do," I said.

"It's just…Edward looked so sad…and it made me so mad that you hurt him like that," she said. "I just don't want to see him hurt like that, you know?"

"Believe me, I know." I sighed. "Look, Tanya, you did what you had to, okay? It's fine. I forgive you," I smiled. I _really _wanted to get to lunch.

"And…"

I repressed a groan and looked up at her. "Yeah?"

"I'd like it if…if maybe, the two of us, we could be friends. Since, you know, I'm kind of dating your best friend now," she flushed at the words—the words that stabbed me directly in the heart. "Oh, and hey! Maybe you and Jake and Edward and I could all double date sometime," she said with a wink. I thought I heard apprehension in her voice, but that easily could have been my imagination.

"Um…yeah!" I said, hoping I sounded happy and trying to keep my voice from cracking. "That would be awesome," I grinned.

Tanya beamed, obviously elated about the prospect of all of us being friends. I hoped that, one day, I had the chance to gouge her eyes out. "Great!" she said. "Come on, I'm starving," she said, pulling me towards the cafeteria.

_Double date…her and Edward…me and Jake…_

Great…

Just _freaking _great.

* * *

**Nicole:** _Haha, I lied. I guess I'm not so busy after all. My driver's training's almost done, and, surprisingly, all my school work is being kept under control—I only forgot to turn in one assignment for Geometry, but screw it. It's just one bad grade. Anyway, I hope you guys liked that chapter. I feel bad because I feel like I didn't give Taylor any take in this chapter at _all_. Sorry, Taylor. Forgive me? Anyway, leave a review. We want to hear what you've got to say!!! _

**Taylor:** _It's fine. I wrote most of chapter 4 so we're even. Anyways, Nicole wrote most of this one. In fact, I think I contributed two and a half out of ten pages. xD She's just a little writing machine. This update happened rather quickly, don't you think? I hope you guys all liked this chapter, and we lightened off the angst a little bit to give you all a chance to catch your breath. I didn't shed a single tear this time, but maybe the beginning was a little heartbreaking…Anyways, I'm infamous for rambling, so I'm just going to end my A/N by saying I love all of our reviewers and I hope to see lots from you all! lol. We'll update ASAP, I promise!_


	7. Green Monster

Chapter 7:

Green Monster

It was a long day. I could tell Jake was starting to feel at loss for things to do or say to me by the time our group was outside heading towards our vehicles. He clumsily and unskillfully asked if I wanted a ride home, but I had to giggle and slap his arm, playfully telling him, "I drove myself to school, _silly_."

I think I saw Edward turn green out of the corner of my eye.

Though, I'm not sure if it was with envy or disgust.

Jake laughed nervously and pulled me into him. For a minute I thought he was going to kiss me on the lips and I panicked, not realizing until then that this dilemma might pop up while executing our plan. But, if he was going for my lips, he changed course last second and pressed his mouth against my cheek, his big hands cradling my head softly as he kissed the other cheek.

I actually blushed as he did this, not because it was something I found too enjoyable, but because of our audience. Edward's gaze seemed to burn the hottest holes into my back because when I turned to look at him, even though he'd accepted my apology, he still looked angry. Maybe this time it was something other than betrayal.

"I will be picking you up in the morning," Jake whispered roughly, his warm breath fanning my face.

"Actually, Jacob, I believe I am taking her to school in the morning."

I turned towards Edward, shocked that he'd actually used Jake's full name—something he did only when he was irritated with our best friend. Jake looked just as surprised at me, but I could read the amusement deep in his eyes and the smile he was just barely repressing.

"Excuse me," he replied a little heatedly in Edward's direction, "but I do believe that _I_ am Bella's boyfriend."

There was the challenge; the one thing that Jake laid out in front of my best friend to argue or support. I felt myself tensing, waiting for his reaction.

Edward glared at him for a second before the anger washed away from his face and he nodded slightly. "And I'm not." God, I would have given anything for him to say something right then and there about how he loved me but never knew it until just now. I sighed. I needed to stop reading romance novels; Edward would never feel like this about me.

"Ugh," Emmett shivered, "that is so weird. Don't you feel skuzzy about kissing her, Jake, man? She's, like, your _sister_."

"Not by blood. Besides, my…feelings…for her…grew…" he struggled to reply, searching for words that made sense and that sounded like something a boyfriend would say.

"Jake, _please_, don't tell me you just used the word _feelings_," Emmett said mockingly. "You're starting to sound like Edward."

Edward chucked an empty pack of gum at his head. "At least I don't go all caveman on women."

Emmett rubbed the spot where the gum hit him. "Hey, the ladies love it."

"I believe _one_ lady loves it," Rosalie interjected, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. "Only I can put up with your crap."

"You know what, guys?" Alice suddenly chirped after breaking out of conversation with Tanya.

All of us looked towards her with wary expressions, each of us undecided about whether her chipper tone meant good news for us or not.

"Don't give me that look," she snapped. "I was just going to suggest dinner at my place tonight. My parent's will be out of town and since it's raining and we can't seem to say goodbye, I think it's an excellent idea!"

"They're going to be out of town _tonight_?" I asked skeptically. Mr. and Mrs. Brandon barely ever do anything on weeknights and it was a Thursday.

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Fine, Ms. Party Pooper, we won't do it tonight. Ooh, but what about tomorrow? We can do a girl slumber party and a boy slumber party and play truth or dare! Oh! And we can paint our nails and watch a bunch of movies and then stay up all night eating ice cream and talking about our—OH! Wait a minute! What if we go out to eat then go to my house!? Or Bella's? She's got such a cozy home and—Bella, you still have that digital camera right? We can take a bunch of pictures and post them on Facebook and a whole bunch of other amazing things! Oh, and then, on Saturday—"

"Someone—anyone—please shut her up before my ears fall off," Emmett begged, clapping his hands over his ears dramatically. Alice shot daggers at him and the rest of us laughed, even though I didn't feel like laughing when Tanya grabbed one of Edward's arms and clung to it while she giggled with us.

I think Jake saw it too and pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me. I found the warmth of his body comforting and I breathed in the scent that was purely him, the scent of my childhood. He wasn't the only one suffering in this situation, I reminded myself. He just wasn't nearly as miserable as me.

"So, I'd better go," I announced, kissing Jake's cheek quickly and he released me again. "I'll talk to you later, Jake."

"Bye, Bella!" Edward called to me, watching me intently with an unreadable expression on his face.

Jake chuckled at Edward's hastiness and kissed my temple. "See you bright and early, Bells."

I smiled and said goodbye to the rest of my friends, feeling Edward's eyes on me the whole time. I wondered what kind of emotional turmoil he was going through.

Charlie surprised me by being home when I got there. He was curled up on the couch, huddled under a blanket while the TV played some old football game on SportsCenter. He told me he wasn't feeling well and when I offered to make him some chicken noodle soup, he smiled a little and told me how much he appreciated that.

As I was stirring the liquid on the stove, the phone rang and I hurried to pick it up so it wouldn't wake Charlie, whose snores I could hear even in the kitchen.

"Hello?" I whispered into the mouthpiece, setting the spoon I was stirring with on the counter next to the sink.

"Bella? Hey, it's Edward."

"Hey Edward," I breathed, my heart leaping into my throat. Jesus, why did it feel like I hadn't heard his voice in an eternity? It was like music to my ears, something beautiful and flawless compared to everyone else's voices whose just sounded scratchy and agitating. I wanted to live on his voice, to be able to be sure of it every morning when I woke up. I wanted it to be the first thing I heard.

"Listen, I'm sorry about earlier," he said ruefully, and I could imagine him running his hand through the hair I itched to touch.

"Earlier?" I asked, caught up in nothing but the sound of his breathing and his voice. I didn't want to remember earlier or think about what was to come. I just wanted now to last.

"Yeah, you know…with Jake and all. I shouldn't have acted that way towards you two. I fully support you and him...as a…as a _couple_. I just wanted you to know that. If you're angry with me, I understand. I'll hang up now."

"No!" I panicked, even stretching my hands out in front of me and waving them around. "No, don't hang up! Let's talk; we never get to talk anymore."

He sounded slightly amused and I could picture perfectly the exact smile on his face. "Alright, I won't hang up. What do you want to talk about?"

"Whatever. How's Carlisle and Esme?"

"They're doing good. I think Esme is concerned since you haven't been over since school started…you know how we used to spend every day after school together. I don't think she likes Tanya much."

_Ooh, really? Why is that_ so_ hard to believe?_ I thought with bitter sarcasm. "She told you that?"

"No, but I can tell. She's short with her, never makes an attempt to get to know her. She absolutely adores Carmen though, so I'm not sure why she's so sour towards my kind-of-girlfriend. You'd think she'd loosen up a bit, especially since I get the feeling Tanya could be around for a while."

I gulped. "Really? Um, how long is a while?" I winced as soon as I said those words, suddenly unsure if I wanted to hear the answer, already knowing that whatever he was going to say was going to fester at my wounded heart.

He sighed happily. "I don't know. She just makes me feel like I'm good enough, like who I am is perfect and that I don't have to change. I love that about her. And she's really sweet and considerate. She doesn't think about other's before herself sometimes, but I can tell she's trying to change that. She's amazing, Bella, you and her could be great friends if you gave her the chance."

I took a deep breath and forced my voice to sound happy even though I was hurting inside. "Well, we sort of made a truce today."

"Really, Bella?" he sounded euphoric suddenly and the pain in my chest was gone for a moment just hearing him so full of joy. "God, if I were there, I think I might kiss you!"

I laughed nervously as my stomach fluttered and my heart pounded hard in my chest. "Don't make any promises," I said in a joking tone, though my words were more firm and true than he could ever imagine.

He chuckled. "Sorry if I'm breaking your heart," he replied in the same teasing tone that I'd used.

"If only you knew," I teased back, wishing that he really did know I wasn't just kidding around.

He chuckled. I heard Charlie snort and mutter something in his sleep. For a moment, I thought he'd heard me. When he mumbled something else and started snoring once more, I realized I was safe.

"How far have you gotten with your poems?" I asked. "We haven't really talked about that." I said.

"Ugh…it's school."

I grinned and laughed under my breath. "But it's _fun_. Personally, I _like _the homework." I said.

"That's because you're a good writer." He replied, and I could sense the smile in his voice. "You have a talent, Bells."

I blushed, grateful that he couldn't see it. But, knowing Edward, he probably knew, after all, he was one my best friends and he knew me so well. "I'm not _that _great." I mumbled.

People often told me that I was a great writer—but I never took them seriously. But always, when Edward complimented me on my writing, I knew that he was being honest with me.

"Bella, you _are _great. Beyond great," he said. "Amazing…"

There was something about the way he said 'amazing' that made me think that maybe, just maybe, he _did _care about me—in more than a purely platonic way.

But as soon as the thought came, I pushed it away. There's no way it would've worked this fast.

Hastily, I went back to stirring Charlie's soup. "So," I said, clearing my throat, "what do you have planned for your upcoming date with Tanya?" I asked, referring to last night, when he told me he got up the courage to ask her out.

"Uh…"

I gasped. "You mean you don't have anything planned?"

Weird…I always thought that Edward would already have something in mind when he asked Tanya out.

"Well…I have an idea." He said. "But…I don't know, I don't think she'll like it all that much."

I snorted, rolling my eyes.

"What?"

"Edward, whatever you have planned, I'm sure Tanya will _love _it." I said reassuringly, despite the jealousy eating me away inside.

"I don't think so…"

"Edward, if she really likes you, she'll care more about the person she's with rather than the place she's at." I said, starting to get annoyed, but I didn't want to lash out at him. I just _really _wanted to switch the topic away from Tanya, but I had to seem casual about this whole thing.

He sighed, and I could just picture him mussing up his hair again. Damn it. "I guess you're right."

"And besides, if all that matters to her is the place, well, you can dump her sorry ass." I hoped I sounded light and teasing. I guess I had, because Edward laughed. "Cheer up, Edward. Relax," I said encouragingly.

"Bella, is my soup ready?" Charlie mumbled groggily.

"Hold on a sec, Dad!" I called before going back to my conversation with Edward. "I have to go," I said apologetically. "But I'll still talk to you later, right?" I asked, hoping that I would.

"Definitely," he replied.

"Bye," I said, grinning before hanging up. Quickly, I turned off the stove and carefully took the pot of soup to Charlie. "Here you go, Dad. Nice and hot," I said.

Charlie smiled and sat up on the couch, taking the handle of the pot and the spoon from me. "Thanks a bunch, Bells." He said, sounding stuffed up.

I nodded, smiling sympathetically down at him. "I'll be up in my room. Holler if you need anything." I said before making my way upstairs.

I nearly screamed when I opened the door and saw Jake lounging on my bed.

I smacked my hand over my mouth before I could muster up the courage to start screaming. After a moment, when my heart managed to get back into its steady rhythmic beating, I walked into my room, closing the door behind me and approaching the bed.

Jake was grinning, obviously amused at my face when I opened the door. He grinned even wider when I sat with my back to him, arms crossed angrily over my chest. I wanted so badly to smack him. "Is that any way to greet your boyfriend?" he asked.

"_Fake _boyfriend, Jake," I said.

"Ouch…" he said, but there was a teasing edge in his voice as he sat up.

"How'd you get in here?" I asked, turning towards him slightly.

He shrugged. "Same way I always do. Through the window," he said, grinning cheekily.

I rolled my eyes. "You and Edward both…" I mumbled before turning to face him completely. "You two have _got _to stop climbing through my window. One of these days, the neighbors are going to see and call Charlie up and say they saw a creeper come through my window."

He chuckled. "No they're not."

"Just use the door like a normal person." I said.

"Maybe I don't want to be a normal person." Jake said, giving me another cheeky grin.

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but smile. That _was _funny…

"So…" he said, suddenly going awkward. "Today…"

"Was…weird." I nodded, blushing. "We need to seriously work on being a couple." I mumbled.

"Well…it's just weird for me. I can only think of you as a sister, Bells." Jake said.

"And you're nothing more than an annoying, yet still funny, brother, Jake." I replied with a cheeky grin of my own.

Dramatically, he placed a hand over his heart, acting hurt. "_Ouch_, Bells. _Ouch_."

I rolled my eyes and punched him on the shoulder—though I was sure it did more damage to me than him.

He chuckled and straightened up. "But I came over here for a reason, Bells. I really want this plan to work." He said, his face going completely serious. "And to do that, we have to make this as realistic as possible."

"I know," I sighed. "I don't know…maybe…ugh, this is so weird. But maybe, we should hold hands a little more. Get a little closer. Stuff like that. I don't know! You've been in more relationships than me!"

Jake's face twisted up, obviously disgusted. "I'd hardly call Leah a relationship."

I winced, remembering just how cold and…downright mean Leah Clearwater was. It was strange. Her brother, Seth, was so sweet and nice. Then you met Leah and you'd find yourself wondering, 'How the hell are they related?'!

"Still…you two had to have been…er…close." I mumbled. But every time I tried to picture Jake and Leah getting intimate and couple-y, I couldn't picture it.

"Well…yeah…I guess."

"So, we'll try again tomorrow, and we'll make it work." I said, determination flashing in my eyes.

Jake stared at me for a moment.

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. "What?"

He shook his head, his dark hair falling into his eyes. "Nothing…it's just…you just looked so determined to make this work. You must really like him then," he said.

I nodded. "With all my heart, Jake," I said without hesitation.

Jake chuckled, mussing up his hair. The messy, windblown look looked downright sexy on Edward. But it looked just as good on Jake, I noticed. "I can't believe I never noticed it before."

"Maybe it's just guys who are oblivious to girls' feelings. But, then again, Alice and Rosalie didn't notice either." I said ruefully.

"So, we'll get this right tomorrow." He said. I nodded. "Okay…so, I guess, I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yup," I grinned.

"Alright. Night, Bells. Oh, before I forget. My dad sent this over for Charlie." He picked up a styrofoam bowl from my nightstand and handed it to me before getting up.

I smiled. "Thanks, Jake. Tell Billy I appreciate it."

Jake nodded and I followed him out the window. He opened it and stopped, turning to me. A weird look crossed his face. I couldn't explain it. But before I could really get a feel for what expression had crossed his face, he'd bent his face towards mine and kissed me light and quick on the lips before quickly pulling back.

I was surprised—but not so much by the kiss. I mean, the kiss was part of the reason—if that's what you could call it…it was so swift, almost like it didn't even happen—but I was mostly surprised by the faintest zap of electricity I felt run through me. I think Jake had felt it too.

This time, when he leaned down to kiss me, I was able to respond. This time, the kiss lasted longer. I lost count after five seconds.

At last, he pulled back, giving me a goofy grin, while I stood there, shocked, dazed and confused.

"Night, Bella." He said again before climbing out the window and jumping onto the tree to get down. I watched as he hopped into his car, and I still stood there as his headlights disappeared around the next corner.

It took me a moment to get my bearings, and even then I wasn't sure whether or not that had really happened.

Slowly, I shut my window and, with Billy's soup—at least, I was pretty sure it was soup—I made my way downstairs to Charlie, who was looking a little better, the pot of soup sitting empty on the coffee table.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie greeted me, not as stuffed up as before. "What's that?" he asked.

"While you were asleep, Jake stopped by and brought some of Billy's soup." I said. It wasn't a complete lie.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "You brought it with you to your room?"

I blushed. "Oh…well, I poured some of the chicken soup I made you into a bowl, and I thought it was mine…I picked up the wrong one on accident." I lied.

He stared at me for a moment before shrugging it off. "Alright," he said. I handed him the bowl. "Thanks, Bells. I hope you told Jake to tell Billy thanks." He said, looking up at me.

I blushed—if possible—even brighter. "I did." I said before hurrying back up to my room before he could ask why I was so red.

God, life must have hated me at this point because it took over an hour to fall asleep that night. If I had thought my life was confusing before—between Edward and Tanya—then I was poorly mistaken. The fact that Jacob Black was the very person I'd grown up with, that he was almost as close to me as Edward was, made me wonder what it was that had me falling so fast and freaking hard for Edward. Obviously, there was something there between Jake and me…something strong and solid, something I could rely on, be comfortable with.

With Edward, there was no telling what beautiful woman would come along in five years and steal him away from me—or from Tanya. He deserved so much more than I thought anyone was capable of giving him, and sometimes I wondered if he knew that.

But, with Jake, everything was good enough. I felt like I could be exactly who I was around him. I didn't have to worry about making a good impression, about how I looked at the time he was with me, what I was talking about. It didn't matter because I was never embarrassed—not really—in his presence. He was just Jake.

I slept fitfully that night but when I woke in the morning, I had my resolve. Jake could never be more than a best friend; I just couldn't look at him that way, even if it did feel nice to be sort-of wanted. I'd have to talk to Jake on the way to school today because there was no chance in hell I'd be able to figure this one out for myself.

I dressed in another one of Alice and Rosalie's stupid frilly things, the end of the blue jean skirt I was wearing riding a little higher than I would've liked. The long-sleeved forest green cashmere sweater hung nicely on my frame and I wore a lacy tank-top underneath to add more character to the outfit. I completed my look with a pair of my favorite boots. Both of my girl friends would be impressed with my fashion skills for the day.

As it turned out, Jake was just as pleasantly surprised. When I got in the car that morning, he gave me a shocked expression but I just laughed it off and threw my bag in the backseat.

"What now?" I asked.

"You don't look like yourself again," he accused lightly, backing out of my driveway.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry, _baby_. I'll dress more like a guy tomorrow."

He chuckled and glanced at me from the corner of his eye, the grin suddenly fading. "Hey…Bella…about last night…"

"Yeah. Wanna explain?" I asked, surprised to find that my voice sounded harsh. I took a deep breath to steady myself. After all, it wasn't his fault I was so confused. On the other hand, he _had_ been the one to kiss me…

He rubbed the back of his neck ruefully as he took a right turn. "I'm sorry for kissing you like that. I just thought…you know…practice or something? I don't know. I'm not so great at all this boyfriend stuff. I wasn't too bad was I?"

I blushed and wished that I could bury myself under my quilt at home. "Would you get what I mean if I said kiss me like that and Edward will be crazy with jealousy?"

He grinned again, wider this time. "_Really_?"

My face got even redder. "Jake, this isn't going to change us, is it?"

He frowned quickly. "I certainly hope not, Bells. You're my best friend who might occasionally share a little lip-lock with me." I gagged and made a face, making him sigh as he turned into the school parking lot. "Very mature, Bella. I told you I liked Tanya. You have nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?" I pressed, biting my lip at the way our lips had zinged.

"Sure, sure," he waved me off, pulling into a space and turning off the ignition. "So, are you ready to make Edward 'crazy with jealousy'?" he quoted me, grinning wickedly.

I sighed but nodded. "Alright, but let's make it quick, okay?"

He winced theatrically and patted his heart. "That hurt right here."

I rolled my eyes for the second time that morning. "You're such a Drama Queen."

He chuckled. "Yup. That sounds like me."

I couldn't help but laugh along as I pulled my bag out of the backseat and opened the passenger door. Jake was there waiting for me by the bumper and just beyond him, I could see Edward and the rest of the crew waiting for us, leaning up against the building. From the way I could feel his eyes trained on me so intensely, I knew Edward was watching, so I decided it was now or never.

I sauntered up to Jake quickly, hoping I looked somewhat sexy as I grabbed a fistful of the front of his shirt and pulled his head down to my level.

"Bella?" Jake questioned, puzzles in his eyes.

"Edward's watching," I whispered, just barely finishing my sentence before gently pressing my lips to his. It surprised me, the intensity between us; that seemed to take off when his lips met mine, almost eagerly. My skin had a slow molten feeling under the surface, like lava moving at snail pace from the spout of a volcano. It wasn't the wildfire burning I felt at Edward's touch, but it was pleasant enough. Desirable even.

Jake pushed me away first, his breathing slightly ragged. "You're cruel for ever agreeing to this, Bells," he told me softly, teasingly, his eyes darting sideways.

Sure enough, Edward was standing up straight, incredulity plain on his face as his fists pressed into his legs. I wondered what he was feeling. Pain? Betrayal again? Jealousy, maybe? Whatever it was, I hoped that he would understand someday, when I explained what exactly the hell Jake and I were doing.

"You're good at this," I murmur to him.

He winked. "You're even better."

I let go of his shirt and shoved his chest away lightly, unable to ignore the hard muscle I felt underneath my hand. "Liar."

He laughed and pulled me into his side.

"Bella," Edward greeted me instantly, tensely, as Jake and I made it to the rest of the group.

Jasper shook his head and stared at Jake with incredulous eyes. "Dude, Em, I thought you were kidding when you said they were dating."

I blushed and Jake's arm tightened around me.

"Nope. I told you I wasn't lying; don't know why you didn't believe me," Emmett grumbled, Rosalie rolling her eyes at his fake-surly behavior.

"Maybe it would help to tell the truth more than once in your life," Jasper pointed out with a grin, earning a genuine glare from Emmett and a laugh from everyone but Edward. He remained staring at me, his eyes transfixed on my face. I was glad that I'd taken time to really do my hair and light dusting of makeup that morning since I had the feeling he might be staring at me like this all day long.

"How was your night, Tanya?" Jake asked her pleasantly. It was the first time I realized that she'd too been staring at him. She looked confused and something that looked like anger mixed in her expression when she chanced a quick glance at me.

"Interesting," she told him and took Edward's arm, making a point to look away from Jake and me. "Hey, Eddie, I forgot my lip gloss in my locker; will you come get it with me?"

Edward looked undecided for a minute, but then turned abruptly towards Tanya and gave her a forced smile that did not touch his wonderful emerald eyes. "Sure, Tanya."

She beamed at him as they walked off and I had to wonder if she knew he hated the nickname, 'Eddie'.

"So," Alice trilled, cutting between Jake and me, slinging her arms over both of our necks. It was funny how far Jake had to lean down for Alice to even be able to accomplish that. "What did you two do last night?"

"We went home and went to bed," I shrugged.

Emmett burst out into loud guffaws, quickly followed by Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, and even Jake. I felt my face burn hot as an open fire as the realization of what I said sunk in and then I really wished I was anywhere but here.

"Er…we went home _separately_ and went to bed _in our own rooms_," I clarified, surely turning an embarrassing shade of purple or some outrageous color like that.

"God, Bella, you're adorable," Rosalie sighed once she swallowed her laughs. "So innocent and sweet and naïve. Such a virgin."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "Yeah, and I'm proud of it. You lost it, what, sophomore year?"

"Yes," she sounded defensive, "but I lost my virginity to the love of my life, my darling Emmett. I wouldn't have it any other way."

Emmett laughed. "Did she ever tell you what really happened?"

Alice and Jasper looked like they were about to pee their pants they were trying so hard not to laugh. Jake and I watched Emmett's face expectantly while Rosalie looked bored, admiring her beautifully manicured nails. We shook our heads.

"I seduced him," Rose blurted out just as Emmett opened his mouth to say the exact same thing.

Jake and I doubled over in laughter, but it wasn't long before the bell was ringing and the two of us parted, rushing to our lockers and then to our first class of the day. When I finally arrived in the English room—breathless with one minute to spare—I noticed Kate looking unusually quiet and subdued at our table. Edward and Tanya weren't yet in the room as I walked over and sat down next to Kate. She barely glanced up at me; didn't even say hi.

"Hi, Kate," I greeted her warily. Usually, she was the first one to talk to me, being the chatter box/badass she was.

"Hi, Bella," she murmured back, her voice sounding weak. A red flag shot up in my head. This wasn't the Kate I knew.

"What's wrong?"

She finally looked up at me, the hair that'd been covering her face falling back to swish around her shoulders. Her right eye was swollen and her bottom lip busted open. One of her cheekbones had a massive bruise and she had a gash across her forehead. I heard myself gasp and one of my hands went to cover hers, wanting more than anything to give this girl whom I barely knew comfort.

"Oh my God, Kate. What the hell happened to your face?"

**Taylor:**_ Yay! Another update! And so quickly too! I really should start updating my stories on my independent account, but I haven't had the time. Anyways, I really like this chapter. I think it's one of my favorites. Mostly because it's nice to see a normal phone conversation between Bella and Edward, also because Bella is a little confused by Jake—who, I have to admit, I love way more in our story here than in New Moon or Eclipse. Back to the point, I hope that all of you like it as much as I do. It was fun to write. And it was a fast update! See how dedicated we are to you guys? Haha. As I always say, 'Fast updates come to those who read and review my stories'. Well, I don't always say that, but I think it sounds cool because it's so fortune cookie like. Crap, sorry, guys I didn't realize how long this A/N was. God, I've got to work on making them shorter. Edward Cullen will star in your dreams if you review! lol. Love you all!_

**Nicole: **_Haha, babble mouth. Anyway, there's nothing that I can say here that Taylor hasn't already said. This chapter was fun, though I only contributed to a couple of the pages. Taylor did most of the work, but that's okay. After all, I pretty much controlled chapter six—and I still feel kind of guilty about that. If you have the time, check out http:www(dot)protagonize(dot)94 and check out the vampire story I'm writing and (hoping) to publish. It's not "Untouchable"—I want to work more on that before I publish it—but it's one called "Blood Kiss". We will get the next chapter out as soon as possible. Lots of love!! Please review!!_


	8. Happily Never After

Chapter 8:

Happily Never After?

"Tanya!" I said, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the back of the group as all of us—my friends and I—made our way towards the cafeteria for lunch. "Do you know what's wrong with Kate?" I asked quietly so none of my friends overheard.

She frowned and shook her head. "No," she said sadly. "She came home late last night. Carmen and Eleazar were freaking out because of it, but Kate ignored them and headed straight for her room. I could hear her crying next door." She explained just as quietly. "Why? Do you know something?" she asked, looking as anxious as I felt.

I shook my head. "No. She looked terrible in English, but she said she would tell me later." I said, remembering how angry Kate had been during first hour.

"I know," Tanya said, running a hand nervously through her long, strawberry blond hair. "She was all bruised up this morning. Carmen wanted her to miss school and take her to the emergency room…but Kate just wanted to come to school…"

I nodded. "Alright…well, I'm gonna go and look for her."

She nodded. "I'll make up something to tell the others." She said. "Good luck," she said with a small smile.

I nodded before turning down a different hall while Tanya hurried to catch up to Edward. If my mind wasn't so wrapped around Kate, maybe I would've been thinking some pretty nasty thoughts. But my mind was too preoccupied with Kate. _And besides, it's not Tanya I hate,_ I reminded myself. _It's the way Edward looks at her._

I wasn't really thinking when I made my way towards the school's crappy bathroom—the one where all the coke-addicts and smokers hang out and skip class—but I just went there on a hunch. If I didn't want anyone to see me, I'd hide in there and lock myself in a stall. Who's to say Kate wouldn't do the same?

With that, I pushed open the door and stepped inside.

And instantly, my nose wrinkled at the horrible smell.

The stale smell of cigarette smoke lingered in the air, but the sound of muffled crying could be heard from one of the stalls. Surprisingly, the senior that I had always managed to run into before was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she was actually in class for a change.

Hesitantly, I went over to the stall I heard sniffling from and knocked lightly on the door. "Kate? Is that you?" I asked, praying that it was Kate in there and not some other student. I got no reply, but the girl inside sniffed again. "Kate? Please. It's me, Bella." I said.

There was a click. The door creaked open.

Sitting on the toilet, her cheeks stained with tears (and her makeup dripping down her pretty face) was Kate, looking completely miserable and hurt.

Instinct kicked on and I rushed forward, throwing my arms around her shoulders and hugging her, feeling the tears well up in my own eyes. Sure, I barely knew anything about her, but I considered Kate one of my friends. She was one of the few people who knew anything about my crush on Edward and understood my coldness towards Tanya, even though Tanya was her sister.

She must've been shocked by my sudden action. Honestly, I was too. But after a moment, Kate's arms slowly snaked around me and she broke down, crying into my shoulder.

"It was so scary, Bella…" she choked out, whimpering like a small child, her shoulders shaking. "I didn't know what to do…there was no one to help me. I tried to fight back, to get him off me…I screamed and screamed…no one heard me…" she started crying again, clutching me as if afraid I might run away like she was something dirty found on the street.

"Oh, Kate…" I whispered, my voice shaking. "Oh, Kate, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I said quietly, hugging her tight as a few tears rolled down my cheeks. This was so wrong. So wrong for some nasty piece of trash to take advantage of my Kate, this beautiful, out-spoken, friendly girl. I felt a flash of anger shoot heat into my mouth but I didn't want to let it show. Kate needed me now.

She pulled back, her lower lip quivering as she tried to hold in the sobs. The look on her face made me start to cry almost as hard as she was and I took her beaten face between my hands, hoping this was comforting to her.

"Wh-where were you?" I asked with a broken voice. Jeesh. I couldn't imagine how I would actually react if I'd been the one in Kate's position if I was acting like this now.

She took a deep breath to steady herself. "I went out to the small shopping store downtown to pick up a new pair of tennis shoes," she started, her voice thick with still unshed tears. "It was a little late for a walk, but I figured I wouldn't take too long picking out a pair. But I was wrong. I searched for an hour and I couldn't find any that I liked, so I decided I'd wait and go to Port Angeles this weekend, so I left to go back home." She inhaled again and closed her eyes. I waited. I wasn't going to push her to explain anything after what she'd experienced.

"And then," she suddenly said, her eyes still closed, voice wavering, "I heard _him_."

I swallowed a sob. "Was it someone you knew?"

She opened her teary eyes, a few drops of water rolling down her cheeks and shook her head. "No. I didn't know him."

"I'm so sorry, Kate," I murmured. I fished around in my bag that I was carrying and pulled out a small package of Kleenex. I ripped it open and handed a couple to Kate, who took them and stepped out of the stall fully, walking up to the mirror to start cleaning off her face.

"I haven't ever…"she choked as she wiped her cheeks. I stood in the mirror next to her and cleaned off my smeared makeup too. "I was waiting…for that someone special," she said with better control. "Now no one will want me." Despite her efforts to keep her face clean, another tear leaked out.

"That's not true, Kate," I told her softly, sniffing. "I…I wish I could do something to help you, though."

She turned to me, looking startled, yet still the terrified little girl she'd been seconds ago. "But you have, Bella." She looked away from me for a moment. "You're my best friend right now."

I stepped forward and hugged her again, trying not to cry. This time, she didn't hesitate and her arms were instantly around me. We didn't say anything for a long moment. I didn't know what to say to her anyway. She'd just been raped the night before, and I was the only one who knew about it. Well, besides Kate and the nasty piece of disgusting, perverted _shit_ that had taken advantage of her.

The lunch hour was quickly slipping by, but my appetite was completely absent. I couldn't imagine Kate being in any mood to eat either, but she probably hadn't eaten since…since last night. She needed some food. Better, she needed comfort food.

I know, I know, comfort food like chocolate bon-bons and cookie dough ice cream wasn't the exact solution to a mess like this. Usually, it just helped with boy problems or an overly stressful day (both of which I'd been experiencing lately), but what Kate needed was a good, long, relaxation with my two favorite people in the whole wide world, Mr. Ben and Mr. Jerry (the men were ice cream gods) and a liter of diet Coke. And I knew just the person with both.

"Kate…" I started warily, pulling away from her. She looked tired and still miserable as I looked at her, but the tears had dried. For now.

"Yeah, Bella?"

"Do you want to come over to my grandma's house with me after school?" I asked shyly. "My grandma's a great listener…if you wanted to tell an adult about what happened. I don't know how much I can help you, where Gran can."

"Does she have any Ben and Jerry's?" Kate asked with a look I couldn't place.

I nodded and grinned at her. It wasn't a full blown, grin, but still. The girl even thought like I did. "Yep."

"I'm in," Kate replied, grinning back. She still looked tired. She still looked scared. She still looked angry. But she was grinning.

Things would be okay again. For both of us. Eventually.

"Do you want to go to lunch? You can sit with us from now on, Kate," I offered as I took a few steps towards the door.

"But Tanya sits with you," she frowned, not moving forwards.

"You don't want to sit with your sister?" Funny. I didn't either. At least, not at this point in time.

"I don't want her to know what happened to me, Bella," she whimpered. "She won't love me anymore; not after hearing about it…"

"Of course Tanya will still love you," I objected. "Don't be absurd."

"Irina wouldn't," she whispered miserably. This I couldn't object to. I didn't know Irina, but I had seen her around. Sure she was beautiful just like her two younger sisters. If you call cold, severe, and just plain mean beautiful, that is. Both Kate and Tanya (despite my shallow negativity towards the latter) radiated friendliness and warmth. I wasn't so sure I could tell Kate Irina wouldn't love her anymore. I didn't know the answer to that.

"Carmen and Eleazar would," I assured her, hedging the Irina issue.

She met my eyes steadily. "I'm not going to tell them, Bella. Any of my family. I'm not ready for that."

I nodded after a brief pause. "Alright. But please come with me to the cafeteria, Kate. You need to eat something."

"I _am_ feeling a little hungry," she admitted.

I smiled at her and grabbed her hand. "Okay." Then, seeing the doubt and misery on her face, I squeezed her hand and added, "Hey, it's all going to be fine, hun. What you may think is the end of the world often turns out not to be. I know I've never been in your situation, but you know I've been going through some pretty tough times lately too. We'll make it through this."

"Together," Kate said, though she sounded unsure of herself. It was weird. Everything I'd ever seen about her had been strong and fearless. Seeing her insecure and broken was hard for me to deal with; it didn't seem natural for her.

"Together," I promised. After another moment of hesitation, she let me pull her out the bathroom doors and towards the lunch room.

For once, Tanya's eyes weren't completely transfixed on Edward. I knew this because the second we walked into the lunch room, I saw her eyes darting around, searching for me or Kate. Before we got too close, she found both of us and a huge wave of relief rolled over her face.

"Hey guys," I announced our arrival as me and Kate approached.

Edward turned around in his seat quickly, looking at me with concern. "Bella? Are you okay? God, Tanya freaked me out when she said you said you'd lost your notebook and had gone back to class to look for it. I went after you and couldn't find you anywhere. I thought you might not be feeling well again. Are you?"

I rolled my eyes as I took a seat next to him, Kate sitting next to me. "I'm fine, Edward. You worry too much."

He met my eyes with a sure gaze. "Bella, you've given me reason to worry within the past couple of days."

"He has a point," Alice pointed out as she took a bite of her cereal bar.

I glared at her before turning back to Edward. "Really. I'm fine. I found my pencil."

"I thought you were looking for your notebook," he said suspiciously, giving me a curious look.

"Did I say pencil? I meant notebook," I laughed nervously.

"I don't care what you say, I'm not going to stop worrying," he mumbled, leaning back in his chair. Tanya caught my eyes and smiled at me.

_Thank you_, she mouthed.

I nodded slightly, giving her a small smile as Kate launched into a conversation with Rosalie.

I saw Edward turn to Tanya and grab her hand, starting to play with her fingers in a way that made my own tingle with jealousy and, in a very real way, made me very sad. My heart felt as if it were being ripped right up the middle from that simple touch.

I took a deep breath and averted my eyes, looking at Kate, who wasn't her usual self, but wasn't the broken girl in the crappy bathroom.

Things would be okay again. For both of us.

Eventually…

*

"This…is your grandmother's house?" Kate asked, staring warily at Gran's house as we climbed out of Jake's car.

I waved goodbye to Jake, grinning widely as I hooked my arm through Kate's and led her up the walkway towards the front door. "I know, it looks like it belongs in some kind of black and white TV show, but it's really nice inside. I promise. And Gran is _nothing _like those ladies on those shows." I promised.

Kate smiled wearily and followed alongside me. "Okay," was all she said as I rang the doorbell.

"Bella! Well, isn't this a surprise…" Gran said, as she swung open the door.

"As long as it's a good surprise." I said with a grin.

Gran smiled and threw her arms around my shoulders in a tight, loving hug. "The visits I get from you are always wonderful surprise, hun." She said, pulling back. "Oh! I see you've brought a friend."

I beamed and stood back so I was standing beside Kate. "Gran, this is my new friend, Kate—Kate, this is my grandmother." I said.

"You can just call me Gran, sweetie. Everyone else does," Gran said with a wink as she shook Kate's hand. "Well, don't just stand out there, girls! Come on inside! I'll make some tea." She said, pulling the two of us inside. "Have a seat in the living room."

We walked into the living room and sat on the couch. Kate's watchful eyes inspected everything in Gran's living room.

At last, she turned to me. "Your grandmother's home…it's very…nice."

I smiled. "Gran's got a great sense of style." I said proudly.

"Was she an interior designer when she was younger?"

"No! Gran just loves experimenting with different things!"

"God, this place is amazing! It's like some kind of sanctuary. Carmen would absolutely _love _this!"

"Thank you," Gran said, smiling proudly as she walked into the living room with a tray of cups and a teapot. "It's my own personal sanctuary. This might sound corny and quite silly, but I feel that a home should be decorated in a way that should be comfortable for its owners."

"It's beautiful!" Kate gushed.

I beamed. Kate and Gran were really hitting it off, and it made me happy. "Hey, Gran, you wouldn't happen to have any cookies on hand, would you?" I asked, turning to her, a little sad that I was going to have to be a downer and ruin the nice atmosphere.

"Uh oh," Gran said, her face dropping. "Where do I need to bury the body?"

Kate and I laughed, despite our sad moods. "It's not that Mrs.—er, Gran." Kate said, shaking her head.

"Well, you're lucky." Gran said with a smile. "I just made a fresh batch of chocolate chips today. I knew I'd be having visitors. I just didn't think it'd be Bella and one of her friends." She said, getting up and making her way into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes and took another sip of my tea. "You don't have to tell her anything if you don't want to." I said. "We can all just sit and talk."

Kate shrugged. "I don't know…"

"Now, honey, I know I don't know you that well," Gran said, bustling back into the living room with a plate of cookies, "and you don't have to tell me anything, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm all ears. And anything you say to me, you can be guaranteed I won't repeat to any of my old lady friends."

I looked at her pointedly. "Told you," I said, taking a fresh, gooey cookie and nibbling on it. It practically melted in my mouth. So warm and moist and chocolate-y!

I love Gran's cookies…

"I don't know…" Kate said wearily, taking a cookie and shoving a small piece of it in her mouth. "I'm just…it makes me feel…gross." Kate said, shivering.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to." Gran said reassuringly. "As a matter of fact, you don't have to tell me anything at all. We can just sit here and eat, if you want." She said with a smile. "What's your name again, dear? I don't even know that much about you," she said with a laugh.

Kate smiled. "I'm Kate. Kate Denali," she said.

Gran nodded. "I suppose Carmen is your mother, then?"

Kate nodded. "How'd you know?"

Gran laughed. "Oh, sweetie, Forks is so small, news travels so fast, it's ridiculous!" she said, taking another sip of tea. "That, and I met your mother while I was out grocery shopping the other day. She seems like a nice woman."

"I remember her saying something about meeting a woman at the store…" Kate said. "I had no idea it was Bella's grandmother."

"So, how was school today?" Gran asked, looking between the two of us.

I shrugged. "Fine, I guess." Kate nodded.

"Was that Jake who dropped you two off?" she asked curiously.

I nodded. "Yeah," I said casually.

"You know, I've been hearing some strange things about the two of you around town…but it's just gossip and I don't listen to gossip."

"What did you hear?" I asked, taking a casual sip of my tea.

"Oh, just silly nonsense things from Kelly Newton about how she heard from her son and that Jessica Stanley girl that the two of you are dating. Actually, everyone's talking about it. It's quite silly, if you ask me." Gran said, shaking her head.

I was silent, taking a long, slow sip of tea.

Gran's face looked caught between confusion and a little hurt. "It's true."

"It just…happened." It was the honest to God truth.

"How long?" she asked.

I shrugged. "A few days," I said.

She nodded, no longer looking too hurt. "Does Charlie know?"

I scratched my head. "Um…no," I mumbled, somewhat embarrassed.

"Well, are you going to tell him?" she asked.

"Um…maybe?"

"What about Renée?" she asked.

"I haven't figured that out yet."

She took a deep breath and set her eyes on me heavily. "What about Edward?"

I knew then that she wasn't talking about if I'd told him or not. She was asking if I was over him. I shook my head, not to answer her question, but to will my mind to get away from him. I didn't' need to think of him right now.

"What's with the twenty questions?" I shot back. "Let's talk about something else," I muttered. I loved my grandmother, but I didn't want to have this conversation in front of Kate.

Gran obliged after a pointed glare in my direction. "So, Kate, how do you like Forks?"

Kate hesitated before forcing a smile. "It's…okay, I guess."

"Things have been a little…hard on her lately," I said with a pause, my hand instantly going to her knee. She looked over at me, that smile still on her face.

"Well," she said, "all things considered, I think the good things outweigh the bad."

I gave her a skeptic look with one eyebrow raised.

She frowned and looked down away from me as I took my hand back. "Well, okay, maybe not by much."

I snorted. Because _so_ many good things had happened to her. Rape and moving to a completely strange town were not on my list of good things. So…yeah. I didn't know what the hell she was talking about that could have been _good_.

Her face was flushed when she met my eyes again. "Okay, maybe not at all. Geez, Bella."

"I get the feeling I'm missing something here," Gran said as she folded her legs underneath her with her ankles crossed.

Kate sighed. "What the hell," she murmured to herself before she blurted out, "I was raped last night." I shot her a look, trying to understand why she wouldn't even try and give it to Gran gently—as Gran was a very gentle person—but Kate just shrugged.

Gran choked on the tea she'd just sipped. I started to get worried after the third hacking cough, but she got control of herself and gave Kate an incredulous look. "Oh my goodness, sweetheart!" She got up off the couch she was sitting on and came to Kate, hugging her swiftly and tightly.

Kate sat there awkwardly while Gran hugged her, but after a few seconds, she slowly let herself relax into my grandmother's embrace. She was even smiling when Gran pulled away.

"Are you okay? Do you know who it was? Who else have you told?"

I held up my hand to stop Gran's babbling. "Give her a chance to answer, Gran."

She let out a big breath. "Oh, right, sorry dear."

Kate shook her head. "Uh, it's okay. I…I haven't told anyone besides you or Bella, and I want it to stay that way."

"But—"

I shot Gran a look that told her to shut up and she did, closing her mouth as she caught my eyes. After a second thought, she opened her mouth to speak again. "I'm very honored that you would choose me to tell it to, Kate."

Kate shrugged. "I figured I needed to tell someone who wouldn't care as much."

"Oh, sweetheart," Gran scolded lightly with a small smile, "I care about all of Bella's friends. Especially the nice boys she brings over."

"Boy_s_? As in plural?" Kate asked me, raising an eyebrow.

It was funny how we seemed to go from a huge ginormous situation, to my crappy little world where I was currently suffering in muted silence. I sighed. "I bring Jake or Edward almost every time I come here."

"I do adore them both, but I have to say, Bells, that I don't think Jake is the best boyfriend for you." Gran said, giving me a sharp look that I immediately interpreted.

I groaned. I didn't want to tell her in front of Kate, but since I was keeping one of her secrets, she could keep one of mine. "Fine. You know what, Gran? Jake and I don't like each other that way. We're still just best friends. We're only pretending to date to make Edward and Tanya jealous."

"Edward and Jacob like the same girl?" Gran asked, raising an eyebrow. Jeesh. Why was everyone giving me that look?

"Yes," I skulked. _Unfortunately_, I added to myself.

"Jacob likes Tanya? Hmmm, that's interesting. I'd bet she'd love to hear about that," Kate murmured.

"Oh no! You can't tell anyone what I just told you," I said hurriedly and turned to Gran to give her a very pointed look. "Same goes for you, you gossiper."

Gran chuckled. "Point taken, Bella."

"You know, Tanya talks about Jake sometimes," Kate said. "She's said things about how hott he is. Hot with two t's means Tanya's interested. Of course, she's given Edward three t's so I don't know how much that helps us."

"Us?" I echoed looking at her with confusion.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Hell yeah, us. I'm going to help you and Jake."

I shook my head. "Really, Kate, you don't have to do that."

She nodded with a smirk. "Really, Bella, I do. I've seen you look at Edward, and, well, I think you deserve him."

I blushed and looked down into my tea cup, now less than half full. "You think so?"

"We know so, Bells," Gran spoke up. I glanced up at her through my eyelashes to see her smiling lovingly at me. I loved my grandma.

Kate continued. "And God, I've seen the way Edward looks at you, Bella. Trust me, his heart is there but his head is not."

My pulse quickened and I looked at her. "Really? Are you sure you're not just saying that? He looks at me differently? What? When? Even around Tanya? Are you really—?"

"Geez, Bella, breathe," Kate chuckled. The sound was so carefree it was hard to believe she'd been abused the night before. But maybe the conversation focusing on my problems was helping her deal with normality a little easier. I was glad to help her any way that I could. "Yeah, he looks at you differently. In fact, I don't think you even know how _often_ he looks at you. It's funny because I don't think Tanya even notices; she always seems distracted. Because you're his best friend, he already loves you. You just need to help him see that he's_ in_ love with you."

Hearing the words did wonderful things to my heart. I heard my breathing speed up a little and I blushed as I detected it. "Er…"

Gran chuckled too. "Bella, sweetie, I can't wait for that winter formal dance. Everything will work out perfectly for you two then."

I appreciated Gran's enthusiasm, but I really doubted it would be that easy. After all, he had to be somewhat attracted to Tanya to want to be with her. I wanted it to be all rainbows and happily ever after, but somehow, I knew that reality wouldn't be that sickly sweet.

"Thanks for the support, guys, but I don't think it's going to work that way," I said, swirling my tea around in my cup.

"We shall see," Gran said and smiled at me.

* * *

"Well, Mr. I Can Do Anything, how was your date?" I asked as I started cutting up the cornbread I'd just taken out of the oven.

He chuckled through the phone line. "It was a nice first official date. Tanya really liked the restaurant and I had to admit, it was pretty cool. I had no idea that Port Angeles could be so…beautiful." He trailed off sounding dreamy and I knew then that without a doubt the date had gone perfectly. Which meant the whole Tanya/Edward thing was officially official. I was screwed.

I gritted my teeth together and set the knife down so that I would be tempted to slice something else. I willed my voice to sound pleasant. "Did you kiss her?"

It was times like this that made being his best friend worthwhile. Hearing his happiness and knowing he'd trust me with anything, it was almost hard for me to be jealous when I knew he was this blissful. "Yeah. I kissed her."

"Well? How was it?" I asked, forcing myself to focus on the positive.

I could almost imagine his blush. "Come on, Bella, are you really going to make me talk about it."

"Edward," I scolded lightly as I stirred the pot roast in the slow cooker and put the lid back on. "I'm your best friend. You're sure as hell going to tell me how your first kiss was." It wasn't until then that I realized Jake had been my first. So much for saving myself for Edward.

"It was a nice kiss, I guess, as far as kisses go," he complied shyly. "But, as much as I enjoyed it, there just wasn't…I don't know, it felt like something was missing. Maybe it was just my imagination though. You know, seeing all those movies and hearing the actors talk about how amazing it is…that zap, that electricity. There was a flicker of something with Tanya, but it just…wasn't strong enough. I don't know."

By this point in time, I was hyperventilating. What he'd described had sounded so much like me and Jake. What would it feel like if I ever got to kiss Edward? Would it be weak too, or would it be strong, burning like wildfire? I knew that it would be the latter because I already felt the warm tingles wherever he touched me. His lips would be like an inferno.

"Bella? Uh…I was wondering how it feels with Jake," he said nervously and I could picture him running his hand through his gorgeous tousled hair.

"I don't think you want to hear it," I told him truthfully. He would not want to hear how it felt when his two best friends kissed. Talk about awkward…

"Hey, that's not fair! If I spill the beans, you have to too. C'mon, Bella. I'm your best friend. You're sure as hell going to tell me how your first kiss was," he responded, chuckling at the fact he was repeating my words.

I scowled and opened the kitchen cabinets to pull out two plates and set them on the counter. "Kissing Jake is…pleasant," I said honestly.

"What's with the hesitation?" he teased. "Jake doesn't have any skill?"

I rolled my eyes. "Nah. He's fine. If anything I'm the one that needs help with that sort of thing."

"Really? You seem like someone who would be in advanced placement with that skill." I could picture his smirk and just how unbelievably sexy it would be, and suddenly, it hit me like a two ton boulder.

The Edward Cullen, baseball superstar Edward Cullen, Mr. Gorgeous Edward Cullen, my best friend Edward Cullen was _flirting_ with_ me_!

'Holy crap' didn't even cover it.

"Bella? You still there?" he asked, worried, breaking through my daze.

I smiled widely, unable to be jealous that Tanya had kissed him. "Yeah. I'm still here." _God knows I'll always be waiting on your doorstep._

"Okay, good. I'm glad." The smile was obvious in his voice.

"Me too," I replied. "Me too."

* * *

**Taylor:** Haha. I had to throw that part in there. The whole flirting thing. Edward and Bella needed a break, and writing about Kate was sort of depressing all in its self. Damn, I've been writing nothing but heartache lately. Well, at least it goes along with the New Moon theme. Which was amazing!!! Don't you agree? Thanks for reading, guys, and Nicole and I will try to make it quicker next time!!! Love ya'll!!!

**Nicole: **Words cannot apologize for how sorry I am for procrastinating my half of the story. Really, guys. I'm sorry. I've been so busy with homework, it's freaking ridiculous. . Next chapter will be started from Edward's POV, because I want to. So, you'll get a kick out of that, I hope!! How was New Moon? I thought it was AH-Mazing. I am officially head-over-heels in love with Taylor Lautner/Jacob Black, but Edward/Rob has the other half of my heart. SWITZERLAND!! Haha, moving on. Leave a review! We love hearing from you guys. Check out the poll on our profile page, what did YOU think about New Moon? Are you a Team Jacob or a Team Edward fan now that you saw it? Toodles!


	9. Uncertainty Sucks

Chapter 9:

Uncertainty Sucks

**EPOV**

Sighing, I fell back against my bed and stared up at the ceiling of my bedroom, letting my cell phone fall out of my hand.

Why were things becoming so much more complicated?

It seemed like only yesterday, things were easy going and there were no complications. It was just Bella, Jake and I hanging out around town and laughing at meaningless things—and I didn't have the urge to pull Bella away from Jake and keep her all to myself. _God, since when did I act like that?_

I should support Bella and Jake. It's what any normal, good friend would do. But, as of recently, I felt myself becoming colder and colder towards Jacob. It wasn't fair to him, because I wasn't mad or upset with who he was. I was furious with Bella for just getting together with him, yet, I couldn't be mad at her. What the hell is all this dating about anyway? If I didn't know any better, I'd say they'd just started dating on a whim. What kind of whim, I still wasn't sure, but all evidence pointed towards that one theory, and I'd made it my goal to figure it out.

They didn't know, but Tanya and I were both, well, watching them more intently than we really intended to. It's like we couldn't control ourselves. After school, before school and even during school. Seeing them together and having it look so easy…well, it hurt. I was isolated from Jake and Bella now with them dating though they might not realize it.

What surprised me was that Tanya wasn't demanding to know what was wrong with me, why I was always so preoccupied. She seemed just as dazed as me, both of us only really there when Bella and Jake were close to us, because we could see what they were doing, hear what they were talking about. It was almost the same old banter I was used to hearing between them.

To tell the truth, my date with Tanya really hadn't been as great as I'd led Bella to believe. It was fun, sure, but the atmosphere held more of the friendship air than romance. Even in the candlelight—though she looked beautiful—I couldn't help but think maybe that I was making some sort of mistake. I kept expecting every time I looked up from my plate to see a pair of warm brown eyes smiling at me, met with uncertain blue ones instead. And seeing Tanya's eyes made a flow of disappointment surge through me. Why, I was still trying to figure out.

And then, the whole issue with me wanting to rip Bella from Jake's side, even though it was none of my business. My mind would just, I don't know, get frustrated to see her with him and enjoying anyone's company but my own. Which was very, very stupid.

Over the summer, Bella and I had become closer than ever, really. And with Jake gone in Hawaii—though both of us missed him terribly—we had a great time with just the two of us. We were the only ones without a boyfriend or a girlfriend, so we often times became each other's unofficial dates during the times Alice dragged us out for something. It was comforting to have her with me, to have us—just the two of us—together like that.

Everything changed when we came back to school. Though I'd been entranced at first look with Tanya, I knew that I was just fooling myself into thinking that I was quickly becoming attached to her in a way that no one else was. It was wrong.

Impossible.

Bella and I connected on a level so deep that it scared me. She knew me inside and out, and she never, ever judged me, always taking me as I am. I'd never had to change for her; being me was good enough.

After all, I must be comfortable enough around her, even now with the new tension, because I'd just caught myself flirting with my best friend. I hoped desperately that she hadn't picked up on it because I really didn't want to have to deal with her curiosity and it was sure to be awkward if I explained. Truth was, I didn't even know what to explain. And it was even worse knowing that I wouldn't take anything I said back, even if I had just made things a million times more confusing.

I sighed again and groaned, running one of my hands across my face. Everything was just too damn complicated. Maybe, if I was lucky, things would just fall into place the way they were meant to be. Maybe if I was lucky, the complications would unfold into one straight line so that everything became simpler, easier to handle.

However, if any of this happened, it would be the first time in my life things would go the way I wanted them to.

I jumped suddenly as my cell phone rang and I chuckled a little at my anxious behavior when I sat up. Though I'd just gotten through talking with her, I couldn't help but hope against all hope that it was Bella who was calling me. But, even though I knew it wouldn't be her—and it wasn't—that inexcusable wave of frustration thundered through me. I hated it.

"Hello, Tanya," I tried to sound bright as I answered the phone. "What's up?"

"Edward?" she asked in a curious tone. "How old is Jake?"

I wondered at where she was coming from with a question about my best friend—and Bella's boyfriend—while I replied. "He's turning seventeen in a few weeks," I told her. "Was there a reason you were asking?"

"Oh, not really. He just seems older than sixteen, that's all," she said distractedly. "Hey, Edward…about last night…"

"Yeah," I laughed nervously and rubbed the back of my neck. "What about it?"

"Do you think we are trying to hard?" she asked me timidly. "Oh! Don't take it the wrong way, please, I really do like you, it's just that—."

"It's just that we are pushing things too fast," I finished for her, in complete agreement. "I think so too."

She let out a breath she was holding. "Oh, good. What are we going to do then?"

I chuckled. "We'll let things play out on their own from now on, okay? Let's see how that rolls."

I heard a smile in her voice. "That's what I like about you Edward. You're just so relaxed. The last boyfriend I had practically jumped on my back when I told him things felt a little weird. He was all, 'Tanya, if it's going to be like that, then I can't be seeing you anymore'. I dumped him first." She sighed.

"You haven't had much luck in that area, have you?" I asked her, feeling sorry for the girl.

"Not really. You've got to be the most decent boyfriend I've ever had."

I smiled at her, but there was no internal reaction at her words. My heart's beat was just as steady, my expression just as calm. It was like she had no real effect on me whatsoever. "Thank you, Tanya. The same goes for you."

"But I'm your first," she objected playfully.

"Exactly," I replied.

She laughed. "Alright. Well, I gotta go. Carmen wants me to get Kate and Irina rounded up for dinner. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay."

"Night, babe." She made a kissing sound.

I chuckled. "'Night, Tanya."

She hung up first and I let the phone drop from my hand. Where was the loss of her voice? Shouldn't I miss talking to her already, if she really was that person whom I wanted to be with?

But, dammit, the only person I could see when I had that thought was Bella.

**BPOV**

"Kate, I know that you don't want anyone to know about Thursday night, but you've seriously got to get checked out for STDs and stuff. Have you bought a pregnancy thingie?" I asked as we both got into my truck. I gunned my engine and we both sat idle in the cab before I pulled out.

"You mean that First Response pregnancy test crap? Yeah, I bought it, but I'm scared to use it," Kate admitted. "I don't want to see the results."

I sighed. "I know, Kate, but it needs to be done. Look, if it makes you feel any better, I can be there when you take the test."

She sighed too. "Okay. How about you come over tomorrow afternoon? No one will be home then."

"That's a Sunday, right?" I asked, trying to figure out where the week went. One day we were at Gran's talking about my boy problems and the next it was a Saturday afternoon and I was taking Kate to a doctor's appointment we had secretly scheduled—to her dismay—over the course of a the last few days. I researched yesterday after Edward had flirted with me (it had taken me well over an hour to remember what my own freaking name was after that) over the phone and found out that if you didn't get in to see a doctor after being raped at all that nasty shit, then you could be in for some serious trouble. If Kate really wanted to keep this whole thing a secret for now, then we needed to take care of it before she became really deep into the crap that the sick scum-ball had dumped on her on Thursday.

"Yeah. Sunday. Why? You don't have any plans do you?"

I shook my head sadly. Edward and I hadn't really made much contact over the week due to my involvement with Kate, and Jake had been sick since Friday afternoon. Mono was some nasty stuff. I was praying that I wouldn't get it either, considering I had kissed him more than once now.

"Now I do."

"Whoop-di-freaking-do. You get to stand outside a bathroom door while I take a freaking pregnancy test. That is one damn fine way to spend the weekend, don't you think?"

I sighed at her sarcasm. Though I was glad Kate was quickly becoming Kate again—setting in as the bruises and cuts from her body faded—her snippy attitude could get under my skin sometimes.

"Really, Kate? Do you have to be so negative?" I demanded softly, steering onto the highway leading to Port Angeles.

She sighed and looked down into her lap. "I'm terrified, Bella. God dammit, I'm scared."

My heart ached for her and I reached out to put one of my hands over top of her fists. "Hey, you'll make it through this."

"That's a freaking huge promise to make, Bella. You're sure you can keep it?" she asked, chewing on her bottom lip nervously.

I shrugged. "I sure as hell can try my hardest, Kate."

"Well, thank you for that, then…" she trailed off.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence. As we neared Port Angeles, I could sense Kate growing tenser and tenser within the front seat. Honestly? I was getting a little tense myself.

What if Kate had contracted an STI of some sort? What was going to happen to her then? Hopefully, they would be able to treat whatever it was. As I pulled into the parking lot of the Port Angeles Hospital, I couldn't help but say a silent prayer that it wasn't anything like AIDS…or anything at all, for that matter.

Slowly, with my arm hooked around Kate's, we walked towards the hospital doors, ready for whatever faced us up ahead. But, no matter what, I was going to be there for Kate. Whether she was pregnant, had an STI, or was going to need some serious therapy to make it through what happened two nights ago.

"Hello, girls," the secretary at the counter greeted us with a warm smile, her blond/brown hair pulled back into a ponytail at the top of her head. She couldn't have been more than thirty. "What can I do for you today?" she asked kindly.

"Hi. Um…we made an appointment for Kate Denali a little while ago?" I said to the receptionist. Kate shifted beside me.

"Oh, yes. I'm going to have you fill this sheet out for me. Just bring it back when you're done, okay?" she said, passing me a clipboard.

"Thanks," Kate and I muttered in unison before making our way towards the waiting area. We sat down in two chairs as far away from people as possible and filled out the form that the receptionist had given us. Fifteen minutes later, I took the clipboard back up to the woman at the counter.

She looked through everything with a thoughtful smile on her face before beaming up at me. "Okay. Someone will be with you shortly." She said before walking away with the clipboard.

With my hands and knees shaking, I moved towards Kate, sitting down beside her. Both of us were anxious—and scared. Beyond scared. We were _terrified_. What if there was nothing but a bunch of bad news?

It felt like we were sitting there, waiting for forever before a woman in purple colored scrubs called Kate's name. We both stood up and, with Kate timidly leading the way, walked up to the nurse. She had dark hair, cut into a cute little bob that reminded me of Alice. Her brown eyes sparkled with tenderness as she led the way down the hall.

After going over the normal procedure—weight check, vision test, blood test, heart rate, etc., etc.—the nurse led the way into a room. Kate sat on the bed. I sat in the seat by her.

"Alright, Kate," the woman said, writing something down in Kate's folder before sitting down in the seat across from us. "I'm going to start by asking you a few general health questions. Okay?" she said with a smile. "And then, after all that, we'll move onto the…difficult topics."

Kate nodded understandingly. "Okay…" she said in a meek little voice.

The nurse nodded. "Okay."

*

It was early afternoon when the doctor who examined Kate—Dr. Sweet—came back with the results.

Dr. Sweet was a nice woman; an elderly woman with fading red hair and warm brown eyes behind purple glasses. She smiled at us as she walked into the room. "Well, I have good news for you, Kate." She said. "You don't have any STIs, but I'd like to see you every month or so for checkups."

Kate and I sighed in relief. She was okay! Kate was going to be okay.

"Now, I know that after a rape, most girls are emotionally scarred. My friend is a psychiatrist, and she does what she does really well. I think she could help you if you ever needed someone to talk to." Dr. Sweet said.

Kate seemed to falter. "I…I don't know…"

Dr. Sweet nodded. "That's understandable. You were just in a traumatizing situation. And talking to a stranger would be uncomfortable, but just think about it. Just in case you change your mind, here's her information. Give her a call and schedule an appointment. Tell her Martha sent you." Dr. Sweet said as she handed Kate a brochure.

Kate nodded as she pulled on her coat. "Thank you, Dr. Sweet."

"Anytime, dear," she said before leaving the room.

The second the door was closed, I threw my arms around Kate, hugging her tight as the tears flooded my vision. "Oh my God, Kate! Thank God you're okay!" I cried.

"I know!" she chirped as we left the hospital. "Oh God, Bells! You have no idea how relieved I am." She said, breathing in heavily.

"So, what about that psychiatrist Dr. Sweet mentioned? Are you going to talk to her, get rid of all of this and make it a part of the past?" I asked as we hopped into my truck.

Kate shrugged. "I…I don't know," she said. "I mean, talking to a stranger seems a little weird. I don't think I'd like to go into her office and flat out talk about my rape. That just…it doesn't seem right."

I shrugged. "Well, yeah…but I'm not exactly the greatest when it comes to mental-slash-emotional help. I mean, look at how screwed up _my _life is." I said.

Kate chuckled and shook her head. "God, I feel like I'm _flying_! I mean, I hurt. But I feel like I'm _flying_!" she said. "Do you mind if I turn on the radio?" she asked.

I shrugged with a large grin plastered on my face. "Go ahead." I said.

She did so, tuning it onto a Port Angeles station that played good music. For the rest of the ride home, we listened to music to fill the silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her reading the brochure Dr. Sweet had given her and I knew things were going to get better. They had to, right? Besides, she was safe for now. She wasn't sick with any nasty diseases that the pervert could have given her.

It was about two o'clock by the time I pulled up to Kate's house that Saturday afternoon. I waited for her to get out as I sat there with the truck in park, but she just stared out the window at her house for a few minutes before turning to me and speaking.

"Bella?" she said, and her voice was thick. I had to choke back my own tears at the sound of her wounded voice. How I wish I could sympathize with what she must be going through.

"Yes, Kate?" I answered, taking one of her hands and holding it firmly between both of mine.

"What if I am pregnant?" she asked, her voice low, her eyes glassy. "What the hell would I tell Carmen and Eleazar? Tanya? Irina? What will they _think_ of me? I can't get an abortion because that's murder, Bella, but I don't want to have a strange man's baby! I never even saw his freaking face!"

I was caught off guard by the amount of hurt and desperation in her voice and face. Half an hour ago, she'd been singing along to the radio happily. Dr. Sweet was right; she needed to talk to someone. She was emotionally scarred big time, and she needed help. I wanted Kate to get that help.

I sniffed back my runny nose as I brought my face closer to Kate whose lower lip was trembling like crazy and silent tears streaked her face. "You know what you're going to do, Kate? You're going to not think about that right now. And when we do get to that bridge…_if _you are pregnant, you will have that baby and put it up for adoption at the Port Angeles Kid's Home. Honey, it's going to be alright, okay? I know you'll get through this; I'll make sure of it."

Kate slid her hand out of mine and threw her arms around me in a hug. "God, Bella, I don't know what I'd do without you," she moaned, shuddering into my shoulder where she buried her face.

I hugged her back enthusiastically, at a loss for words at the moment. After she pulled away, I said, "Your parent's are probably wondering what a strange truck is doing sitting in their driveway right now."

Kate's eyes immediately brightened as she wiped away the last of her tears with the back of her hand. "Will you come in and meet them?"

I hesitated. Holy crap, I did _not_ want to see Tanya.

"Tanya and Irina are out for the day shopping in Port Angeles until dinner," she said as if reading my mind. "It should just be Carmen and Eleazar."

"Er…I don't know, Kate…"

"Oh, please, Bella? Please, please, please, please, _please_?"

I rolled my eyes. "You sound like Alice."

"Is that a yes?" She perked up immediately, her hand flying to the door handle.

I gave her one long look before sighing in defeat. "Yes."

"Woohoo!" she crowed. Wow, the girl had some major mood swings. She'd gone from being on top of the world, to down in the dumps, and back up to euphoria. She was almost as bad as Edward could be. "You're the best, Bella!"

I laughed at her excited expression as she scrambled out of the truck. "So I've been told." Edward and Alice both said things like that all the time. I was too much of a nice girl and a push over to really not be the best, according to them.

"Not often enough!" she laughed out loud as she slammed the truck door. She was so loud that I could hear her inside the cab. "You're the best, Bella!"

I laughed harder and opened my door. God, this girl was nuts. I screamed when she lunged for me and grabbed my arm, yanking me along up the sidewalk to her front door. Without pausing or listening to my complaints, she shoved the door open and walked in.

"I'm back!" she called out, toeing off her shoes. I slipped out of my own boots while keeping balance by steadying my hand against a wall.

"Katie? Is that you?" A woman called from around the corner.

"Yeah!" Kate responded loudly, grabbing my arm again. "C'mon," she muttered to me.

"Don't really have much of a choice, do I?" I mumbled, making her laugh again. I was glad she was in such high spirits for when she was home.

"Carmen," Kate announced as we rounded the corner. "This is my friend, Bella Swan."

Carmen looked up at us as we entered the kitchen. She was very tall and had dark hair that fell way past her shoulders. Her face was rounded with the faintest lines drawing around her eyes, which were the purest, brightest blue I've ever seen, and lips. She was beautiful. Just like all three of her daughters.

"Hi, Mrs. Denali," I greeted her meekly as Kate shoved me forward towards her.

"Call me Carmen, Bella. It's nice to meet you," Carmen smiled at me. "I've heard so much from Tanya and Katie."

I blushed. Kate didn't surprise me, but Tanya talked about me to her _mom_? What the hell? "Yeah? Hmm."

Kate chuckled as if she knew what I was thinking. "Is Eleazar home?"

Carmen shook her head, a huge smile spreading across her face. "I haven't seen him since he left to go to the library earlier. Would you two like to help me make dinner? We're having the Cullens over." Despair pierced through me momentarily.

Kate's eyes widened to the size of saucers, oblivious to my internal and external wince. "Did you get the job?"

"Yes!" Carmen squealed like a three year old, making both me and Kate laugh (a shaky, unsure laugh on my part). "Esme called me this afternoon and told me that she would be honored if I could work with her. We're having a celebratory dinner." She turned to me, still grinning. "And, Bella, you could stay if you wanted to. What did you say your last name was?"

"Swan," I told her, swallowing the emotions building up in me. I couldn't even take it in, everything was spinning so fast.

"Oh! I met your grandmother a week or so ago. She was a wonderful woman. Why don't you give her a call and see if she wants to come out? The more the merrier!"

I managed a smile at her. "Sure. I'm sure she'd love that."

"Yes, yes," Carmen agreed a little absentmindedly. "Now, why don't you girls come on into the kitchen and we'll start on the mashed potatoes, hm?"

*

By the time Gran had arrived at the Denali's, my insides were shaking with so much fear and dread and stupid anticipation that I just wanted to dart out the front door and go hide in my truck cab. I didn't want to fear eating with the Cullens, my extended family, and Denalis together, but that feeling was nearly inevitable. So I was just going to have to grin and bear it when the time came.

The dread was also something I couldn't avoid, seeing as how I would have my most favorite people in the whole wide world falling over my least favorite with mad happiness and euphoria about how Esme and Carmen were going to start working together and how Tanya and Edward were dating and yada, yada, yada…Usually it was a blessing that Esme was so good and advanced in her job. Today it just sucked.

But the stupid anticipation was completely useless and unwanted, yet totally energizing and uplifting. I would get to see Edward again tonight, and that's all I was really looking forward to. Two days could seem like a lot when you were nearly in love with your best friend and you had this irrational need to keep them locked up with you all day. Especially when said best friend could be out doing other things with other people; mostly people I didn't like. Well, just mostly, people's names that started with a_ T_ and ended with an _anya_.

'nough said.

"How's my Bells?" Gran said by way of greeting as Kate opened the front door. She stepped without invitation across the threshold and enveloped me in a hug.

"I'm okay," I replied truthfully, letting go of her as she stepped back and turned to Kate.

"Hi, Gran," Kate said timidly with a small wave as she re-shut the front door.

"Hello, Kate," Gran smiled, opening her arms; an invite that Kate could decline or accept. She did accept, stepping forward and letting Gran's arms wrap around her. "How is everything?"

When Kate pulled away, she was biting her lip. "Can we talk about it later?"

Gran nodded with another smile. "Of course, dear! You and Bella should come over again!"

"How about…tomorrow afternoon?" I proposed, thinking we could go after I stayed for Kate to take her pregnancy test. That way, if she needed adult comfort, she could totally go to Gran for this. If things…well, went badly.

"Anytime," Gran assured us.

"We'll be there," Kate said, still chewing on her lip. She looked at me and I could see a ghost of fear in her eyes, making me sure she was realizing the same thing I did.

"Who's here, Katie?" Carmen asked loudly from the kitchen.

"It's Nancy Higginbotham!" Gran called for herself, chuckling as she winked at me and Kate. "I'd better go see if I can help her with anything."

"Please," Kate begged. "So long as we don't get dragged back in there."

I laughed at her expression and nodded in agreement. "We've been in there all afternoon, Gran," I said. "And it's been a terrifying experience. You know how Charlie looks when he tries to cook?"

Gran nodded.

"That's what Kate looks like."

Gran laughed as she walked out to the kitchen, leaving Kate glaring at me and I was bent over in a fit of chuckles.

"What does Charlie look like when he cooks?" she asked me warily, making me bark out even louder and harder laughter.

"Ah, my dear Kate," I said through my huge grin as my laughing quieted. "That is something better left unsaid."

She stuck her tongue out at me the moment the doorbell rang again. She cast me a quick glance. "That's the rest of them."

I swallowed the nervous butterflies in my stomach, knowing who had to be on the other side of the door. "I know."

"Are you ready to see him?" she whispered.

I thought about it a moment, then shook my head. "No. Wait; yes. Uh, no. Well…maybe?"

Kate laughed and reached out to take the doorknob in her hand. "You've got to make up your mind."

I took a deep breath and plastered on a smile that was almost painful to bear. "Open the door."

After giggling again, Kate twisted the knob and yanked the door open, giving way to show a few of my most favorite people in the world.

"Bella!" Edward said, utterly shocked. His tone of voice almost hurt. "What are you doing here?"

Okay, ouch. But my eyes wandered up his appearance and what I saw made me drool. He had on a pair of dark wash jeans that were perfectly fit and snug on is long, lean legs with a pair of black shoes on (seriously, was he trying to kill me?). He was wearing a black leather type jacket over a white T-shirt and his hair—oh my god, his hair!—was so coppery, messy, and sexy I wanted to pounce on him and run my hands through it. His bright emerald eyes betrayed no sense of disappointment for seeing me and, just when I thought he might be upset that I was ruining his night by being here, stepped forward across the threshold, grabbing me and holding me to his chest fiercely.

"God, Bella," he mumbled, pressing his face into my hair. "It's been so long since I've seen you." He pulled away, leaving me flustered and my body tingly from his touches. "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged, surprised at how much nonchalance I was able to sustain. "I was with Kate today, and when I dropped her back off here, Carmen invited me to stay for dinner. Is that okay with you?"

He nodded eagerly, grinning. "It's so much more than okay, Bella."

"Bella!"

I looked over Edward's shoulder—his black, sexy, leather clad shoulder (you know there's something wrong when you think a shoulder looks sexy)—and saw Esme and Carlisle smiling brightly at me.

"Esme!" I exclaimed, pushing passed Edward as he turned and acknowledged Kate for the first time. "Oh, geez! I missed you!"

She laughed as she hugged me. "I've missed having you around too, dear."

I pulled away from her and smiled at Carlisle. "Hi, Carlisle."

He chuckled and gave me a one-armed, over the shoulder hug. "Hello, Bella. It's been a long time."

"Much too long," I agreed.

"You'll have to come over for dinner with Gran and Charlie soon," Esme insisted.

I nodded. "I'll talk to them about that."

"Excellent. We'd better go and see if Carmen and Eleazar need help with anything," Carlisle smiled at me, taking his wife by the hand and leading her towards where the kitchen was. "Kate," he acknowledged as they passed. And then they were gone, and Edward turned back to me.

"Bella, listen," he started nervously, rubbing his hand on his neck after running it through that goddamn hair. I hated him for looking so delectable; I licked my lips. "I think we need to talk about—"

The doorbell didn't ring this time, but Tanya and Irina came pushing through. Irina—though I had never talked to her—gave me a cold glare, rolled her eyes at Edward and pushed passed us as she headed up the staircase. Tanya, on the other hand, did not ignore us.

"Edward! Bella!" she exclaimed happily, giving me a fleeting hug and kissing Edward on the cheek sweetly. "Oh, gosh, I'm so glad to see you guys! You staying for dinner too, Bella?" she asked.

"Yeah," I mumbled, looking down at my feet.

"That's great!" She grabbed Edward's hand. "Come on, baby, I want to show you something." I know that I'm sick and defensive when I forcibly imagine the double-meaning on my own, because Tanya's voice is so completely laced through with innocence that I feel wrong for thinking she had something so much more dirty in mind.

He smiled at her then looked back at me. "We'll talk later, Bella, okay?"

"Okay," I mumbled again, still staring at the ground, tears stinging my eyes momentarily before I forced them away. Kate touched my shoulder gently once they'd left the room.

"You okay?" she asked with warmth and concern that I'd only ever really heard from Edward or Alice. Kate was quickly becoming one of my best friends.

I sighed and looked up at her. "No, but it's not like that can change right now."

She nodded in understanding and dropped her hand back to her side. I gave her a sad smile before looking off toward where Tanya dragged Edward. It was going to be a very long night, but I was ready for it. After all, in order to win Edward's heart, I knew I had to suffer first; it was really the only way.

Let the torture begin.

*

**Taylor**_**: **__So sorry that it's taken forever to get this chapter out, readers! I've been swamped with, like, a zillion other things and haven't really had time to work it out with Nicole. But now, chapter nine (holy crap! We're on chapter 9 already!?) is finally finished and ready for you, our lovely readers and reviewers, to read it. Hallelujah! Haha. Review if you love us! Or not…if you prefer…x)_

**Nicole:** _Don't say that!! Then they won't review, and we WANT them to review!! Haha, anyway, we're sorry it took so long. But at least we finally got it out to you. Think of this as a Christmas present from us to you. We probably won't have an update out by next week—but if we do, then Hallelujah! Haha, we'll get cracking on the next chapter ASAP. I just started Christmas break today (WOOT!) and I'm sure Taylor will be freed up soon enough too—I hope. Let's hope. I wonder how dramatic the next chapter's going to be (Dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!). Haha. You guys are amazing. Happy—almost—holidays! P.S.: new poll on our profile!! Just out of curiosity…xD_


	10. Dinner with the Denali's

Chapter 10:

Dinner at the Denalis

"What do you think they're talking about?" I asked, casting a weary glance over at the wall that separated Kate and Tanya's room as I sat at the foot of Kate's bed while she flipped through a recent issue of _Seventeen _in her beanbag chair in the closest corner of the room.

Kate shrugged. "Knowing my sister, they might not even be talking…" she said absentmindedly before scoffing at something in the magazine. "Who would want to buy a two hundred dollar pair of _really ugly _shoes?" she said, frowning at the magazine.

I groaned, falling back against her bed, pressing my hands over my eyes as disturbing images of Tanya and Edward doing anything _but _talking in the room next door. They could be doing _anything _in there…Great, Bella. Way to _totally _just freak yourself out for the rest of your life. "I'm getting really fed up with this, Kate."

"Ugh, I know. Celebrities try way too hard sometimes; I mean, look at what Lindsey Lohan wore out to a _red carpet event_. And I thought Irina's clothes were disturbing…" she shuddered and flipped another page in the magazine.

I chucked a pillow at her from the head of her bed. "Not the magazine gossip, dork," I told her when she glared at me. "I'm sick of feeling so miserable."

She threw the pillow back at me, hitting me squarely in the face. She smirked when I brought it away from my head. "So stop."

I scoffed. "It's not that simple." Though, a part of me wondered if it was…

She shrugged. "Well, you haven't actually tried to do anything but catch his attention, Bella. What if you stopped trying so hard? You wouldn't hurt as bad because your efforts wouldn't be over-looked _because_ you were never making any efforts in the first place. See what I'm saying?"

I shook my head after repeating her words to myself. "Not a clue."

She dropped the magazine onto the floor and folded her legs in underneath her, sitting up straighter. "Okay, I'm going to make it as easy as possible. You forget about Edward. Got it?"

My eyes widened and I started picking at a string coming off the hem of my jeans. "You think I should just…let him go?"

She shook her head. "Not let him go…just…stop trying so hard to get him to notice you. Like that sundress you wore to school one day? Total overkill. He's friends with you because he likes you already, Bella. You don't need to dress up like Tanya just to get him to look at you. You already hold a place in his heart that even Tanya will never be able to access."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "How'd you know that was why I wore the dress?"

She grinned widely. "I have people. That, and I can totally read your face when you look at him. It was obvious from the beginning."

I held my breath then blew it out in one big gust, lolling my head back to stare at her ceiling. "You think I can just totally stop freaking out over him?"

"I think you need to try," she admitted. "You are just hurting yourself. Of course, if you are going to continue to 'date' Jake, maybe you should let yourself…feel more."

"With Jake?" I questioned hysterically, looking back at her with doe-eyes.

She shrugged. "Who knows? Jake is almost as close to you as Edward, right? Why is feeling something for him so questionable?"

I groaned and rubbed my face with both hands again. "Ugh. Kate, you're reasoning makes my brain hurt."

She chuckled. "Betcha I could make it explode too."

I frowned at her. "I really don't care to find out."

She laughed a little harder then heaved herself off of the floor. "Hey, think about it Bella. You said you were sick of feeling like crap; I'm just trying to offer my advice, which has been proven to be correct ninety-four point seven percent of the time."

I rolled my eyes as I slid of her bed and onto my feet. "Proven by who?"

"Your mom," Kate snapped with a grin.

I snorted just as the door was thrown open and Edward and Tanya stood in the doorway, his arm around her neck and her arm holding his waist, both smiling widely.

"You two hungry? Carmen called up and said it was time to eat. Didn't you hear her?" Tanya asked as she marched into Kate's room and took my wrist. "Edward, get Kate. We're taking them down."

Edward chuckled but came in. I watched Kate's face as he neared her and her eyes widened, a flash of terror draining her face completely of blood. Edward gently wrapped his hand around her wrist, but she yanked it away immediately; she'd pulled it away so hard that she stumbled backwards and fell back into the beanbag chair. Her eyes were full of tears and she held the wrist Edward had touched close to her chest.

Edward and Tanya stared down at her with wide eyes, obviously trying to figure out what was wrong.

Always the gentleman, Edward knelt down next to her. "Kate? Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head violently, then her teary eyes found mine, and they pleaded with me. Seeing her that way brought me back into my body and I was able to react.

I pulled my hand gently from Tanya's. "Um, she's just…tired. Long day."

Tanya looked at me doubtfully before darting her eyes back to Kate.

"Go," Kate croaked, looking at Edward and Tanya.

They hesitated, but listened to her. Before Edward shut the door behind them—looking guilty as hell—Tanya's eyes begged me for an explanation. I gave a short shake of my head. Maybe I'd get a chance to tell Tanya why I couldn't say anything later…not in great detail of course.

Once they'd left, I sat next to Kate on the floor. "Hey," I said softly. "What happened?"

Her tears spilled over as she whispered. "Oh, Bella. I know Edward wouldn't hurt me; I even like him…he's a great guy. But when he started walking towards me like that, smiling as if he knew something I didn't…I…I saw _him_ again in my head." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I just didn't want to get hurt again."

"You're afraid of men now, aren't you?" I asked her quietly.

She barked out a laugh that held next to no humor. "Hell no, I'm not afraid of men. I'm just…_impartial_ to them…as of right now."

I sighed and touched the fist that was held against her chest in a clench. "You know that this means you have to see a therapist, right, Kate?"

She looked at me as if I'd just slapped her. "I'm not going crazy or losing my mind or anything like that Bella! Why would I need a therapist?!"

"Kate, all men aren't bad. If you reacted that way to _Edward_, I can't imagine how you would act around others. You really need to talk to someone about it. There's only so much I can do."

She looked up at me with glistening eyes. "I'm scared, Bella."

I felt my own eyes swell with the innocence and terror in her voice. I sat next to her on the bean bag chair and wrapped my arms tentatively around her shoulders. "It's going to be okay, Kate," I soothed in a soft voice as she buried her face in my neck and started to sob. "I wish I could promise more than that, but you'll make it through. It's going to be okay."

"How do you know?"she said quietly, her voice filled with tears.

I smiled down at her. "Because you're not going to be alone," I said. "You've got me." I said matter-of-factly with a goofy grin.

She laughed and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, hugging me. "You're the greatest, Bella." She said.

"I know," I said with a shrug, as if it were obvious. "Now, come on. I don't know about you, but I'm _starving_." I said, getting up from the bean bag chair. As if to prove my point, my stomach growled in an embarrassingly loud way.

Despite my embarrassment, I laughed along with Kate as the two of us left her room and headed downstairs for dinner.

*

"So, Bella," Carmen said with a kind smile, interrupting my whispered conversation with Kate (not that it mattered, Kate and I were sitting there like two five year olds giggling over silly things; like…Mr. Greene's new—_really_ ugly—toupee), "tell us a little bit about yourself." She said. "We've heard so much about you from Kate and Tanya."

I blushed, looking down at my plate of spaghetti. _What did they say about me? _I wondered. "I'm…there's really nothing to tell," I mumbled sheepishly, trying to hide my burning face from view.

Gran chuckled. "Don't be so modest, Bella." She said teasingly before turning to address Carmen. I didn't even get a chance to tell her to shut up before she opened her mouth and started talking. "Bella's an amazing writer." She said with a smile. "That's always been a hobby of hers. I remember, she used to take a crayon and write stories on the walls." She chuckled.

I groaned, blushing furiously while everyone else laughed quietly with her. "I was five," I said, stabbing my fork into my spaghetti. "And there wasn't any paper." I said before popping a forkful of spaghetti into my mouth.

Esme smiled at me from across the table. "It was cute, Bella, sweetheart."

"Kate tells us your father's the chief of police here in Forks?" Eleazar—who had showed up just as everyone was getting ready for dinner—said, ending the statement in a question mark.

I nodded. "That's Charlie," I said. "He's a really great dad. At least, he is once you take away how overprotective he can be and the fact that he really just can't cook," I said, which got some laughs from them.

"Oh, but it's a father's job to be overprotective," Eleazar chuckled, looking around at all three of his daughters.

I smiled and looked at Kate from the corner of my eye. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, twirling her spaghetti around her fork. I cleared my throat. "So…how are you guys coming along with your poems for English?" I asked, looking up at Tanya and Edward curiously.

"Ahh," Tanya shrugged, "okay, I guess. I mean, from what I've heard, I'm not as great as you are when it comes to writing." She chuckled.

I blushed. "Oh, don't listen to Gran." I said nervously. "She may look cool now, but she's really a crazy broad who secretly wants to kill you." I said.

Everyone laughed at my strange sense of humor, but Carmen looked wearily at Gran, who shook her head.

"She's kidding," she said.

"I am," I nodded, feeling a little more at ease. "But really," I said, turning back to Tanya, disliking the all the attention directed at me, "I'm not _that _great."

Edward chuckled. "You're being too meek."

I stuck my tongue out childishly. "Am not."

Irina rolled her eyes before excusing herself in an irritated mumble from the table.

I frowned as we all watched her leave before turning back to Carmen and Eleazar, suddenly nervous. "Did I…do something to make her mad?"

Tanya sighed and shook her head. "Ignore her," she said.

Kate nodded. "Irina's just a big ol' sour puss. She doesn't like anybody."

"Be nice," Carmen chided as she moved around to pick up dirty dishes.

"Your mother's right, girls," Eleazar said when Kate and Tanya began to argue about how Irina was—in Kate's words—a 'sour puss'. "So, Carlisle," he said, swiftly changing the subject, "how is work at the hospital coming along?"

Carlisle sighed heavily, and he suddenly sounded very old when he spoke. "It's very stressful, actually. A girl was brought in today with extensive open wounds and multiple bruises. She doesn't know what's happened to her, or even who she _is_ as of right now, but the police are starting to look into her case. She was found lying in the park just north of the shopping center this morning, and she'd been passed out until then. She was actually almost close to dying from her injuries and from hypothermia. The police have reason to believe she's been a victim of rape."

Kate gasped from next to me and I felt her hand fly to my knee under the table, squeezing it in terror. I looked over at her—as did the rest of the table—too see her wide-eyed face pale and horrified. My own heart skipped a terrified beat.

"Katie, baby, what's wrong?" Carmen asked, alarmed, as she dropped her fork.

Kate remained immobile for a few seconds before responding. "N-nothing. That's just s-so _horrible_." She went to pick up her spoon to scoop up a pile of food, but her hand was shaking too hard. It clattered back onto her glass plate after a few moments of wasted effort.

"You sure you're okay, Kate?" Edward asked in concern. I glanced at him to see his face indeed concerned with a touch of guilt. He was still feeling bad about her reaction before we came down for dinner.

"A-actually," she stumbled, getting up from the table, her hands shaking a little. "I t-think I'm j-just going to go to bed. I don't feel too well."

"Do you want me to…?" I began, pushing my chair away from the table as if I was going to follow her.

"N-no, Bella. You stay and enjoy your dinner," she smiled forcibly. "I'm too tired to be any real company an-anyway."

I nodded hesitantly but scooted back in.

"Well, sleep well, Katie girl," Eleazar spoke up, watching his daughter carefully. She tried smiling at him too.

"'Night, Dad. I'll talk to you later, Bella." With that, she turned and scurried away up the stairs. I watched her go, wondering if I should follow her anyways. She was scared and hurt, and quite possibly, her rapist was still at large and he apparently had his eyes on more than just one victim.

"So….Bella," Tanya spoke up, fingering her napkin nervously and bring my attention back to her. "I was wondering if you were doing anything tomorrow?"

I tried to hide my shock as best as I could as I thumbed through my mental calendar. I was going to be with Kate tomorrow when she took her pregnancy test. What did Tanya want from me anyways? "Well, I have some plans until about three in the afternoon, but after that I'm free," I told her, ignoring Edward's glare (whatever that was supposed to mean).

"Bummer," she said, her face falling. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go shopping with Alice and me."

I had to bite back a harsh round of hysteria at the mention of my _mortal enemy_ (I felt like being dramatic today) shopping with _my_ best girl friend (besides poor Kate). "Sorry," I replied, colder than I meant to sound. "But I'm busy."

"What will you be doing, Bella?" Edward questioned, looking suspicious as the adults—including Gran—conversed happily about the success of Carmen's new position and various things from flowers to the green roof of the Martins' house down the street (don't ask; I don't know).

"Um," I hesitated, wondering if exposing my plans to be with Kate would raise any questions. "Stuff."

He rolled his eyes, but I saw an edge of hurt in his eyes, making my chest weigh heavily with guilt. It sucked to lie to your best friend, but wasn't I already lying through my teeth by just sitting next to him? _Kate told you to stop going gaga over him, Bella_, I commanded myself sternly as I watched him eat. It was hard to do though. If he was everything I wanted now, he'd be everything I wanted forever, which is kinda hard to get the hell over.

"Do I have some food on my face or something?" he asked, amusement crossing his face briefly as he glanced over at me.

I blushed and looked away as Tanya laughed. "Ooh, Bella, you're cute."

"She never believes me when I say it," Edward chuckled, his eyes sparkling as I peeked up at him. My breath caught. He could not be flirting with me again….could he?

"If I'm cute, I obviously haven't developed into a woman very well," I stated as calmly as I could, shaking off the look Edward had given me. It was nothing. It _had_ to be nothing.

"Well, you haven't let me get to that part yet," he replied with a grin. My face felt like it had an extreme sunburn.

"Were you going to?" I asked back, my voice almost shaking as I stared at him.

He shrugged, then nodded, his grin turning softer. "What's the use in keeping it a secret from you when everyone else knows how beautiful you are?"

"Edward, if you keep saying things that belong in a romantic comedy, her face is going stay that color red permanently," Tanya scolded, but her voice was light. I was surprised by this playfulness. Wasn't she jealous at all that her boyfriend and my best friend was flirting with me?

Then I realized that she could never be jealous of me if she didn't see me as a threat. If she figured Edward was only saying those things to be nice.

That thought hurt worse than any other.

_Get_ over_ him, Bella._

"Well, it's been a hoot, but it's time for this old Gran to be headin' home," Gran announced loudly, interrupting all conversation as she stood and stretched, her joints popping faintly. She smiled at Carmen and Eleazar. "I really appreciate your invitation for me to have dinner with you tonight. Thank you."

Carmen smiled heartily as Eleazar nodded, both standing to shake Gran's hand. "No problem, Nancy," Carmen said, her voice transparently honest. "It was a pleasure."

Gran turned to Carlisle and Esme, who smiled at her and rose to give hugs.

"It was great to see you again, dear," Esme said blissfully as she held both of Gran's hands and let Carlisle give her a one-armed hug. "I'll call you and we'll make plans sometime."

"I'll be looking forward to that," Gran replied. She turned to me, a big smile on her face. "Bella, Edward? Why don't you come over here and say goodbye to me?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes, but smiled, and stood. Gran enveloped me in her arms and whispered in my ear, "He'll come around, Bella. They always do."

I nodded faintly as I pulled away and let Edward give her a hug.

"You need to come and see me again, Edward," she said, her eyes not-so-subtly examining his more outstanding musculature on his chest and arms. "With Bella."

Edward nodded, smiling crookedly. "Of course, Gran."

She nodded. "Good then. Goodnight, everybody."

Once Gran was gone, everyone else started to parade out the door. I was grabbing my shoes on, wondering if I needed to check on Kate before leaving, when Tanya pulled me into the next room over. It was pitch dark, with the only light coming from around the corner. I couldn't see Tanya very well, but when she spoke I could imagine her expression fairly clearly.

"What's wrong with Kate, Bella?" she begged, her voice desperate.

I sighed, my eyes looking downward, even though it was dark. "I can't tell you."

"Why not? She's my sister; I deserve to know."

"That's exactly it, Tanya. I can't tell you because it's your sister's secret. It's not mine to tell," I told her, my voice sad as I thought about the poor girl's past couple of days. It'd had been a long time since Thursday night, it seemed, and it was still only Saturday. I wondered if time could drag any more slowly or painfully. All of it only seemed to hold agony and heartbreak for both me and Kate, though both for different reasons.

"What can I do, then?" Tanya asked, her hands finding and grasping mine. "I feel so helpless. Whenever I see her, she looks so haunted and upset; her personality did a one-eighty in a matter of a couple of hours. I wish I knew how to make her better. I miss my Kate." She began to sob quietly.

God, it was awkward. I was never too good with tears in the first place, but seeing Tanya cry like this, almost brought on tears of my own—for Kate—as I pulled her into my arms and let Tanya cry into my neck. I wasn't going to deny her comfort about someone we both cared for, even if she was my mortal enemy.

"Maybe you should try talking to her," I whispered into her ear as her sobbing continued. I felt my shirt getting wet, but I ignored it.

"You think?" she sniffed, pulling away from me.

I nodded, then remembered she couldn't see me. "Yeah, I—."

"Bella?" Edward called my name in question.

I sighed and turned to walk back around the corner to find him when Tanya grabbed my hand and walked out with me.

"Bella, you know that I trust you more than anyone, right?" she said quietly, as she rushed to dry her eyes with the back of her hand.

I hid my surprise poorly. "I am?"

She gave a short nod. "Yes, you are. And just know that whatever happened to Kate was horrible, because nothing short of it could have changed her so completely. I trust that you are helping her with whatever is going on."

"I am," I told her, repeating myself, with conviction.

"I'm going to talk to her. I'll see you later," she said, releasing my hand and walking away as we rounded the corner. I watched her go up the stairs before Edward came into my view. He smiled when he saw me and my heart gave a forbidden squeeze as he trotted over.

"Hey you," he murmured as he stopped in front of me, his face blissful.

"Hey yourself," I said back, grinning.

"You're not doing anything with Jake tomorrow, are you, Bella?" he asked bluntly, his eyebrows suddenly pulling in and down.

"He has mono, Edward," I reminded him, feeling defensive at his obvious disapproval. His anxious expression disappeared and he became surprised.

"Oh, that's right. Dammit, I forgot all about that. Poor kid," he chuckled. "Maybe I'll stop by and see him tomorrow afternoon. You game?"

I thought a moment. "Around five?"

"We'll make an appointment with Billy," he smiled.

"Sounds good," I replied.

He suddenly stepped closer to me and brought me in for another hug. His arms wrapped around me and he pulled me to his chest with an urgency I hadn't detected anywhere in his stance.

"It's good to be making plans with you, Bella," he whispered to me. "It's been so long since anything has been right between us."

I pulled away from him and smiled. "I know exactly what you're talking about."

He chuckled slightly and ran a hand through his hair for no other reason than to make me drool about his sexiness in that amazing leather jacket, I swear. "Carlisle and Esme are actually waiting for me in the car. I've gotta go. But I'll call you tomorrow."

I nodded as he leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Alright. Bye, Edward."

"Goodbye, Bella."

I sighed once he'd left—after casting another smile at me—and went to thank Carmen and Eleazar for the evening. Once that dirty deed was done, I gave one long look up the staircase, thinking about Kate, before turning and walking out the front door.

***

"Bells? Is that you?" Charlie called from the living room.

I rolled my eyes as I slipped my shoes off. "No, it's your worst nightmare."

"Same thing!" he responded loudly.

He chuckled faintly and I padded out to see him, knowing he was just teasing me. "Where've you been?" he asked, his face not too clouded with anger at my absence as he turned down the volume on the TV. "The food sucks when you're gone."

I laughed and sat down next to him on the couch. "Sorry, Dad. I was over at the Denalis' house tonight. They invited me to stay for dinner since the mother, Carmen, got a new job working with Esme."

"Is that it, then?" he said, his eyes lighting up. "And how are Esme and Carlisle?"

I smiled as I leaned back into the couch. "They're good. Esme was talking about inviting us over for dinner with Gran sometime soon."

Charlie made a show of smacking his lips and rubbing his stomach, making me laugh. "I hope she makes roast beef. That woman sure does know how to make roast beef."

"Sounds like you're in love," I teased him, looking at him with a grin. It felt good to talk to my dad like this. It had been a few days since I'd actually had any real contact with him.

"With Esme?" he asked, looking shocked for a second.

"No," I giggled, "with her cooking."

He chuckled and nodded in agreement. Our conversation ceased for a few minutes and Charlie turned the volume back up. But the real reason I was going to talk to him now had me glued to the couch. I wanted so badly to ask, but I was wondering if I was supposed to know anything about it.

"Dad…" I started slowly and hesitantly.

"What's that, Bell?" he asked absentmindedly, flipping through the channels.

"Is there a rapist in Forks?" I stated, figuring I'd go with bluntness instead of the timid approach. The sooner I got to the point, the sooner I could go upstairs and call Alice and Rose—maybe even make plans with them yet tonight. It'd been a while since I'd spent any time at all with them.

Charlie was so surprised with my question that he dropped the remote and looked over at me. "What gives you that impression, Bella?"

I sighed and started to fiddle with my fingers. "Well, Carlisle was talking about how work was going for him at the hospital today and he mentioned that he'd been with this girl who was brought in early this morning. He said that she'd been found lying in the park and that the police were investigating her case."

He sighed too and slouched a little further down into the couch. "Unfortunately, Bella, he's right. All evidence points towards rape. I was called into the scene as soon as I left the house this morning and the ambulance was picking her up when I got there."

"Do we know who she is?" I asked, swallowing my discomfort. All I could think was, _that could have been Kate_.

Charlie shook his head. "Not that I know of, though we do know that she's about nineteen years of age." He gave me a long look, one that started to show the concern and the overprotective-ness I knew he could unleash. "Bella, I want you to promise me you won't go anywhere alone until we find this guy."

I nodded instantly, shuddering. "Don't worry, Dad. I won't."

"Good," he replied, seeming satisfied with my answer. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

I nodded again and shot up off the couch. "I'm going to be upstairs, alright?"

This time, he nodded at me, picked his can of beer off the coffee table and tipped it back as he downed the remainder of the contents. "Get me one before you go."

I rolled my eyes, but went to the kitchen and got Charlie's beer before heading upstairs. The first thing I did was shut my curtains and turn on my light. I knew I was being paranoid, but I couldn't really help the feeling. I was just reaching for my phone when it rang, making me jump halfway to Mars.

"Jesus," I muttered to myself once my heart calmed. I picked up the receiver and held it to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Bella!"

"Mom!" I cried in surprise.

"Hey, baby," Renee cooed as some noise in the background purred around her. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Mom," I assured her. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, everything is going so great down here. Phil just keeps getting better and better. You know, you really should take a week off of school and come down to visit in a few weeks, Bella. I miss you so much."

I swallowed the thickness in my throat. "I know, Mom, believe me I know. But I can't come. I've made friends with a new girl at school and she needs me," I told her. It wasn't a total lie. Kate really did need me here, and I promised I wouldn't leave her. Plus, Jake was sick and I was so not going to leave Edward alone with Tanya for a week. Ugh. No way.

Renee sighed. "Well, I guess it'll be a while then."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was calling because Phil and I are headed out to Hawaii for a week on account of his team. I won't be able to reach you," she replied, obviously happy, as I recognized the loud sound in the background as it dropped off. They were in an airport terminal.

"Oh," I said, taken off guard. "Well, then, I love you, Mom. You and Phil have lots of fun. And be careful."

She giggled and made a kissing noise through the phone. "Love you too, sweetie. Phil says hi and bye. I gotta go now, okay baby? I'll call you the second I get home."

I nodded, though she couldn't see it. "Okay, Mom." Really, she was dumping this news on me so fast, I wasn't really grasping it. Not like it mattered anyways. I wouldn't see her until Christmas.

"Alright; here we go. Bye, Bella."

"Bye, M—" I sighed as I pulled the phone away from my ear, the dial tone already ringing. It had been obvious Renee hadn't been all that anxious to talk to me. She'd been too excited for her surprise vacation. Though I couldn't blame her; I'd be excited if I was going to a tropical island with my husband.

Suddenly remembering what I had been going to do in the first place, I tightened my fingers around the phone and dialed Alice's number.

Her phone was answered on the first ring.

"Hello?" Jasper asked, sounding slightly breathless. Oh my god. What was Jasper doing on Alice's phone? Better yet, why the hell was he out of breath?

"Jasper?" I asked hesitantly.

"Oh, Bella!" he exclaimed, still out of air.

"Bella?!" I heard Alice squeal distantly. "Gimme the phone!"

I gaped as I heard Jasper chuckle and hand it over to her.

"Alice? What is Jasper doing answering your phone?" I asked her.

"Well, he was closer to the table than I was," she answered simply, but her voice was excited and had the same breathless air that Jasper's had. Oh my god.

I smirked. There was so much to tell her since our last get-together, so much to share between us. And Rosalie. I hadn't talked to them much at all, and I felt awful about it. I had to make up for my absence in their lives, because they were some of my best friends, and I missed them. "Alice, whaddya say we give Rose a call and have a sleepover?"

* * *

**Taylor:** _Oh my god, I'm so sorry that it's been FOREVER since we've updated, but we've been soooooo swamped we barely even get to talk to each other :( I've missed this story and I'm just so glad that we've gotten back to it. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. Alice, Rosalie, and Bella conversation is sure to be in the next one :) Love y'all!_

**Nicole: **_Seriously? I feel like the worst person in the world. I thought for sure we'd update on Christmas, but I got sick and a crap-load of shizz happened and I was so busy, and I had writer's block. And Taylor's got a job and then there's school!! But we're trying uber hard. Anyway, my computer crashed, so updates will probably be even more limited for a little while—at least until me and my dad can fix it. If you guys want to hear about what happened to me while I was away, check out my livejournal account or my piczo blog. Either one would work. Anyway, new poll up! Just out of curiosity…_


	11. Whirlwind

Chapter 11:

Whirlwind

I sighed, drumming my fingers anxiously on the tabletop as I watched the popcorn bag grow in the microwave. I snuck another look at the clock on the wall and cursed myself for being so pathetic. I really shouldn't have called Alice and Rosalie so suddenly like that; I'm sure they both had much more important plans on a Saturday night—but I've seriously missed the two of them and I seriously need some time with the two girls in Forks who know me better than anyone.

Just as I was dumping all the popcorn into a bowl, the doorbell rang. I could hear Alice and Rosalie calling for me to hurry up before the rapist came and took them away. I rolled my eyes (I wonder if I really should've told them that…), but my stomach churned, nonetheless. I couldn't stop picturing Kate—and then the thought of Alice and Rosalie going through that broke my heart.

"Hey!" Alice chirped, hugging me tightly when I opened the door. "We came over as soon as we could, Bells." She said, pulling away so Rose could hug me and the two of them could step inside out of the cold night. I quickly shut, locked, and bolted the door behind them.

"The news is giving you the creeps, too?" Rosalie asked with a shudder as they followed me into the kitchen. "Ooh, popcorn!" she said, picking up a piece from the bowl and popping it into her mouth.

Alice sniffed, taking a couple Skittles and popping them into her mouth. "This is just terrifying. What kind of person does something like that? It's so gross…" she said, shivering.

I nodded, shoving a handful of popcorn into my mouth. "I know." I mumbled, the secret of Kate's weighing down on me heavily. "But let's not talk about that anymore. I'm sure they'll catch him soon. Help me take all this junk to the living room. I've got a box full of movies for us to watch," I said with a grin, picking up a bowl of licorice and candy from last Halloween (that was still surprisingly good).

Grabbing everything that we could, we marched into the living room, closed the blinds and turned off the lights before popping in a DVD.

We started light—watching sappy romance movies and then emedies, talking in between about nothing.

"I absolutely _love _'Titanic,'" Alice said quietly as we watched Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio (Rose and Jack) run for their lives as the R.S.S Titanic began to sink into the Atlantic. "It's so sad, but it's _so _good!" she gushed quietly.

"I had a dream that Emmett and I were on the Titanic once." Rosalie said, staring off into space. "Only, in my dream, I was Jack and he was Rose…" she said.

We were quiet, staring at each other, Rose and Jack's voices in the background.

And suddenly, a picture of Emmett, in a dress, telling Rose that the back of the boat was where the two of them first met flashed in my mind. I couldn't stop laughing, and neither could they.

Tears sprung into our eyes as we leaned against each other, unable to stop picturing Emmett in a dress. Emmett…in a dress!

"It's something he would do!" Alice giggled, munching on a licorice.

"Emmett in a dress…as frightening as it is, I can totally see him parading around Forks in a dress." I chuckled, leaning back against the couch, shoving a handful of Skittles into my mouth.

"I think that's what I'll make him do next Halloween." Rosalie said, wiping the tears out of her eyes as we turned back to the TV and watched the movie. "I'll make him go as that Rose chick. Give him a wig and everything. He'll look pretty sexy, don't you think?" she joked.

Our laughter drowned out the words from the TV. Once it died down, Rose turned to me, a sparkle in her eye.

"Speaking of lost loves, Bella, how's the secret admiring going?" she asked smartly, a wry grin on her face.

I sighed and flung a piece of popcorn at her head which missed her by a miserable mile. "You _suck_. You couldn't let me have one night? _Really_?"

Alice giggled and ate the popcorn that had missed Rose's head. "Aw, Bella, it can't be that bad, can it?"

I harrumphed and made a point to get back in tune with _Titanic_. Both of my girls sighed.

"You know you want to tell us, Bella," Rose taunted, tugging on my hair playfully as I stared pointedly at the TV screen. She continued to yank on the same lock of hair as I continued to ignore her. Soon, Alice joined in by poking my arm.

"Tell us, Bella, tell us," she chanted, her finger jabbing my arm repeatedly. It was okay the first few times, but after about a minute, I could feel that spot becoming sore, a bruise forming in Alice's finger's wake. I was determined to hold out and to make them be the ones that gave up, but after five minutes of continuous poking and pulling, I flung my arms out, making both of them fall onto their backs, giggling.

"Alright, alright!" I exclaimed, rubbing my arm and turning to glare at them. "So what do you want to know?"

"Okay," Alice said excitedly, bouncing back up into a sitting position like a spring board. "So, you're _pretending_ to date Jake, right?"

I sighed and nodded as Rose propped herself up on her elbows.

"To make Edward jealous, correct?" she clarified, peering up at me.

I nodded again.

"But Jake doesn't really like you in that way just as you don't like him in that way. But then…who does he like?" Alice asked, looking thoughtful as she considered it.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not that hard of a guess, Alice."

Rose's eyes widened. "He likes Tanya _too_?"

Alice whistled and leaned back on her arms. "Ooh, now that's what I call drama."

"You four—including Tanya—are weaving yourselves a soap opera," Rosalie announced, looking half-amused. "So, you like Edward who likes Tanya who is the new girl in town. Jacob, Edward's and your best friend, and you are pretending to date each other because you fell in love with Edward and Jake has a thing for Tanya. Am I missing anything?"

"Don't forget the fact that when I called Alice on the phone earlier tonight, I'd interrupted her _alone time_ with a certain Mr. Whitlock," I teased, trying my hardest to turn the attention onto Alice.

It worked. She turned as red as I do when I'm in the sun for more than two hours.

"Bel_la_," she whined.

"_Mary Alice Brandon_!" Rosalie yelled, jumping up off the floor, her face wide with astonishment.

"Shhhh!" I begged. "Charlie's sleeping!"

Rose ignored me and continued on with her loud rampage. "Why the hell didn't you tell me!?"

"Rose," Alice said, shocked by the intensity of Rosalie's voice. "I was gonna tell you, but we just sort of got together tonight. I—"

"_OHMIGOD_, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!" Rose squealed, dropping to her knees and wrapping her arms tightly around Alice's shoulders as I chuckled. Alice had a rueful and relieved expression twisted onto her face as she glared at me over Rose's shoulder. I'd pay for this, I knew.

"Well, at least you're not gonna kill me." Alice chuckled.

Rosalie laughed and pulled back. "And have Jasper come after me? I don't think so." She said. "But, back to Bella's issue."

"Right." Alice said, an evil pixie grin on her face.

I gulped and popped a handful of Skittles into my mouth.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Don't think that'll stop us from getting the answers out of you, Isabella Marie!" she said, wagging her finger in my face in a very intimidating way.

*

The next morning, I was surprised to wake up to the smell of pancakes.

Squinting against the light—or what little light we got in Forks—seeping through the window, I lifted my head up from my pillow and looked around the mess Alice, Rose and I had made in the living room.

Blankets and pillows were scattered all over the place. Bowls were over turned, some of the junk food we'd been eating was scattered around the floor. Rose was buried under a blanket, her blond head covered by a pillow.

I chuckled as I stood up from my makeshift bed and stumbled into the kitchen, stretching the soreness from my joints.

Alice was humming happily as she flipped a pancake off the pan and onto a plate full of pancakes. She stopped humming when she heard me and looked up, smiling so wide I thought her face might split in half.

But then I realized that this was Alice and she usually always smiled like that when she was in a good mood.

"Morning!" she chirped.

"You're up early," I said, yawning as I plopped down into a chair by the table.

She shrugged. "Well, you didn't seem to be getting up any time soon—and I don't trust Charlie to make breakfast. And Rose can't cook unless it's something that can be popped in the microwave." She giggled.

I chuckled as I rested my head on my arms. "How'd you sleep?" I asked.

Alice shrugged. "I was fine…for the most part."

"What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes and turned off the stove before walking over to me with the plate piled high with pancakes and two more under it. "You kept talking in your sleep. It was nearly impossible for Rose or I to get any shut eye." She said.

I blushed as I grabbed a plate and fork and picked off two pancakes from the pile. "What…what did I say?" I asked wearily, buttering my pancakes.

Alice shrugged again. "Oh, you just said Edward's name a couple of times."

I groaned. She laughed. "It's not funny!"

"Of course it is!" she teased.

"Has anyone ever told you two how loud you can be?" Rosalie grumbled as she walked into the kitchen. "Ooh! Yummy, food!" she said, grabbing a plate and fork before plopping into a chair at the table with us.

"We were just talking about how Bella kept us up all night," Alice chuckled.

Rosalie snickered under her breath. I turned a beat red. "Aww, don't be embarrassed, Bella." She said, popping a piece of pancake into her mouth. "It was cute…you know, until it sounded like you were going to die if you didn't have your precious Edward." She said, to which Alice started sniggering.

"It's not funny!" And it wasn't. Even in my sleep I was tortured with thoughts of separation from him. How could they see any humor in that?

"I'm sorry, Bella. It was just one of those you-had-to-be-there moments." Alice said.

"Are you ever going to woman up and tell him?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow at me as she popped another pancake into her mouth.

I sighed. God I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him so bad that it hurt. But I couldn't because rejection would be worse than longing, and I didn't want to go through that. "I can't," I said, staring down at the syrup puddle on top of my pancake. "What if he doesn't like me back like that?" I said, never looking up at them. "And then I'd have made a fool out of myself for telling him how I feel about him and then the two of us would never be friends again." I said with a sigh.

Rosalie sighed and reached for my hand. "Bella, sweetie, I love you to bits and pieces, but seriously? You need to take charge. You make it seem like we're still in the 1800's and we have to keep hinting at the men to make a move. We're in a whole new century, here. Women can make the first move if they want—Emmett and I wouldn't be together if I hadn't taken charge," she said with a wink.

I laughed, remembering how Emmett and Rosalie became one of the hottest couples at Forks High.

"I made the first move with Jasper." Alice declared, and then blushed.

"Ooh! Tell!" Rosalie said, blue eyes sparkling with interest.

Alice looked away. "Oh, er…well, we were doing our homework and everything. You know how I'm in drama class and we're doing this thing with Romeo and Juliet?" we nodded, urging her to continue. She cleared her throat. "Well, we were reading through the lines. And the way he read through them—it was like it came so easy to him. And every word he said was like music…" she sighed, staring at me, but not at me. I got a little weirded out.

"Alice! Tell us how it happened!" Rosalie snapped, snapping her fingers in her face.

She jumped then chuckled nervously. "Oh. What?"

"Tell us!" Rose demanded, starting to get cross.

Alice rolled her eyes but grinned goofily. "Well, we were reading through Romeo and Juliet lines—"

"Yeah, yeah, we heard that part. God, Alice, you're so brain-missing when you're in love."

I laughed to myself as I watched Alice's reaction to Rose's accusation.

"_Anyways_," she said, "it was sort of silly. Um…he was reading lines, talking to Juliet as Romeo, you know? And suddenly I got this idea….He finished up his part and looked to me to start reading with his eyes. And, god, they're just so blue, you know? I could get lost in them."

"_Alice_," Rosalie groaned.

"Sorry, sorry," Alice replied, giggling. "Well, I started to read my lines to him as Juliet…but instead of calling him Romeo, I said his name. He got all quiet when I didn't say anything else and we were just sitting there staring at each other…" she blushed. "He reached over slowly after a while and grabbed my wrist, averting his eyes to look at my hand. Then he kissed it…and I don't know…" she bit her lip, searching for words as me and Rosalie stared at her with open-mouthed smiles. "I asked him if he could do it again…but instead…"

"Oh no he _didn't_!" I exclaimed, eyes wide, as I laughed once. "Jasper Whitlock? Our Jasper?!"

Alice shrugged while Rosalie laughed too. "He brought me in and kissed me for the first time. And then we just kind of exploded."

"Wow," I sighed dreamily, imagining that sort of simplicity with Edward and me. "That's the kind of stuff you only see in movies. You're life is perfect, Alice. I hate you."

She laughed at my mock-bitter expression. "Oh, Bella, you bring your complex issues upon yourself. Edward already loves you…if you could only show him that he's _in_ love with you…"

"But you don't know if he is or not!" I exclaimed.

"Ugh, Bella," Rosalie said reproachfully. "You are so whiny about all of this! What did I tell you last night? Suck it up and frickin' tell him already!"

This was the worst part about Rosalie. If she was annoyed enough at you, she could make you feel like she hated your guts. I grimaced as she lashed out at me and shrunk into my chair, dropping my fork into the syrup on my plate. Great. Just what I needed, sticky fingers.

"I'm sorry, Rose, okay?" I said harshly as I glared at my nearly untouched food and my fork becoming immersed in the thin, brown liquid. "I'm sorry I'm not as brave as you. I'm sorry I'm so whiny. I'm sorry I can't own up to Edward and just 'frickin' tell him already'," I quoted sullenly. I looked up at her and was surprised to see her looking slightly rueful. "But I'm not that strong."

"Well," she said, meeting my gaze. "Have you tried?"

I laughed, my voice slightly angry. "What do _you_ think?"

Suddenly, the phone rang and Alice's hand shot out and picked it up, declaring, "Oh! I'll get it!"

"Hello?" she answered as Rosalie and I kept up our staring contest. We were best friends, really we were, but we could piss each other off easily. Still, we were girls and our personalities were so completely different that it was only natural. But I loved her anyway, and she loved me.

"Oh. Hi Edward!" Alice chirped, a mischievous glint in her eye that I caught when I looked wildly and sharply at her.

"Alice, gimme the phone!" I demanded, my voice slightly hysterical. God, I didn't even want to imagine the damage that would be made if Alice talked to Edward right now in my house in my presence.

She giggled. "What? You want to talk to Bella?"

I stared at her, Rose laughing silently in the seat next to me at my open-mouthed horror.

"Ooh. What did you want to tell her?" she inquired, making Rosalie laugh even harder and my horror grow even deeper. "Fine," she said crossly after a short pause. "You're no fun. Here she is." She extended her hand towards me and rolled her eyes. "'Alice, just give Bella the damn phone'. Ugh, what do you see in him?"

"Shhhh!" I hissed as I took the phone from her hand and pressed it eagerly up against my ear. "Hello?"

"Bella?" Edward answered.

"Hey, Edward," I responded, feeling my face break into a smile at the sound of his voice. It was awful hard to be depressed with the sweet melody of his words, the orchestra of symphony he was capable of making with his mouth. I could listen to him talk forever and be happy with doing nothing more than just listening.

"Hey," he replied, a smile in his voice. "How are you feeling? We still good for visiting Jake today?"

"I'm good," I said as Alice and Rosalie stared at me. I furrowed my eyebrows and stood, making my way up the stairs. I was bound to say something stupid and regrettable if I talked to Edward with them watching me so intently. When I reached my room, I shut my door and locked it. "And, yeah, we're good."

He sighed blissfully. "Good. I thought you might have made other plans with the girls since you had them over last night."

"I wouldn't reschedule us, Edward," I said truthfully, wondering if he could read just how truthful I was being. "Besides, I need to do a few things with Kate this afternoon anyways."

"That's right," he said, his voice acquiring a guilty tinge to it. "I didn't…you know…do anything wrong, did I? I feel so bad about grabbing her wrist after she reacted that way..."

"It wasn't you, Edward," I assured him, cringing at the sound of noisy footsteps on the stairs. Good thing I'd locked my door.

He breathed out a sigh of relief. "Just making sure. Bella?"

"Yeah?" I answered distractedly, watching my door as the feet approached it. Someone started pounding on it.

"Do you…want to do something after we see Jake?"

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Alice shrilled. "If you do not open this door in five seconds, Rose and I are going to murder you!"

"Go away!" I yelled.

"What?" Edward asked, hurt.

My heart hammered in panic. "Oh, no, Edward not you. Alice."

He chuckled nervously. "Oh, okay."

"What did you say again?" I asked politely, now glaring at my door as one of my friends continued to beat upon it.

"Bella!" Rosalie shouted sternly.

"Would you like to do something with me tonight? Just the two of us?"

"Shut up, Rose!" I demanded as my heart stopped dead. "Wh-what did you have in mind?" I asked Edward breathlessly thankful that the rude noise on the other side of the door had ceased for the time being.

"Well…just like, a drive around or something," he said, his voice adorably anxious. "Nothing too exotic. Just something…"

"Something that defines us," I smiled happily at the words as I said them.

"Yeah," he said, his voice suddenly warm. "Exactly like that."

"I'd love to," I replied.

"Good. And Bella?"

"Yeah, Edward?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to hear you say my name. See you at five."

"Pick me up at Kate's house?"

"Sure thing."

"Later."

"Bye Bella."

I sighed and smiled to myself as my back met the wall of my bedroom and I slid down it, biting my lip. He wanted to hear me say his name. He wanted to spend alone time with me. I hit the end button on the phone and dropped it to the floor as my knees met my chest.

"Guys!" I exclaimed suddenly, bursting with joy.

"Bella! Open the goddamn door!" Rose insisted loudly.

"Guys!" I said, ignoring her. "Guys, guys, guys!"

"What, Bella?" Alice asked.

"I'm gonna need help with finding something to wear for today," I said excitedly as I scrambled up off the floor and stumbled in a rush to the door. I unlocked it and yanked it open, letting the shocked faces of my girlfriends drink in my blissed out expression.

"_Why_?" Rose asked, her eyes incredulous. I _never_ asked for a makeover.

"Because," I smiled dazzlingly as I pulled them into my bedroom and closed the door. "Edward asked me out on a date tonight."

*

"Ohmigod, Bella, tell me again, exactly what he said," Alice gushed as she brushed my hair back painfully.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and continued to coat my fingernails in a clear polish, making them healthy and shiny looking.

"Well, he asked if I wanted to do something tonight after we go to see Jake. He said, 'Would you like to do something tonight? Just the two of us?' and you two were pounding on the door like a bunch of maniacs," I recalled as I thought back. We'd spent two hours squealing like little school girls before finally going to look through all my expensive, unused clothing that Rose and Alice had given me before. That took an hour all in itself. Now we were in my bathroom as the girls started to do my hair and makeup. And let me tell you, beauty is pain.

"Yeah, I'm not really sorry about that," Rosalie said. "You should have let us in."

"But I wanted _privacy_," I insisted, trying not to flinch as Alice ran a brush through my bed-head tangles.

"Shhhh, Rose," Alice reprimanded eagerly. "What did he say after that?"

I blushed which made the two of them giggle. "Well, I said yes and he sounded happy. And before we hung up he said, 'Bella?' and when I said, 'Yeah, Edward?' he replied, 'Nothing. I just wanted to hear you say my name.'" I sighed dreamily.

"God, Edward is like, the perfect man," Rose sighed.

I looked down at her, startled by her bold words. I had to admit, I was a little jealous when she said that too. She was so much more beautiful than I was. What if… "_What_?"

"Oh, relax, Bella, I'm in love with Emmett. But seriously? He's never—well, hardly ever—romantic. Edward is just that perfect guy who can be funny _and_ serious. Cute _and_ sexy. Cynical _and_ romantic. Em is just funny, cute, and cynical."

Alice laughed. "Well, nobody's perfect."

"Except for Edward," Rose and I said in unison, making us burst into a round of giggles.

Alice shook her head as she finally got through the last tangles in my hair and set the brush down. "Nah. He's too temperamental. Like when I wouldn't give you the phone earlier today? He went nuts."

"Because he wanted to talk to her, Alice," Rosalie said.

"Because he wanted to talk to me," I repeated with a blissful sigh.

"Bella, sweetie, you gotta sit up a little more if you want me to do your hair right," Alice said with amusement clear in her voice.

"Sorry," I murmured and sat up straight. I smiled at the bright-eyed, glowing faced girl in the mirror looking back at me. Maybe Edward _was _into me like that. Maybe things would just sort of fall into place without any effort. I knew that Kate said I should lay off obsessing, but it was so hard to do. I decided that for the day, I'd be my normal, Edward-obsessed self before giving that part of me up. Because today, Edward and I had a sort of unofficial date, and there was no way in hell I was just going to ignore the way his voice had sounded when he'd spoken to me. There was Tanya to remember, but she hardly seemed relevant at the moment. Right now, I was in my happy place, and not even the pulling of hair or the grating of my skin could suck me out of it.

*

"God, you look beautiful," Rosalie sighed as she put down the lip gloss and stood back. Alice was beaming at me in the mirror, looking as pleased with herself as ever.

"I know, Rose, we are _fab_ulous," she added gleefully, grinning from ear to ear.

I stared at my reflection, glad that I was seeing me…and not seeing me. My hair was parted to the side with curls that flowed down the middle of my back and my face was lightly dusted in makeup. I don't know what Rose had done to my eyes, but whatever shadow and eyeliner she'd used, they really stood out. I didn't know brown eyes could be so…pretty. I was dressed in a casual blue jean skirt that went halfway down my thighs and a red shirt that swung from the side of one shoulder to the other with three-quarter sleeves. After a long argument, Rose finally sided with me against Alice and they let me wear my black converse.

In other words, I was ready.

"You…" I started, my awed face breaking into a smile. "I look like _me_."

"That was the point!" Rose exclaimed. "See, it would be too much if Edward knew you dressed up just for a drive around, so it was only logical to keep you looking as casual as possible."

"The glow coming off your face certainly helps, Bella," Alice said slyly.

I jumped up off the chair they'd dragged into the bathroom and hugged them both quickly. They hadn't even gotten dressed yet and were standing in their pajamas and bed-hair, even though it was nearly two o'clock in the afternoon on a Sunday.

"Thank you guys so much!" I exclaimed as I pulled back.

"You call as soon as you step foot in this house tonight, you got that?" Rose demanded with a stern look in her eyes, contradicted with the happy smile on her face.

"I promise," I replied, grinning. "Now I gotta go; meeting Kate for a little while at her place. Don't you two have to go shopping with Tanya or something?"

"Shoot!" Alice shrieked as she darted from the bathroom and into my room where her overnight bag was laying.

Rose shrugged when I turned to look at her. "I bailed, but Alice was still supposed to go. I think she's picking Tanya up at two-fifteen."

I laughed as I looked at the clock on the counter. "She has ten minutes to get over there."

"I know. But Alice is never late."

Alice came streaking back out of my bathroom fully clothed, hair brushed, and lip gloss applied. She shot down the stairs with Rose and me in tow, gathering her things hurriedly and throwing on her coat.

"Thanks for reminding me, Bella! I'll talk to you toni—!" she cut herself off as she slammed the door behind her and ran out to her yellow Porsche. In seconds she was completely gone from sight.

"Holy crap that girl knows how to move," I said after a few moments of surprised silence between Rosalie and me.

She giggled. "No kidding. Hey, you get going. I'll clean up the mess in here before Charlie gets home from fishing."

I smiled at her gratefully. "Thanks, Rose."

"No problem; now move!"

"Going!" I chirped. I grabbed my purse and keys and stumbled out the door. Rosalie waved at me from my window and I gestured back once I was in my truck. I started the engine and ten minutes later, I was pulling up to Kate's house.

She was waiting on the front porch steps, her face set in a stressed out mode. I felt my blissfulness start to drain as the reality of this situation started to sink in. If Kate's test was positive…

"Hey, Bella," she called out to me as I approached, my rain coat shielding me from the downpour.

"How are you doing, Kate?" I responded as I stepped under the roof of the porch and slid my hood off of my head.

"…Nervous. What's got you all fancy?" she asked as she stood and opened the front door, sneaking a suspicious glance at me over her shoulder.

I shrugged, trying not to appear too happy. "Edward and I are going to hang out after we see Jake. After we get done here."

She smiled sadly at me as I shut the door behind me and shed my coat. "I'm glad you have time for me."

I smiled back as I hugged her briefly. "I always have time for you, Kate."

"Good, because you're the only one I've ever been able to confide in. By the way, when are we going to see Gran again?"

I laughed. "Sounds like it'll be a party next time. So far you and Edward are eager to go."

"Don't forget your boy toy," Kate added clandestinely with a secretive grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Jake's got mono, remember? He won't be going anywhere for at least a month."

"And you sound so depressed about that as you gloat about your date with Edward," she retorted playfully.

I blushed. "I can't just stop obsessing over him, Kate; it's not as easy as you said."

She shrugged. "I understand. It was just a suggestion. Might come in handy someday."

I rolled my eyes as I really hoped not. "Okay, where's the pregnancy test?"

Kate flinched. "In my room," she muttered.

I sighed as I took her arm. "Let's just do it, then. It's like a band-aid. One foul swoop and we're done."

"But, Bella…what if…"

"Shhh!" I commanded as I started to pull her up the stairs. "We won't consider that alternative."

"There's a fifty/fifty chance though," she mumbled.

"Stop being a Debbie Downer," I scolded as I pushed her through her bedroom door. I walked to her bed and picked up the unopened box, flinging it at her. She barely caught it and when it was steady in her hands, she held it up with just a thumb and forefinger.

"Ugh. Fine," she stuck her tongue out at me and marched back out the door. I collapsed on her bed and stared up at the ceiling immersing my mind in images of tonight.

He'd drive up here after we found out that Kate wasn't pregnant and smile at me through the rain and the windshield. I'd wave at a beaming Kate and run out, hop in his Volvo, and watch his beautiful face as he said hello. He'd reach over and take my hand as I replied and we'd go to Jake's. After making sure he was feeling okay, Edward and I would go on a drive around the area. When night fell, he'd—

"Bella," Kate's voice interrupted my daydreaming shakily as she reentered the room, her face broken and puffy from forming tears. I wondered how long I'd been so out of it because I knew taking the test took a little longer to get the results back than a few seconds.

I sat up in her bed, my eyes growing wide in alarm as shock started to immobilize my understanding. Wow, I'd had one heck of a whirlwind of emotions today, and I had a feeling it wasn't over yet. "Kate, what's…"

She held up the little test before dropping it with her trembling hand to her cluttered bedroom floor. "I waited for ten minutes, Bella, but it didn't go away."

"What?" Suddenly, I wasn't repressing bliss; it was sucked away by the natural fear and panic that threatened to reach out of Kate's shaking body and swallow me whole.

Her voice broke as she stumbled to me and fell in my lap, burying her face against just above my knees. "Bella…tell me it's just a nightmare," she started to sob, her agonized voice wavering. "Please tell me it's not real!"

I smoothed her hair back with a shaky hand. "Kate—"

She looked at me through teary eyes, her voice desperate and watery with longing and pain. "Bella…Bella…Please tell me that I'm not really pregnant."

* * *

**Taylor:** _Honestly, we got this done sooner than I ever expected. I've been so wrapped up in my own novel, that I never even realized that I was eager to keep writing on this too. I love where me and Nicole are headed with it and I'm excited to get it out of us and onto this site so that all you lovely peoples can read and review it. Hopefully, you'll love it just as much as we do…if not more? haha. Love y'all :)_

**Nicole:** _Ehh…ahem. I really have nothing to say. I have no excuse for why the update took so long. I was sick, and I had a lot of writer's block. Haha, that's about it. Anyway, we've already got a plan for another story—but I think we'll finish our prior commitment (Technicolor) before we go on with anything else. Um…yeah, so…REVIEW!_


	12. The P Word

Chapter 12:

The "P" Word

Positive…?

_Positive?_

I looked down at the pregnancy test in her hands and felt my frown deepen when I saw the little pink plus sign that was supposed to be a blessing to other women—_ready _women—but a pretty big downer to me and Kate. I blinked to see if we'd both seen the tiny picture wrong—we could be so nervous, we're adding the horizontal line; it could be a pink negative sign. But no, when I blink; it's still there.

Positive.

"Well," I began, swallowing hard over the lump in my throat, "um…you know, it could be wrong, we can't really rely on these things until we buy, like…a ton of them." I said, hoping I didn't sound too shaken up.

Kate nodded, looking a little better—but still pale. "Yeah, you're right." She agreed, still nodding her head. I noticed the faraway look in her eyes—like she was seeing things without really seeing them. They were glazed over, looking at me, but staring beyond me. "Let's…um…let's go buy some more." She said.

"You sure?" I asked.

"I have to know for sure, Bella." Kate said, getting up from the couch and walking towards the door. She grabbed her coat and slipped on her shoes before leading the way out the front door.

"Okay. But I'm driving; you look like you could pass out at any second." I said, jingling my keys in front of her.

Kate simply nodded and followed me to my truck. Once the engine of my beat up baby came to life, I backed out of the Denali's driveway and began driving in the direction of town.

"Um, Bella?" Kate asked meekly from the passenger's seat.

"Yes, Kate?" I asked, pressing down on the brake at the stop sign and looking at her to let her know she had my full attention, before going back to driving.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her shake her head slowly and sigh. "Never mind," she mumbled.

I nodded. I didn't want to press her into telling me something if she didn't want to tell me—if Kate wanted to tell me, Kate would tell me.

The drive into town was a silent one. I noticed that the closer we got to the drugstore, the more uneasy Kate felt—I could feel her anxiety from behind the wheel. She would shift in her seat and fidget…a lot.

At last, I pulled up in front of the drugstore. Kate gave me an uneasy look.

"I can't go in there, Bella…"

"You did it before—"

"I went to Port Angeles. People know everybody here," she said, looking up at me with teary blue eyes.

I sighed and pulled her into my arms in a comforting, girlfriend hug. "It's okay, Kate. I'll go in there and get the test for you." I said, grabbing my purse and checking my wallet to make sure I had the money.

Kate sniffed. "No! People will think—"

I rolled my eyes. "They wouldn't. I'm too much of a prude to even consider sex before marriage," I said, recalling the day Jessica Stanley called me out on turning down a date with Mike Newton.

I still get nightmares…

I could feel Kate's weary eyes watching me as I climbed out of my truck and headed into the drugstore.

A blast of stiflingly hot air hit me square in the face the second I stepped through the automatic doors. I repressed the urge to stick out my tongue and look like a dehydrated dog as I walked towards the aisle where all the pregnancy tests were.

And holy crow.

I had no idea there were so many kinds of tests!

"Which one do I pick…?" I muttered, stepping wearily into the aisle.

I thought it would be easy—just a quick grab and go—but I was so wrong. So, _so _wrong. This test was good for this, that one for this…it was a never ending list of reasons why I should buy this pregnancy test.

Really? It's a stupid pee-stick. How the hell can there be so damn many!?

Finally, I found one that seemed suitable enough for Kate and I bought five boxes of them—you can never be too sure. Wearily, I headed towards the checkout and set the boxes on the counter.

I didn't recognize the person behind the counter—but that didn't mean that they didn't recognize me. But they only looked at me with a raised eyebrow before adding up my purchases.

"Hey, Bella!" an all too familiar voice chirped as the man at the checkout put all my things in a plastic bag. I cringed as Jessica Stanley came up beside me. "Wow, funny running into you here!" she giggled.

Something about the way she talked made me feel uneasy…

"Um…it's the only drugstore in town?"

Jessica giggled again. "I know that, silly Bella." She said, flicking her wrist as if it were the most obvious thing in the world—which it was. "So, what brings you here?" she asked, trying to get a peek inside my bag.

As she moved closer, I moved the bag behind my back and closed the top a little more, even working on tying it together behind my back.

"Just shopping." I shrugged. "Well, bye, Jess." I said, pushing past her and walking towards the door. In my haste, the bag swung out from my arm and exposed the five pregnancy tests clearly to Jessica.

"Bella…? Ohmigod! Tyler, quick! Gimme your phone!" I heard her say before I stepped into the refreshingly cool cloudy day. I hurried to my truck, slipping into the driver's seat and chucking the bag at Kate.

"Hell has just started." I said, jamming the key into the ignition before slipping out of the drugstore parking lot as fast as my old truck could go.

*

Five tests.

Five _freaking _tests total…and only _one _came back negative.

"It's official," Kate wailed, collapsing into my arms after placing the last test on a paper towel on the coffee table where we had all the other tests placed. "I'm _pregnant_!"

I didn't know what to say, so I kept my mouth shut and held her while she cried.

What a way to welcome a new girl to town; rape her and impregnate her. The bastard that did this will pay—I don't know how, but he'll pay. Shoot, I'll hunt him down myself if I have to. Admittedly, that won't go so well…Maybe I'll ask Charlie for some help.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, crying into her shoulder as she cried into mine.

"I'm scared," she choked out through her sobs.

"I am too," I said, wishing that there was some way that we could go back in time and make sure none of this happened.

For a while, the two of us just sat there, crying.

At last, I noticed the clock on the wall. "Edward will be here soon…" I mumbled.

Kate nodded, pulling away from me and wiping the tears off her face. "Right," she said, sniffling as she picked up the paper towel full of napkins and hurried into the kitchen, folding up the napkin and chucking it in the trash can. "I shouldn't keep you—"

"Kate, I can call him—"

"Bella, you still have a life. Go out with Edward, don't think about me, and have fun. Okay?" she said, grabbing me by my shoulders and smiling. "Leave your keys here; I'll take your truck home later and have Tanya drive with me so I have a ride home."

I sighed. "Kate—"

She shook her head. "Bella, just do it. For me?" she asked, looking up at me with wide blue eyes, a pout on her tear-streaked face.

I groaned as I wiped my eyes dry. "Okay. Okay," I sighed, reluctantly. "I'll go get ready."

Kate nodded. "Thanks for being here while I did this, Bella."

I smiled. "Anytime…just, wait another ten years before it happens again."

We both smiled a little, feeling a little more heartened.

Kate looked down at her relatively flat stomach, placing her hands over her abdomen. "I'm having a baby," she whispered.

"I'll be right there beside you, Kate. Don't worry," I said, placing my hand on her shoulder.

"What if the baby looks like him?"

"If it's smart, it'll get all of your good looks." I said with a wink.

Kate chuckled a little just as a familiar car horn sounded from outside. "That's Edward!" she said excitedly.

"I can still tell him—"

"Shut up and go!" she said, snatching the keys of my truck from her hand, pushing me out the door as she handed me my coat and purse. "Have fun—and tell me all about it the nanosecond you get home!" she called after me as I hurried towards Edward's Volvo. God bless her. She'd just found out she was pregnant and she was shoving me out the door. Kate was amazing.

"Hi," Edward greeted as I slipped into the passenger's seat, shutting the door behind me. He wouldn't look at me—and there wasn't any of the happiness I'd heard in his voice earlier when he'd called and asked me out. It was hard and icy and sharp, and being Edward, I was shocked by how devoid of pleasantry it was.

"I…hi?" I replied, confused, frowning at him as he backed out of the driveway. "Is…is something wrong?" I asked as he sped off, easily maneuvering the Volvo down the road.

Edward looked at me from the corner of his eye, his frown deepening, before turning back to look at the road ahead. "You tell me," he said, his voice suddenly even colder.

I tilted my head to the side in confusion. "I don't know what you mean," I said, shaking my head.

"I thought you said you were going to wait?" he asked, glaring at me before looking back at the road.

I was instantly confused. "Wait? For _what_?"

"Sex, Bella! Wait for sex!" Edward yelled angrily, coming to a sudden stop in the middle of the road, making me jerk forward and slam back against the seat. We were out of Forks—away from people—and a little ways away from the reservation.

"I—what? Yes, of _course _I'm waiting! What are you talking about?" I shouted, now completely and utterly confused. "Edward, where the hell is all of this coming from?" I asked, feeling hurt and angered by this accusation.

"Explain this!" he said, tossing his phone into my lap.

I looked at the message on the screen under a picture of me hurrying out the drugstore door with a full shopping bag. Crap. It was a forward from Emmett.

_Dude, is this true!? Angela sent it Jasper n Jazz sent it 2 me n I'm sendin it 2 u. Ang says she doesn't kno who sent it to her. FWD: Just saw Bella Swan the drugstore. Get this, she was buying PREGNANCY TESTS!!!!_

"Oh my God…"

I could feel my face pale.

How many people had already gotten this message? Everyone in Forks who had a cell phone was probably staring at this exact same message—only, minus the message from Emmett. Was everyone thinking that I was pregnant?

"Is that true, Bella?" Edward asked, pulling me out of my wild thoughts.

"I…yeah, I was buying the tests—but they're not for me! Edward, I swear."

"Then who were they for, Bella?" Edward asked, looking like he truly wanted to believe me.

"I—I can't tell you. Edward, I'm one of your best friends, I would never lie to you. I'm still a virgin. I haven't had sex. I _was _buying those tests, but they weren't for me. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you who." I said, desperately wanting him to believe me.

The two of us sat there, just staring at each other. Edward's green eyes searched my face for any sign of a lie, I silently willed him to trust my word.

At last, he sighed. "I believe you," he said.

I sighed, feeling the weight being lifted off my shoulders. One down, three-thousand one-hundred and ninety-one to go. "Good," I said, sinking into my seat. "I wouldn't lie to you, Edward." I said.

"Just because I believe you doesn't mean the entire city of Forks will."

I cringed, thinking of Gran and Charlie. Oh, God, Charlie… "I know."

He sighed, starting his Volvo up once more and speeding down the road, running a hand through his already messy bronze hair. I felt my heart jerk in my chest and my fingers twitch in my lap. Funny, the things he could do to me without even knowing…

"Why do you do that?" I asked, tilting my head to the side as I watched him.

"Do what?" he asked, looking at me.

"The"—I messed up my own hair; making it a wild mess around my face—"thing," I said, looking at him before blowing a lock of hair out of my face.

He laughed and shook his head at me. I felt the blood rush to my face in embarrassment; but can you blame me? This cat was very curious to know why he did what he did. "I don't know. Just a habit, I guess," he said. "Why, does it bother you that I do the"—he ran a hand through his hair and mussed it all up again—"thing?" he asked, looking like he wanted to laugh at me some more.

I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't _bother _me at all." I said. "I was just wondering why you did it so much—you do it quite a bit, you know." I said matter-of-factly. Edward was still staring at me with amusement. "I shouldn't have even asked if you were going to laugh!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up.

"Silly Bella," he said, taking one of my hands in his. I felt an electrical zap run up and down my arm and down my spine. I tried to stay calm. I prayed my palm wouldn't start to get all sweaty and gross. "I'm not laughing at you." He said. "It's just…you can seem so serious about the tiniest things…,"

"So you _are _laughing at me…"

"No!" he said quickly. "I mean, no. Not at you, Bella." He said, clearing his throat and recovering from his sudden outburst.

I chuckled and squeezed his hand on instinct. "Relax, Edward. I'm only kidding," I said. "Look, there's Jake's house." I said.

"I wonder what the boyfriend will think once he sees the text," he said as he pulled up to the curb of Jake's house and shut the engine off.

"Text? Edward, we don't even know if he's gotten it yet," I said, hiding my horror at the thought. Jake was so much harder to convince than Edward and if I couldn't get my own cohort in operation Take Down Tanya to believe me, I didn't know how I was supposed to convince the rest of the town. Even if I could, who would I confess buying the tests for? I wasn't going to rat Kate out. Ugh, no matter what I did, I was officially screwed.

"Then I'll double check," he said, a wicked streak of amusement in his voice. He whipped out his cell phone and started pressing buttons. I shrieked and undid my seatbelt, launching myself across the armrest to tear the phone from his grasp, but I missed and ended up grabbing a fistful of his shirt instead, whacking his temple with my fist on accident.

"Edward! You send that thing to Jake, and I swear to God, I'll rip your head off!" I yelped, scrabbling for the phone again. He started laughing as I kept screaming at him and after a few minutes of my fruitless struggling, he snapped the phone back together with a triumphant smile on his face.

"Done," he announced.

"You asshole!" I hissed. I shoved my hands against his chest once and he caught my wrists, grinning crookedly down at me.

"Bella. Language," he reprimanded me mockingly, still grinning. I usually loved how his smile made me feel, but right now, my gut was twisting with sick anticipation. Jake was going to chew me out, even if we were secretly not together.

"You know how cynical Jake is, Edward," I spat as I tried pulling my hands away. It was no use; he held on too tightly. "He's going to jump to the wrong conclusion like you did and then I'm going to spend weeks trying to convince him alone that I'm not pregnant. We haven't done anything that physical; what if he breaks up with me?" I let my voice grow slightly hysterical, hoping that I was playing the right card. "He can't leave me."

Edward grimaced and finally let me go. "I-I didn't realize, Bella, that you were so…passionate already."

I rubbed my wrists, coaxing the feeling back into them. "Yeah, well, you haven't realized several things."

I hadn't intended for him to respond, because of course I was referring to being in love with him, he being so completely oblivious towards my affections. "What things?"

I shook my head and opened the door of his Volvo. "Never mind, Edward."

"Bella, what things?"

I took a deep breath. "Things like…things like love."

"Tanya doesn't love me," he said bluntly, confusion evident in his pretty little voice.

I sighed and stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut behind me. He wouldn't get it. Of _course_ he would jump to that conclusion; of _course_ he would think I was talking about Tanya. It's always about Tanya; it will always _be_ about Tanya.

"Are you mad at me?" Edward asked incredulously as he saw my scowling face over the top of the car.

"No." Yes. "Let's just go see Jake, okay?"

"Okay," he replied, watching me wearily before I stomped off towards the Black's front door. When I stepped on the porch, Billy Black ripped open the door and smiled at me from his wheelchair, nodding slightly at Edward as he stepped up beside me.

"Edward, Bella!" he said, as if he were relieved. "Jake thought you weren't going to come."

"I called and said we were," Edward replied, puzzled. I rolled my eyes, still pissed off at him.

Billy shrugged as he backed his chair up and admitted us into the tiny house. "You know how he is."

"Is he…feeling okay?" I asked as I slipped my shoes off and shed my coat, hanging it over the back of the only chair in the kitchen. Edward did the same, laying his coat over mine.

"He keeps complaining about how his throat hurts, but he'll live," Billy shrugged it off and waved us down the hallway. "Go on and see him; he'll be happy to see anyone at this point."

Edward chuckled and placed his hand on the small of my back, leading me down the short hallway to Jake's room. I was still upset with his ignorance (though it's not all his fault) but his touch still had the most incredible affect on me. My mind spun just from feeling his hand through the back of the red shirt Rose and Alice helped dress me in. His influence over me was absolutely ridiculous and I wondered if he had this power on Tanya too.

"Knock, knock," I said, forcing myself to sound bright even though Kate was pregnant and Edward was stuck on Tanya, as I opened the door of Jake's room. He was curled up in his tiny bed, his large body too big for the space provided. From fingertip to toe, his stretching could reach both walls on opposite sides from each other.

Jake's face looked excited and relieved to see us as he sat up against a pile of three pillows, but it was paler than his tanned skin should be. There were bags of grey under his dark eyes, which were tired and pained. I could tell just sitting up hurt. My poor Jake.

"Hey, Bells; hey, Ed," Jake rasped as Edward and I crowded into his miniscule room. I could tell he was trying to smile, but it came out more like a grimace.

"Oh, baby," I cooed tragically as I went to him. As far as good girlfriends go, I think I did pretty good. I crouched by his bed and ran my hand soothingly over his cheek. I could feel Edward's eyes on us like two burning lasers, but I tried my best to ignore him as I took Jake's hand and kissed it. "How are you feeling?"

He shook his head weakly. "Uh, not so great." He coughed. "My throat hurts like hell."

"That's what Billy told us," Edward replied, chuckling slightly. "Why don't you sit there and we do the talking?"

Jake shook his head. "One thing." He turned to me and his eyes suddenly narrowed, making me squirm on my knees. Here it comes. "Bella? I've gotten about twenty of the same texts and they all come back to you. Why are you buying pregnancy tests? You haven't been screwing around with anyone, have you?"

I glared at the insincerity in his delivery. "You know I haven't, Jake." I was really starting to hate that "p" word.

"Then who were the tests for?" he demanded, though it was barely a whisper in his strained throat. Suddenly, Edward's glare was full of amusement, I knew.

"Someone," I replied smartly after a flailing search for a reasonable answer.

He rolled his eyes. "Bella…"

"I can't tell you, Jake. I can't tell anyone; it's not my secret."

"Well, whatever," he sighed, then grimaced. "I guess I believe you. You are our Bella after all. You thought Edward and me had cooties until at least seventh grade."

I stuck my tongue out as Edward chuckled at the memories but relief ran through me thickly; Jake believed me. Now I just have to worry about Charlie and Gran, because Alice and Rosalie know me better than that, and they've got all of Forks in their contact books. "You both threatened to kiss me. And I'm sorry, but at the time it wasn't appealing at all."

"At the time?" Edward asked, curious. "Would it be appealing now?"

I felt my eyes grow wide as I stared at Jake's face. He looked back at me, his eyes encouraging me to answer, to make a move. He wanted me to be truly happy with Edward just like I wanted him to be truly happy with, even though I didn't like her, Tanya. Suddenly, I was very grateful for Jake and his support, for our evil scheme and his brilliant mind. Maybe I would get what I wanted, in the end.

"Are you asking if you can kiss me?" I asked slowly and deliberately, turning my head to look at him, who was now kneeling next to me and as close as he could get.

"You're dating Jake," he said, his eyes peeling away from mine to glance at our friend. The way he said it—reluctantly and miserably—had my heart fluttering excitedly and my stomach twisting in a nervous-making way that I loved.

Jake sighed. "She is. Loosely."

"Loosely?" Edward and I asked in perfect unison.

Jake nodded. "Yup, loosely. We realize that we're just so comfortable around each other, right, Bells? That's the point of our relationship right now. We don't wanna screw anything up, but it feels nice to hold her hand and kiss her." He smiled at me. "And I love her."

I grinned back. "I love you too, Jake."

Jake looked at Edward. "Just like I love you, man."

Edward chuckled. "I'm not going to point out how gay that sounds. Instead, I'm going to tell you…yeah. You're my best man, Jake."

"Aw, aren't you guys the sweetest thing?" I giggled, pinching both of their cheeks gently.

"I love you too, Bella," Edward whispered and my heart stopped beating. I couldn't breathe for my surprise and I felt as if I was suffocating. But I'd gladly take this over the heartbreak he's inflicted recently any day.

"You…love me?" I choked out, my eyes wide with shock.

He shrugged. "Well, sure. You're my best friend."

And abruptly, I realized that it wasn't the type of love I wanted from him. I realized that he was talking about camaraderie and familial feelings, not passionate, I-would-rather-die-than-stay-away-from-you love. My heart sputtered back to life and twisted agonizingly, making me grimace in pain that I wish I had the strength to hide.

Jake sensed my distress and spoke up—well, more like scraped out. "Edward? What's Tanya up to? She called me."

Edward's eyes opened wider in surprise from his brooding expression—I guess he was trying to figure out my reaction to his words—and he sputtered. "Tanya called you?"

Jake smirked. "Jealous, Cullen?"

He shook his head and smiled. "Surprisingly…no. After all, I'm hanging out with your girl after we get done here," he said, shooting me a timid grin. At the moment, I was drowning in too many feelings to notice the glint of hope in his eyes. "But what did she want?"

"You sure you won't get jealous?" Jake clarified, giving him a suspicious look.

Edward shook his head again. "I'm sure."

"She wants to come over tonight…but I think she was going shopping first," he said.

I laughed suddenly, remembering the way Alice flew around this morning to get ready to see Tanya and take her out. "Knowing Alice, they won't be home until after nine; they've been shopping since about three, I think."

Jake chuckled then coughed, the sound sounding grating and ragged against his throat. Just the noise made me grimace and reach back out to take his hand again.

"I wish I could take away your mono, Jake," I said.

He shrugged. "I figure about another week or so and then recovery time. It's not so bad. I don't really miss anything but…er…you?"

I smothered my urge to laugh at his attempt of being a smitten boyfriend and touched his cheek tenderly as Edward watched the two of us silently. "Oh, Jake…"

He smiled lazily at me then brushed away my hand, his eyes drooping. "Guys? I'm really glad you came to see me and all, but I did take some medicine before you got here and its…"

"Making you sleepy?" Edward chuckled forcefully. I looked at him because of the strained sound, but he avoided my eyes and kept his on Jake. "No worries, bro, we'll head out and let you get your rest before Tanya shows up."

"You're really not jealous?"

"You know, I really think I should be…but I can't find it. I've felt some intense jealousy before, I'll be honest, but with Tanya involved, I feel nothing of the sort; I don't know, it's weird."

"Tell me about it dude. Would you be jealous if I slept with her?" Jake asked, raising his eyebrow. I rolled my eyes.

"Um…I don't know," Edward replied honestly, frowning. "But…aren't you a little sore for that kind of…activity?"

Jake laughed, which made him cough again. "I was just messin' with you man."

"I knew that." Edward grinned.

"Maybe that's why I bought the tests," I said bitterly. "In case both of my best guy friends decided to screw around with a couple girls."

Edward looked shocked at my words. "Bella, you know I'm waiting too."

Jake only chuckled again at my sullen expression. "Oh, Bells. You crack me up."

I rolled my eyes again. "Sure, whatever. I'll talk to you later, Jake, okay?"

He winked at me. "Of course."

"See ya," Edward nodded at him, to which Jake returned.

"Later," he said.

Then Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. I think Jake was snoring before we even reached the end of the hall. That boy could sleep through anything. When we still did sleepovers together as kids, he often kept Edward and me up all night because he sounded like a freight train, I'm not even kidding.

"You kids leaving already?" Billy asked as he wheeled his chair out to where we were putting out shoes back on silently.

Edward nodded. "Jake's tired, and I guess he has more company coming later?"

"Oh, well then, you two have a good night," Billy replied with a slight smile, nodding at us as he turned and pushed himself back into the tiny living room.

"You too, Billy," I replied loud enough so he could hear me, then shook my head. Edward chuckled at my expression and after we had our raincoats on, he took my hand in his.

"So, Bella," he began, his eyes twinkling in the dimness as we stepped out to the porch and started towards the Volvo in a light drizzle. "You probably want to stay inconspicuous so that Forks doesn't converge on you and your baby." He chuckled again and patted my non-existent stomach.

I rolled my eyes at him but smiled. He was touching my stomach, a place that rarely felt his warm pressure, and my muscles tightened under his hand involuntarily. "That would be ideal," I replied.

"So, a drive sounds good?"

"A drive sounds perfect."

"Good. Because the tanks full of gas, but I've got no cash on me."

I laughed. "I got a twenty. You know, in case we get hungry."

"Of course." We stopped on the passenger side of the car and he opened my door. "You know, I'm really glad that you're hanging out with me tonight, Bella."

"I'm glad you asked," I replied honestly. My heart fluttered when he took my other hand into his and held onto both of mine tightly, his eyes meeting mine with determination.

"I have something to tell you," he said slowly.

"Okay," I said, giving him breathless permission to proceed.

"In the car."

I grinned at his nervousness as I pulled my hands away from his gently. "Okay." I slid into the car and shut the door on him, giggling a little as he stared at the door before making his way to the driver's seat. Once he was in the car, he started it and pulled away from the curb of Jake's house. Within seconds we were out in the greenery of the forest, Forks and La Push behind us as we headed inland.

"So, you were saying?" I spoke up after five minutes of anxious silence. My mind was being given too much time to wander, and Kate's situation flashed like a neon sign in my head every time I wasn't preoccupied. I needed to keep up a distraction so that I couldn't freak out for her.

He looked nervously at me, and in the glow of the car, his beauty was raw and unedited. I felt my breath catch. "Well, I just wanted to say…"

* * *

**Taylor:** _Oh! Cliffy! xD lol. I'm sorry to all of you who think we're being mean by making Kate pregnant, but it was a 50/50 chance from the beginning and we have things planned for our Kate, and Bella, and Edward, and the rest of our gang. We're sorry. I loved how we wrote this chapter, because Jessica telling all of Forks that Bella was buying pregnancy tests was priceless (and Nicole's idea). Haha. You should all review and tell us how much you LOVE seeing another chapter up. Because we love hearing from you :)_

**Nicole:** _Dun dun DUUUUUNNNN!! Honestly, now _I'm _anxious with anticipation. I don't even know what's going to happen—but I get to write out what does happen! Yay! You should all be very excited for what's gonna happen…or what might happen. I might be a bitch and screw everything up! Haha, just kidding. Let's see what happens, though. Review, and I might be generous. _xD  
_P.S.: I have a story up on my solo account (Pucoan) - it's a Rose x Emmett oneshot based off chapter eleven - curious to see what Rosalie's doing with her girls gone and busy? Read this fic! It's called "Bad Dreams" - link in our profile!!!_


	13. Bella and Edward?

Chapter 13:

Bella and Edward?

Bella POV

I sighed after he trailed off, wondering why he was being so hesitant. It's not like he was going to pull the car over to the side of the road, leap out of the car, tug me along, and kneel in the weeds on the curb, declaring his love for me so loudly that the birds in the trees chirped and flew off. Pfft, yeah, I wish.

"Edward?" I prompted after a few moments, staring out at the greenery.

"Do you feel…differently?" he asked slowly, finally.

My heart gave one loud, hard, painful beat and I gasped from the force of it as I looked at him wildly. How could he extract reactions so severe and immediate from me? It didn't make sense, how much he could make me feel. I hated it. "What do you mean?" I struggled to say while keeping my voice even. God, was I that transparent? Could he see how pathetically I longed for him in a way I shouldn't, in a way any best friend shouldn't?

He shrugged, and I noticed how hard he was trying to avoid eye contact. "Well, I feel like we…like something's changed between us," he mumbled after a few moments.

I swallowed thickly, my eyes tracing every inch of his face. His smooth forehead, his slightly crooked nose, the perfect curvature of his cheek, and the sharp square that was his chin. God. I think I just fell in love with him even more. How is that possible? "What kind of change?" I asked curiously.

I saw his eyebrows furrow and my gut twisted. "I'm not sure," he said with a touch of frustration. "But I…I want to know how it…effects you."

I shook my head, trying to shake a coherent sentence into place. What was I supposed to tell him? That all of this tension was because I had developed feelings for him past friendship and he was completely oblivious to it? That I had bouts of elation and misery twisted into one sick combination constantly when I was with him? What the hell was I supposed to say? What did he want to hear?

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed it, Bella," he said when I didn't respond. "That would be a load of bull crap. Because I know it's you that has been effected the most."

I winced. "I don't know how it's effected me, Edward," I lied, my voice shaking slightly. "I just sort of…go with it."

He growled, slamming on the brakes in the middle of the road much as he'd done earlier. I jerked forward again, almost hitting my forehead on the dashboard, before being pulled violently back into my seat. I squeezed my eyes shut as the Volvo whined under us before being put out of its misery. The sound of keys jangled from my left and I peeked my eyes open to see Edward pulling his car keys out of the ignition and shoving them in his pocket. He didn't look once at me as he unbuckled his seat belt, and left the vehicle.

I watched curiously as he marched around the front of the car and into the side ditch. For one dizzying moment, I thought that maybe my sarcastic thought about him declaring his love for me was coming true, but he didn't come to take me out of the Volvo. He went and sat in the long grass on the side of the road, burying his face in his hands as the sky continued to grow darker with the sunset behind the cloud cover.

-*-

Edward POV

I honestly don't know what came over me. That wasn't a good enough answer, and I knew, with a certainty, that Bella was lying through her pinched lips. She was lying to me, _again_. I didn't understand. First, she's not going to tell me about those freaking pregnancy tests, and now she's just going to blow me off? What the hell had I done to deserve that?

I growled into my hands again and pulled at my hair, releasing my frustration into my harsh grasp. Jesus, why was Bella driving me so crazy lately? It's not like anything's been majorly different. I mean, I had Tanya now, but me and Tanya both knew that we weren't natural. We were just cozy with one another. I wasn't even that close of friends with her. It was nice, just to have her company, to talk to someone about my confused Bella problems with.

Damn it, and then Bella went and wore things like her little skirt and shirt this afternoon and I got urges to do things to her that appalled me. Why in the hell should I be thinking about losing my virginity to, and taking it away from, my best friend?

I growled a few profanities and wished that I could somehow yank my hair even more, even though my scalp was screaming in pain now. I heard the door of my Volvo open and close loudly, and I knew that without looking up, Bella was headed over to me right now. Shit. What was I supposed to tell her?

"Edward?" she asked tentatively. Great, now she was scared of me. Well…maybe she should be. What if I was losing my mind? I shouldn't want to rip her skirt off of her body; it was wrong. I didn't glance up towards her sweet voice; I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel when I saw her there.

"What is it, Bella?" I asked harshly, pulling at my hair again.

"Did I say something wrong?" she asked timidly. I heard a shifting and the squeak of her shoes on the damp grass as she sat down across from me. I felt something put pressure against one of my pant legs and I knew just from the touch that it was her little hand.

"Bella," I moaned. "What's wrong with me?"

She sounded confused. "What?"

I pulled my hands away from my face and yelled right at her, "What the hell is wrong with me?!"

She scowled and leaned towards me a little. The skirt she was wearing was riding up high on her thighs and I wanted to gouge my eyes out just so I would stop seeing these mental images of Bella naked, no matter how much I found I enjoyed them. It was just wrong to see her that way, mostly because I knew she'd never ever look at me and think how much she'd love to rip my clothes off. I'd never felt like such a teenager before.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Edward!" she yelled back. "Why the hell are you so pissed off at me?"

I grimaced and started yanking fistfuls of the grass around me, substituting it for my hair. I didn't want to go bald after all. "Bella, Bella," I mumbled, ashamed. "If you only knew what I've been thinking about…something's changing; I don't know--Bella, Bella, I'm not the same anymore."

She hesitantly placed both of her hands on my knees and looked at me curiously. "That's not true. You're still the same Edward I know and love." Her face reddened and I suddenly was overpowered with the urge to just take her face between my hands and kiss the hell out of her. But as I pushed the desire away, I wondered why she was blushing.

"Bellai'vebeenhavingsexualthoughts," I admitted in a rush.

She pulled her hands back to herself and fingered the hem of her jacket, her cheeks still red as she averted her gaze. "What?"

"I've been," I sighed, "having sexual thoughts."

She didn't look back up at me. "I'm sure you have. Tanya's very beautiful and it's only natural for teenagers you know?" she said. "But I know you'll wait. We made a promise, remember?"

I nodded. Of course, I remembered. I couldn't forget that if I tried. Bella and I had been fifteen at the time, and we both promised each other that we'd wait until we knew with absolute certainty the person we had sex with was going to be with us forever. We had to love them. "Are you saying that you don't think Tanya and I belong together?"

To my surprise, she shook her head. "No, I don't think you belong together. I think there's someone else out there for you…"

"You do?" I asked as she looked up at me. Our eyes connected and something suddenly felt very right about this moment, here with Bella on the side of a nearly deserted road. This wasn't how I'd planned my night out, but a few perverted scenarios included having her in the backseat of the Volvo. I was officially a modified version of Emmett. Wonderful.

"I think she's pretty desperate too," she said with longing, her eyes suddenly flashing with pain. "I don't even think you realize how much…how badly she wants to be with you."

"Does this someone go to our school?" I asked, feeling my stomach start to flutter with nervousness.  
Bella nodded. "Yes."

"Do I know who she is?" I continued, my grip on my grass lightening up as I started to lean forward.

"Very well," she whispered, her eyes half lidded and misty with moisture.

I leaned forwards even more, my forearms skimming her kneecaps as I pressed on. She leaned back slightly, but she was still reachable. Her nose bumped into mine and I rested my forehead against hers.

"Do you think you could tell me who it is?" I asked, my breathing beginning to become labored. This was a foreign feeling to me, but I reveled in it. Who knew Bella smelt so good or could look so irresistible? I was beginning to see my best friend in a new light these days, all thanks to my pervy brain.

She shook her head, rubbing my forehead with hers as her hair fell around our faces. Her scent wafted around me. Strawberries. "She'd kill me."

"Can I get one hint?" I asked, my voice suddenly a whisper. My heart started to beat faster as the top of my lip brushed the top of Bella's. I couldn't even think, and my stomach knotted up. What the hell was happening to me? Why wasn't I pulling away? This was Bella for God sakes! Ughn, but she smelt so good, and I knew her so well, and I wanted to see if she felt as wonderful as she did in my forbidden dreams.

I was about to press forward, to connect our lips, but Bella jumped in surprise with a shriek and toppled sideways into the grass. Her skirt blew up and I caught a glimpse of something black and lacy against her pale skin before I squeezed my eyes tight to try and get rid of the image. But it was too late.

Damn it, I was so freaking confused. This was _Bella_.

Looking like a raddish, Bella struggled up into a sitting position, smoothing her skirt down, and jamming her hand down into her coat pocket, producing her cell phone, which buzzed. She flipped it open with eyes that I noted were carefully avoiding mine.

"Alice!" she hissed into the phone. "What the hell are you doing? I said I'd call you when I was home!"

Now that the moment started to set it, I myself started to blush. I couldn't kiss Bella; that would change everything we were all about…whatever that was. And what if things went too far? I didn't want to do anything that would drive me and Bella apart; she meant too much to me.

Bella sat with furious eyes as she glared at a patch of grass. "No…Alice, listen to me…Alice you moron….Alice—Alice! Ugh. Hanging up on you…Alice, I'm hanging up on you….now. Right now. Goodbye." She sighed as she snapped the phone shut and finally looked up to meet my eyes.

God. Talk about awkward.

"So…erm…we should, um, probably get going…" she said, reaching up to scratch her neck nervously.

_No! _"Yeah, er—right…"

*

Bella POV

What do I say now? My heart was still pounding in my chest. What do I do? I had never been in a situation like this. I highly doubt that someone had written a guide on what to do after your best friend tried to kiss you. I didn't dare bring it up either.

I forced myself to stare out the window. I couldn't bring myself to look at Edward for fear that I might blurt out something stupid, or maybe start blushing like a moron. I've read stories about things happening between girls and their best friends—would that end up to me and Edward? I didn't want that to happen.

For the next twenty minutes, we drove around in silence. I didn't dare look away from the window, for fear of what I would see when I looked at Edward. Was he angry about what had just happened? Upset? I wasn't sure. I don't think I wanted to find out.

Suddenly, he came to another stop. I wasn't sure where we were at—I hadn't been paying much attention. But we were parked in the middle of the road, the engine still running and the windshield wipers still going as the rain came pouring down.

"I don't understand, Bella." Edward said suddenly. I turned to face him. He was staring at me, his green eyes smoldering, but it looked as if he were staring past me, too caught up in his thoughts to really notice me. "I just…I can't understand what's going on," he said, finally looking at me rather than staring past me.

I swallowed hard over the lump in my throat. "I…you don't…understand, what, Edward?" I asked, my voice low and shaky. I couldn't bring myself to look away from his eyes, as much as I would've liked to right then.

He sighed, leaning back against the door and squeezing his eyes shut. "I don't understand you…_us_." He said. "One minute, I feel like we're best friends again and everything is perfectly normal about us. The next, I want to…I want…"

"I know," I whispered as I looked down at the space between us, afraid that if I'd spoken louder, my voice would've betrayed the overwhelming emotions I was feeling. This was it; the moment of truth. Did he, or did he _not _want to be with me? Was I or was I not the girl for him? I was almost afraid of the answer. But I hoped that maybe, just maybe, if he'd rejected me, it might give me some closure of knowing that him and I could never be together the way I wanted us to be. If that happened, I could forget…in time.

I heard him shift around in his seat. "Bella," he said, his voice just as quiet as mine. I felt his hand move under my chin, tilting my head up to face him. He looked me square in the face, his eyes searching mine. "I…do you mind if I…?" but before he could finish, he'd brought his lips down on mine.

For a moment, I was stunned. Sure, some part of me was kind of expecting him to kiss me—but the serious part of me made me realize that the chances of that were slim to none. But, after a moment, it sunk in and I could feel myself melting. His lips pressed against mine, it felt…_beyond _right. The contact shot an electric spark all the way down to my toes. I never thought that kissing him would feel quite this good.

I started moving my lips against his, my hands tight fists in my lap, wanting badly to reach up and bury themselves in his hair. It was so perfect and I felt something bloom in my chest, my lips becoming more frantic against his. I didn't know how to stop…

And suddenly, it was over and Edward was gripping the steering wheel as he stared out the windshield, his breathing coming out in quick, short breathes like mine.

"I'm…I'm sorry," he said, breathing heavily, eyes completely averted from mine.  
"Don't be," I said, not sure what I should be feeling. I knew that the flower of emotion in my chest was a sort of deep joy, but I was also very wary and confused. What did he feel? What did he want me to feel? What if I felt the wrong thing? This was bad. As much as I'd enjoyed finally knowing what it was like for my lips to touch Edward's—that flame burning a million times stronger than Jacob's spark—it was now the moment of truth.

Besides our heavy breathing and the now pouring rain, it was absolutely silent in the car. I knew it couldn't stay that way forever, even though I wanted it to. What could we say? God, wasn't having a pregnant friend hard enough? Why did I have to be crushing on my best friend, kiss him a little too deeply, and want to pull his shirt off to continue to assault him?

I nearly crapped my pants when Edward spoke, even though his voice was soft with understanding, hiding an undercurrent of emotion that I couldn't read. "Bella…I'll…I, um, I'd understand if you, you know, wanted me to take you home, uh, now."

I swallowed before answering. "Is that what you want?"

For the first time since he'd parted his lips from mine, he looked over at me. His expression looked very sad and intense and it nearly broke my heart, or what was left of it. "I don't know."

"Hey," I murmured, longing to reach out and hold his face. Would that be weird? I mentally rolled my eyes. Weirder than kissing Edward? No, better, weirder than Edward kissing me? I don't think so. "Don't be…" Don't be what? Afraid? Angry? Scared? Sad? Confused? Everything I was? "Edward…" _I love you._

"You don't have to say anything," he said.

"I don't want it to be awkward," I mumbled truthfully.

He laughed a hard, unexpectedly loud laugh that made me cringe. I knew he hit a critical stressed-out point when I heard this laugh. "And when, Bella, in the past two weeks has it not been goddamn awkward between us? It's not just in the spoken words either, it's in my damn mind. I keep seeing things…about you—about us—and it's fucking scaring me, Bella, the way I feel when I see these things." I knew things were bad because even though Edward swore lightly, he hardly ever pulled out the F-bomb unless he was totally stressed. "Because those goddamn feelings are the reason I smile for _no reason_. They're the reason I can never fucking concentrate on anything I need to concentrate on. I don't even know what the hell these feelings are. And to make things worse, I find myself venting to _Tanya_ about goddamn _feelings_ that _you_ give me. Men just don't talk about feelings, Bella."

He brought his hands to his face, moaning into his hands while I sat, stunned by his colorful language and stressed confession. Okay, I knew I was at a loss for words earlier, but this? Honestly, what did one say to this?

"God, I'm sorry, Bella," he sighed as he brought his hands back to the steering wheel a moment later. "If it's easier, you can forget everything I just said."

"I'm—" I cleared my throat quietly, "—I'm not sure I can, Edward."

His brow puckered, but he didn't look at me still. Apparently, the wet road and evergreens were more interesting than me in that moment because it was all he could look at. "And why is that?"

I took a deep breath before responding. "Because, I've been waiting to hear something like that come out of your mouth since the beginning of the summer."

He closed his eyes. "I don't know if I want to hear you feel that way, but while I'm throwing myself on a silver platter…I've been having sexual thoughts, Bella, and they haven't been about Tanya."

My cheeks started to flame as a deep red blush engulfed my entire neck and face, part of me certain that I'd only imagined those words coming from his mouth.

"But see, that's the thing. Even though I've been thinking some things and I feel like…I don't want anything to happen to…between us," he continued firmly with resolve. My heart wavered, feeling ripped but not torn. After all, he'd admitted to so much more than I could ever have hoped for, even if he couldn't make sense of it. And who's to say if it's not just some male hormone that is consuming him and filling him with that teenage lust that seems so contagious around high school?

"I don't want to lose our friendship, Bella, it means more to me than anything else, don't you know that?" he kept going, voice turning pleading. "I just don't want us to make a mistake, and until I know for certain what I'm feeling, I want us to be what we've always been. I'm sorry I kissed you. I'm sorry if I've confused you. But I'm sick of all this tension and stress. Would it be too uncaring if I asked if you were up for something to eat and we could just be us?"

I repressed a sigh, knowing this was probably for the best. I knew that what I felt wasn't a mistake—a curse, sometimes maybe—but I wanted to give Edward time to know what his heart was telling him. And as much as I knew it was going to kill me to see him everyday at school and not remember that perfect moment not so long ago, I could only hope it would be worth it in the end.

"No," I said in a small voice. "I feel the same way, and I'm starving."

He smiled hesitantly at me. "What are you in the mood for?"

And just like that, the stress was gone and Edward Cullen was just my best friend again, one who unknowingly possessed every piece of my body and every shred of my damaged heart.

*

The weeks sped by quickly after that. Kate never fully got used to the idea of carrying a bastard child, but she was caring of what was growing in her stomach. She claimed it wasn't it's fault, and she didn't really harbor anger at the rapist—who had disappeared but hadn't been caught—only a fear that he would come back. I'd slept over with her a couple times as she confided things to me and in the middle of the night she would wake up screaming, effectively waking me up too. When Carmen and Eleazar came to see what the problem was, I covered for Kate, and now they believe that I've been severely traumatized, as Kate makes sure she muffles her shrieks now.

She was seeing a therapist regularly, once every week when Carmen thought she was at my house and Charlie thought I was at hers. It worked out perfectly, seeing as how the parents weren't close friends or anything. She cried on my shoulder a lot more than I knew she used to, because she could never be the old Kate Denali again. She wasn't sure what to do right now with the child, but I had a growing intuition that told me she'd end up keeping it. I respected and was in awe of that fact, because I'm not so sure I could wake up everyday and look at a child, or feel it in my stomach, and not remember how it came to be. Actually, I wasn't 'not so sure'; I _couldn't_ do it—I knew damn well that the only kids I could wake up to seeing everyday were ones that had my eyes and Edward's hair.

Edward Cullen. We were still best friends, amazingly enough. Even after that kiss we shared—the one that made me know I was hooked for life—he'd taken me to a restaurant in Port Angeles and though the dinner was tense and quiet, the ride back to Forks in the dark was much more easy going. We'd joked and laughed, and though I was still hurting from, well, everything, I'd never felt a hope as serious and uplifting as I did now. I knew now that he thought about me differently, saw me in a new light, as I've seen him since the beginning of last summer. He seemed more beautiful each time I looked at him, and more perfect in everything he did. I was probably just lovesick though; no one was perfect in everything.

Happily enough, his _thing_ (I don't even know what to call it; it wasn't a relationship, nor was it an affair) with Tanya seemed to cool off after our first date. I was immensely surprised when I saw she didn't care, and I was beginning to see the symptoms of puppy love every time Jake's name was brought up in a casual conversation. Her eyes would brighten and her lips would curve up, and she'd take sudden interest in whatever was being said. I only knew these things because I was watching her closely, afraid that she would start to try and get serious with Edward. But she never did. They still sometimes held hands or slung an arm around the other's neck, but it no longer looked like…like…like _something_. It was platonic. I knew what that felt like all too well.

Jake was fully healed and back in school three weeks after Edward and I had visited him that first time. I went to see him often, mostly with Edward, but sometimes with Kate, Alice, and Rosalie. Tanya, I knew, had checked in on him occasionally (*cough* everyday *cough*) to give him his homework that she volunteered to collect for him and she would stay for hours, sometimes for dinner with Billy as she told him what was going on at school and things like that. How'd I know all of this? Jake was horrible at keeping anything to himself that exploded vividly in him. Tanya's concern and attention were almost too much for the poor boy and I had to tell him to calm down frequently, fearing a stroke or heart attack from too much excitement.

When he'd come back to school, our dating scheme sort of flopped, especially after I told him what happened between Edward and me on our date. He was the only one I told. Alice nor Kate nor Rosalie had absolutely no idea that I'd kissed him. I loved the three dearly, but it was so personal and Edward deserved much more than giggling and "give me details!" He was special, and I was going to protect him from scrutiny, especially from our circle of friends.

I felt bad because I'd never gotten in to see Gran since that dinner with the Denalis. I missed her horribly and only talked to her on the phone twice since then. She would always end the calls by saying how I should come visit her and I would agree heartily, but then I'd get a huge assignment in English, or I'd have to study for a test in Biology, or Kate needed help with something, or Alice dragged me out shopping, or Rosalie insisted on giving me a haircut (couple inches; not too much), or…well, you get the idea.

Esme and Carlisle had Edward call me up and make a date for a family dinner with Gran and Charlie at the beginning of December. Charlie was part of the police unit searching for the scum bag that victimized Kate. Emmett was starting wrestling and Jasper was getting into basketball. I guess Renee and Phil were having the time of their lives going places like New Orleans and Houston…despite all the tangles and spills in my life, things were starting to look up. I could be happier, honestly, between the stress of giving Edward time and Kate being preggo, I was in a tight situation. But I would survive. We all would, though we may be broken and bleeding. I didn't know how it would all work out, but somehow, it had to.

*

I groaned as my alarm clock went off, flinging my arm out to try and shut the damn thing off but I punched my headboard rather hard and ended up cursing. Why the hell did I even use it? I only hated it, and it only mocked me when I hurt myself trying turn it off, which happened four out of the five mornings a week I set it.

The dull throbbing pain in my hand helped to wake me up a little and I opened my eyes, groaning and wishing I was still asleep when I saw the blanket of white coating my roof outside my window. I'd known there was a chance of snow—everyone in school had been talking about it (can you believe that? It's just snow)—but I'd never expected to see the four inches that were currently there and still coming down. But with a sigh, I rolled lazily out of bed and padded to the closet to pick out clothes for the day—Friday.

My eyes skimmed over my room slowly as I changed and landed on my wall calendar. I exhaled softly in surprise when I actually realized the date. It was already December 3. How crazy was that? My dinner at the Cullens with Gran and Charlie—and Edward—was already tomorrow night. How could that be possible, for so many days and weeks and months to pass by that it was already freaking December?

I shook my head and finished buttoning up my trusty blue jeans, yanking off my pajama shirt and pulling on a long-sleeved brown turtle neck that fitted my form nicely. I brushed my hair quickly, scrubbed my teeth hard and fast, then stumbled downstairs for a bowl of cereal. I knew Charlie was gone when I passed the window on my way to the kitchen and I couldn't help the smile that stretched across my face when I saw the Volvo.

"Good morning, Bella," Edward greeted me happily as I walked into the kitchen. He stood from his spot at the table and wandered over to give me a kiss on the cheek. In that instant, it felt so right, the two of us in a little house together, greeting each other sweetly whenever possible…but I cut myself off before I could get too involved. I didn't want hope to fester too badly in my poorly bandaged heart, as an infection would follow that could threaten me emotionally and physically. I relished taking chances every now and then, but this was one risk I wasn't so adamant on carrying out.

"Morning, Edward," I replied softly, my face tingling from his quick contact.

"I missed you, so I thought I'd join you for breakfast," he said brightly.

I sat back on my heel and raised an eyebrow at him. "You don't have anymore Cocoa Puffs, do you?"

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck while smiling sheepishly. "Carlisle beat me to the last of it this morning."

I laughed and wandered over to the pantry, pulling open the doors and grabbing the box of Cocoa Puffs that I owned. Edward's eyes seemed glued to the stupid box as I dumped it's contents into two glass bowls and I wondered acidly why he paid more attention to a brand of cereal than he did to me. And then I felt bad because it wasn't even true. And then I felt retarded because I was freaking jealous of Cocoa Puffs. I needed help.

Edward got the milk out of the fridge and poured some into each bowl before hastily grabbing out two spoons, chucking one towards my breakfast, and shoveling his first bite into his mouth. He moaned and sat down at the table.

I giggled as I put the milk and cereal box away. "Do you want me to give you two some privacy?"

"Nah," he replied with a slight chuckle and a full mouth. "Join the party."

We ate in silence for a time, but it was comfortable. When I was just about to tip the last of the now chocolate milk back towards my mouth, the front door banged open. I jumped, effectively spilling milk all down the front of my shirt and crotch, and Edward accidentally knocked his empty bowl off the table. Since it was glass, it shattered against the aged linoleum.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Bella," Edward mumbled, getting off the chair and grabbing a dishtowel to soak up what little milk remnants had spilled.

"Hey, home skillets B and E," Emmett shouted from the entry way before lumbering into the kitchen. I looked at him in confusion—I'd been sure it was Alice or Rosalie—and Emmett hadn't really ever been to my house before. Not that I could recall off the top of my head anyways. "What's up, dawgs?"

"Emmett," Edward said exasperatedly, "what are you doing here?" He took the dishrag and tossed it into the laundry room before grabbing the broom and dustpan from under the staircase.

"Alice told me to swing by on my way to Rosalie's to tell ya we're skippin' today; all of us." He looked at me pointed you. "Even you Bella."

"Who's all of us?" I asked, wondering what Alice was planning.

"The usual gang. Edward, Bella, Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Jake."

I rolled my eyes at the way he'd just listed everyone—even himself in third person. "What are we doing?"

"This isn't an interrogation, Bella," Emmett reminded me dutifully. "You don't have a choice. Alice wants all of us to go shopping for winter formal."

Edward paused while sweeping, his face puckering up before he laughed. "You're going to let Alice take _you_ shopping, Em?" He laughed harder.

Emmett glared at him. "Laugh all you want, asshole, Alice is taking you shopping too."

"Over my dead body. Besides, I already have a suit," Edward insisted as he started to sweep again, still smiling from his laughter.

Emmett looked upset. "Damn you."

Both Edward and I laughed. "It won't be so bad," I told him. "Just call us when you get back so we know you're still alive."

Edward laughed again while Emmett looked at me, horrified. "That bad, huh?"

"And your girlfriend can be worse."

He cringed, then spoke to me. "But you're still coming, Bella, right?"

I shook my head. "Gran got me a dress already," I said, recalling the gorgeous wedding gown that she'd shown me a couple months ago. I hadn't wanted to wear it at the time as it had seemed much to expensive and grand, but I'd wear that over shopping with Alice any day.

"_Damn_ you."

Edward and I laughed again. "Just keep smiling," he advised, "and it'll be over quickly."

Emmett scowled at him and turned on his heel to leave without saying goodbye. Really, I couldn't resist.

"Enjoy your day in hell, Em!" I called out just before the door slammed shut.

Edward turned to me chuckling as he dumped the glass from the dustpan into the garbage can and put the broom back where he found it. "Nice touch."

I shrugged as I grinned. "Thought I'd warn him."

He moved a little closer to me. "That was very generous of you."

I steadied my breathing as his proximity had sent it spiraling before I managed to smile back at him. "Thank you."

He looked at me intensely for a moment before smiling. "Anytime. Hey, what do you say to ditching today since the others will be gone?"

"I'm up for it, I guess. What will we be doing?" I replied, thrilled at the thought of being alone with him for a day.

His eyes sparkled. "We will be going to visit Gran."

* * *

**Taylor: **_Usually, I'm not this mean, but I'm going to be honest when I say blame Nicole for the long wait. Lol. She seriously had it for like a month, but it wasn't her fault she couldn't write because she had a major brain block and was extremely busy. We're BOTH very sorry for the long wait, and I hope you don't hate us for this chapter. I loved writing it and I love the Edward's POV. Haha. I love Edward. So, __**REVIEW**__ for us, darlings. We love you for it._

**Nicole:** _OMFG! Yes, blame me. It really was all my fault. I had NO inspiration and I couldn't think of a damn thing to get my brain working and I was über busy with stuff for my school's spring musical…I will beg and grovel for forgiveness as much as you guys want!! I promise I'll get the next chapter out much quicker!!! I'm so sorry! But I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. _=]


	14. Let It Snow

Chapter 14:

Let it Snow

I must've looked foolish—worse than a five year old, I bet. But I couldn't help it. I was excited! I hadn't seen Gran in what felt like _forever_. Before this year started, I used to always make time for her. Even if I had a huge paper due the next morning, even if I had to study for a test/exam, even if Alice and Rosalie forced me into shopping…I always made time for Gran in my schedule.

Then, suddenly, this year happened and I found myself focusing more on my petty things and I forgot all about Gran. Well, that's a lie. I didn't _forget _about her—you just don't forget about someone like Gran. But I didn't spend as much time with her as I used to. I was the worst granddaughter in the world.

I was out of the car before Edward fully managed to bring the Volvo to a stop in her driveway. Like an excited five year old, I ran up to the door and knocked (_banged _is more like it) on the door and ringing the doorbell a couple of times. I was bouncing with excitement on the porch as I eagerly waited for Gran to open the door.

"Relax, Bella," Edward chuckled as he came to stand up beside me. "It's not like you haven't seen Gran before."

But he had no idea! I hadn't seen her in _forever_—or, that's what it felt like to me. I missed her. She was the one who kept me sane—besides him, of course. She was the one who reassured me that things would work out fine. I missed everything about her; the way she dressed, the way she smelled…I think I was almost starting to forget what she looked like!

AH! No! Okay, think, Bella. Charlie said that I look a lot like Gran when she was my age. So, think of yourself as…fifty years older…wow. Okay, no. That's not how Gran looks. Gran looks like—

"Bella, Edward! What a lovely surprise! Shouldn't you two be at school, though?"

"Gran!" I cried, throwing my arms around her. She looked like Gran! She still had the same dark hair with streaks of silver running through it and the same brown eyes I had. She looked fresh and young and more un-grandma-like than ever. But still, she was Gran—_my _Gran.

She laughed, patting my back as she hugged me. "Hello, Bella! I missed you too," she said before pulling away so she could hug Edward. "I haven't seen you in a while, Edward." She said, hugging him.

"It's good to see you, Gran," he replied with a wide smile. She pulled away and giggled at him. I would have been embarrassed if I wasn't used to it by now. "I would have come over sooner, if Bella would have let me." He shot me a pointed look, but I only rolled my eyes at him and punched his shoulder playfully.

"If I may remind you, Mr. Cullen, you've been preoccupied with a _girl_," I told him, acting childish still.

"Said girl is nothing more than a friend, Miss Swan," he replied.

Gran started full-blown laughter and I blushed, suddenly praying to God that she wouldn't say anything about my immovable infatuation with him.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked her, his lips turning up.

She chortled and waved him off. "Nothing. Inside joke, dear. Why don't you two come in before Charlie sees you skipping? You know he's out patrolling this time of day. Let's get out of the rain," she said.

I nodded, grinning widely as I followed her inside, Edward following behind me.

We followed Gran into the living room, she excused herself, going to get a fresh batch of cookies she'd apparently started making. Leave it to Gran to get up early in the morning and start baking cookies.

"Look at this," Edward chuckled, walking up to the mantle over the fireplace. "I can't believe she kept all of these," he said, picking up a picture of the two of us on Halloween when we were kids. I stepped up beside him, grinning as I stared down at the familiar picture of me dressed as an angel and Edward dressed as a vampire—Count Dracula to be exact.

"Gosh, look at us!" I said, taking the picture out of his hand and staring at it. "I think we still have the costume upstairs in a box in the attic back at Charlie's." I said.

I was pretty cute for a seven year old, I'll admit. My hair was long, reaching down to the middle of my back—it _was _all the way down to the back of my knees, but I made Renee take me to a salon in town to get it cut back in July; it had gone from shoulder-length to middle of my back in such a short while. My skin was flawless, with rosy pink cheeks, and my smile was always a cute little grin.

Even at seven, Edward was handsome. For the occasion, though, he'd slicked his normally disarrayed bronze hair back with gel. His face had been painted white, his lips red with some "blood" dribbling down the side and a pair of fake fangs glued to his seven year old canine teeth.

"That costume wasn't exactly comfortable after an hour," he said, chuckling as he stared at the picture from over my shoulder.

"I remember," I said with a small smile. "You were whining about how hot it was," I said, turning around to stare up at him.

Edward looked clearly affronted. "I was _not_ whining—I was merely stating that I wanted to go home early so I could put on something not so uncomfortable."

"You were whining," I said, poking him in the chest.

"Was not!"

"Was too!" I laughed, reaching around him to set the picture back on the mantle.

"Children, please!" Gran said, coming out from the kitchen with a tray of freshly baked cookies, a smile on her face. "Let's not fight now—it's too early." She said, setting the tray down on the coffee table.

I rolled my eyes, walking towards the couch and grabbing a cookie as I sat down. I tried not to show how happy it made me when Edward sat down beside me. "So, Gran, what have you been up to lately?"

I looked out the window with a small smile on my face as Edward drove us through the Quileute reservation before we headed to Seattle to spend the rest of our day doing whatever. Despite the cloudy gray skies hanging overhead, the water looked calm and peaceful. I was almost tempted to go swimming.

We had left Gran's house an hour and a half ago and had done nothing but drive around Forks before the two of us decided that we should go to Seattle. We had no doubt that our friends were still there, but that didn't matter. Edward and I already had our formal clothes all picked out.

"How do you think everyone's handling the shopping trip?" Edward asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I shrugged, but smirked. "By now, Emmett's probably groveling and whining like a five year old trying to convince Alice and Rosalie that they should be getting home. Jake is probably passed out on a bench somewhere and Jasper is probably still silently suffering as he follows Alice around. Is it that bad that I know our friends so well?" I asked, turning to him with a smile on my face.

Edward chuckled. "But it's funny," he said.

My phone went off in my pocket.

"Hold on a sec," I told him, fishing it out of my jacket. It was a text message—from Kate.

_OMG! Can you talk on the phone right now? I have GOT to tell you something!_

I raised an eyebrow at the screen before typing in a quick replying and sending it off to Kate. Within the next two minutes, my phone started ringing.

"Hey, Kate. What's up?"

"OHMIGOD!" she squealed loudly into the phone. I had to pull it away from my ear so I wouldn't go deaf. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Bella, you won't believe what happened today!" she said.

"Easy, tiger," I said, laughing. "Take a deep breath and calm yourself—and then tell me everything. You're okay, right?"

She laughed. "Oh, silly Bella, I'm more than okay. I feel like I'm floating on cloud nine." She said, sighing. "You know how I had an appointment at the clinic today to see how the baby's doing?"

"Yes."

"I had to park, like, three blocks away because there was something going on at the place across the street. Anyway, I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and I ran right into this smokin' hot piece of eye candy—God, he was _gorgeous_!" she sighed wistfully. "He was so nice, asking me if I was okay when I was the one who ran into him. He had the most beautiful smile! Damn, I wanted to kiss him.

"We talked for a little bit. He's from somewhere up north, and he's living in Forks—just two blocks away from me! _And_, he's going to our school!" she squealed again, I had to hold the phone away from my ear. "Oh, God, Bella," she sighed. "I think I got hit by cupid's arrow today. I got hit _bad_."

I chuckled. "Did you get his number?"

"YES!" she exclaimed, a little louder than I would've liked. "He said that he would see me in school next Monday—and that he hoped I would be there to show him around!" suddenly, there was silence. Kate didn't say anything for a moment, and I could practically feel her distress radiating through the phone. "What will he say when he finds out that I'm pregnant?"

"Well, I'm not sure." I admitted stupidly. "I mean, I'll give you the usual bull—if he really likes you, that won't matter to him," I said, looking over at Edward from the corner of my eye, hoping he didn't hear what Kate just said. "But honestly? I'm not sure. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens…" I bit my bottom lip.

She sighed. "That's what I was afraid of."

"I'm sorry, Kate."

"Yeah, me too…" she said sadly. "Bye, Bella. Thanks for listening."

"Anytime, Kate," I said. "See you later," I said before closing my phone.

"How's Kate?" Edward asked after a moment, his eyes cutting at me before glancing back out at the road.

"Apparently, she had something to do other than school today too," I told him, skirting around the major details. "Met some new kid that's gonna start coming to the school."

"She seems so sad," he mused. I looked over at him and couldn't look away as he continued to stare at the road, the snow still coming down softly against the windshield. How could he be so perfect? He even recognized when another girl he didn't know very well was hurting. He was just so observant! Was I transparent to him? Could his emerald eyes see how hard I'd fallen for him…how hard I was still falling for him? God, I wanted him so much. Was he still thinking, considering what he was feeling? Why wasn't he done thinking yet? It was December for crying out loud! I've been waiting for almost three months! I'd wait forever for him but…but I _wanted_ him. NOW.

Did he not want _me_? Was that why he was reluctant to confront me again?

"She's…" I trailed off, wishing more than anything I could just tell Edward. I hated keeping anything from him. Instead of talking about Kate, though, my inner thoughts rolled off my tongue. "Have you had enough time to think?"

"What?" he asked, looking over at me again with a bewildered expression.

I blushed and turned my face away automatically. "Gah, I mean, um…shit! I…I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to…screw it, yes I did! I meant what I said, Edward," I told him, taking a deep breath. "I don't mean to push you, but…I need to know."

He was quiet for a few minutes before speaking and I felt embarrassed the whole time, my stomach churning with dread. And when he finally spoke, my body sighed with relief and flinched at the same time.

"Bella…"

"It's okay, whatever it is," I told him hastily. "I mean, it's fine. I-I'll respect y-your decision." _I'll respect it, but it sure as hell won't be fine._

"I've made my decision," he said firmly, but his face was kind of red. "I just…I want you to know that I thought for a long time. Bella, I thought about it every minute of everyday. And…" my heart leaped when his hand reached out to grab mine, which was resting on my leg. "…and I considered all the alternatives. Bella, if we weren't to…I was going to…." He stopped and steadied himself. "How do you feel about me?"

I froze. What the hell kind of question was that? "What?"

"How do you feel about me, Bella? The truth."

His hand was still wrapped around mine and I could feel his eyes darting at my shocked face every few seconds as the silence enveloped us.

I swallowed thickly. "How detailed?"

"Everything."

Why was he doing this to me? And how was I supposed to tell him I'd fallen in love? Could I lie? No. He would be able to see right through my lies. I'd have to be careful with the way I worded it. I took a deep breath and covered his hand around mine hesitantly with my other hand.

"Edward, if you walked out of my life, I would fall to pieces."

"Is that all, Bella?" he pressed, looking over at me with more intensity, starting to look upset. It pissed me off.

"_All_? Do you know how hard that is to admit to you? What, it's not enough to admit I can't live without you, now you want me to say that I love you? Is that want you want me to say?"

"Not unless you mean it!" he snapped back, his hand tightening around mine and the steering wheel.

"I mean every damn thing I say to you! But why would I say that if I wasn't sure how you felt about me? I mean, God, Edward…you kissed me then told me you needed some time to think if you wanted to be with me. I'm sick of waiting!"

"So you were sure about me?" he demanded. "You were sure that when I kissed you, you wanted me right then, no questions asked?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed angrily. "Yes! I've been waiting for you, Edward. I've _always_ been waiting for you!"

He was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke, his voice was just as soft. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"So you…the second thing you said…do you really?"

I paused, unsure what he was talking about. I'd said a lot of things. "Do I really what?"

"Love me?"

I froze and pulled both of my hands away from him. He sighed and pulled away as well, gripping the wheel tightly. He wasn't being fair! He wanted me to admit how I felt, but he wasn't saying a damn thing!

"Give me some time to think about it," I told him bitterly, mocking his own words and he sighed loudly. "Look!" I snapped. "Why don't you tell me how you feel about me, hm? Why the hell do_ I_ have to be put on the spot?"

He looked angry again. "What do you think I meant when I said I didn't want to ruin us, Bella? If I didn't give a damn, I wouldn't have asked for time! I was making sure about you!"

"What?" I gasped, my body freezing yet again. Would I ever not be surprised with his confessions?

He made a point not to look at me. "I wasn't giving me time, Bella. I was giving you time."

"Edward…" I said gently. "I didn't need time. I still don't."

"You're sure?"

I took a deep breath before nodding. "Yes. I'm sure about you. But…you never needed any time?" We'd wasted all this time? Was his sentence saying what the simple meaning meant or was he talking about some other aspect of us? I couldn't tell. I didn't want to be wrong. I wanted to believe he was telling me he never needed any time to think about whether he wanted to be with me in _that way_ or not.

He shook his head. "No. Never…when Alice called you that day while we were sitting in the grass…and you suggested we leave right before I almost…the only thing I could think was, _No!_" He sighed. "I wasn't honest with you in that car. I mean, I was close enough but…but I know what I want."

"Do you?" I questioned him, my stomach fluttering with hope and butterflies.

He nodded but didn't say anything else, and I didn't feel like prodding, not when I could tell by the set of his lips he was working out a way to say something in his head. It was like that the rest of the way to Seattle. Silent and tense. I wanted to say something else, but he looked so concentrated that I didn't want to disturb that. I tried to turn my thoughts to Kate or what my other friends were doing in Seattle right now, but I couldn't think about them too long. All thoughts, inevitably, led back to Edward.

Once in Seattle, Edward surprised me by not heading straight to the mall. Instead, he drove to Kubota Garden, which was actually surprisingly close to the outskirts of Seattle. I had no idea what he had in mind, but as he parked the car, I couldn't help but ask.

"What are we doing here?" I demanded, wincing because my voice was harsher than I intended it to be. His eyes flashed over to look at me but his expression remained neutral as he shut off the engine.

"We are going to take a walk," he said simply.

"In this weather?" I asked incredulously, looking out the windshield at the steady snow.

He rolled his eyes as he opened his door. "It's just snow, Bella. It won't kill you."

"I wouldn't be so sure," I muttered, getting out of the car.

He slammed his door as he stood up and glared at me. "God_damn_ it, Bella! For once in your life could you _please_ just not argue with me! I'm trying to do something right but you're making it so fucking hard! Just stop, okay?"

I stared at him, wide-eyed, stunned by his language. He never swore like that; not at me…not since that day in the car. I felt ashamed by my childish behavior but I couldn't do anything about it now, and saying sorry would only intensify my embarrassment. I stubbornly set my lips and turned away from him, facing the garden. I heard Edward sigh from behind me and his footsteps were muffled by the wet snow as he approached me, but I could feel when he was standing next to me, even if I looked the other way.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. His cold hand went to my wrist and his fingers massaged over my hand as he worked to pull them out of the fist they were in. I didn't fight him when he finally pried my fingers apart and entwined them with his because I didn't want to. I'd never held his hand this intimately—with our fingers linked—and the new edge on it sent sparks of fire straight into my nerve endings.

I looked over at him, surprised to see him so close. His eyes were bold and darker green than usual as he gazed at me, apologetic and….something else. I could feel his breath blow across my cheek, warming it, and he smelt like peppermint and sunshine. I could have spent forever in that moment.

I saw his eyes break contact with mine swiftly and they darted down to look at my lips, which were parted as I stared at him. He licked his lips and looked back up while I sat locked in a trance like prey in the hold of a snake. Was he going to kiss me again?

"Let's walk," he finally said, moving away. I felt my face fall, but I wasn't disappointed for too long when I realized that his grip on my hand had gotten a little tighter.

He led me away from the car and towards the front of the garden and I followed without resistance. His determined look was back and it was clear that he was here on a mission. I wondered, with a fluttering heart, what it could possibly have to do with me as he led me deeper into the garden away from the few people who were there at all.

For a while, we did nothing at all but walk. The snow continued to fall and I wondered if it would ever stop. Edward's hand never lessened it's pressure on mine and that was fine with me because I wouldn't have it any other way. Every now and then, his hand would flex and pull mine in closer and the fire would spark in my skin again. Finally, after about twenty minutes of walking, Edward pulled me over to a bench and brushed off all the snow. After it was clean, he sat and tugged me down next to him. What surprised me most was that he had me sitting so close…our legs touching from the hips down.

He brought my hand up, still entwined with his, before he brought the back of it against his lips. A kiss on the back of my hand would have been enough for me, but he held the back of my cold hand there against his wonderfully soft and warm lips. Everything in me tingled at his unusual touch.

"Bella," he spoke, his lips skimming my hand.

"Edward," I replied.

"I told you that I know what I want," he said firmly, his eyes fluttering to a close. He looked surreal in that moment, with the snowflakes in his bronze hair and caught in his long eyelashes. So beautiful, so painfully handsome. How had he chosen me as his friend in the first place when I obviously paled in comparison?

"Yes," I whispered, watching him, unable to take my eyes off of him.

"Do you have any idea at all of what I might want?" he asked me.

"N-no," I stuttered.

"No? Really? After everything I told you in the Volvo, you have no inkling of my desires? Not a bit?" he pressed harder, his voice losing its softer cadence in the wake of annoyance.

I blushed and wished that I could move farther away from him. God, never thought I'd ever want that.

"Take a guess, Bella," he insisted, opening his eyes and pulling my hand from his mouth.

"I don't know, Edward," I told him. I didn't want to guess the wrong thing and have him be disgusted with me. That would be embarrassing and how could I ever look at him again if I said the wrong thing? No, better to not say a word. He was probably setting up a word trap for me to fall into anyways.

He narrowed his eyes before releasing my hand. "Here; let me give you a hint." I felt as solid as marble when he put his arm around my shoulders and drew me in closer than I had ever been to him. His opposite arm came around and he brushed the snowflakes from my hair with his long, delicate fingers before he firmly took my chin and forced me to look up at him. "Guess now, Isabella."

"You want help with your English?" I squeaked, hoping he'd take it as the joke I'd meant it.

It worked, because his lips actually twitched. "Not quite."

"Was I close?" I asked, feeling more comfortable that he wasn't putting me on the spot.

He shook his head and pulled my shoulders against him even closer. My breathing hitched and I tore my chin out of his grasp to stare at the snow landing gently on my lap. I couldn't look at him; I was too terrified, too hopeful, and too cautious of what he was going to tell me.

"But I'll tell you," he said kindly. I melted when I felt his cheek press into the top of my head. "Your hair is wet," he stated.

I sighed exasperatedly and he chuckled.

"Alright, alright," he said before his tone went somber again. "This isn't easy for me to admit Bella…it's not that I don't like having to acknowledge it because I do. I love that I…that this is…" he sighed. "Bella. I'll tell you what I want. I want you to take you to the winter formal."

I was confused…but only slightly. "Edward, we always go to the winter formal together."

He sighed again, only more loudly this time. "But we go as friends. I don't want to just be friends with you anymore, Bella." I gasped as he pulled me into him with both arms, pressing me as tightly as he possibly could against his side while he turned his face into my hair and buried against it. "Go to the formal with me, Bella."

"Like a d-date?" I asked quietly.

He nodded against my head.

I smiled. "I will."

"You will?" he asked incredulously.

I slapped at one of his hands awkwardly, my heart soaring, my stomach kicking with butterflies, and my face hurting from smiling so damn much. "You heard me earlier, Edward! I never needed time to think about you. I knew…I always knew."

He pulled away and I was glad to see that he was smiling just as much as me. Geez. We looked like two nerds who found out they won tickets to the Star Wars convention with Harrison Ford.

But his face softened after a moment. "You look beautiful in the snow, Bella."

I blushed and tried to pull away to hide it. "Whatever."

His arms, however, only constricted around me. "Don't disregard yourself," he said gently. "Your name even means 'beautiful'. I…"

"You what?" I asked, my face flaming. God.

"I want to kiss you." Even he sounded alarmed.

"You _what_!" I repeated, only…well, surprised.

"Did I stutter?" he asked, his voice and eyes suddenly filled with resolve and…desire.

"N-no," I said, my tongue stumbling.

He laughed. "Close your eyes, Bella."

And because I trusted him, I closed my eyes.

His lips pressed gently against my closed eyelids and the unfamiliar touch made me shiver. Without pulling his lips away from my face, he skimmed down my cheekbone and jaw to the corner of my mouth. I held my breath, waiting for the bliss that could only be initiated by Edward, and I sighed when he finally moved his lips onto mine.

It started out gentle at first, but it quickly turned into so much more. His lips became fierce and wild, moving with mine in such hasty synchronization you'd think it was the last time we would ever see each other. My hands had started in my lap, but within five seconds, they were in his hair, grasping and pulling him closer to me while his hands cupped the back of my neck and pushed my back towards him.

He shifted his body so that his chest was facing mine and he pushed me up against him…yes, we ended up chest to chest.

Our lips melded together until I couldn't breathe. He broke our lips apart, but neither one of us moved as we panted against each other's mouths, his lips still touching mine. The funny thing was, was that I expected to feel different once I was with Edward. You know, the whole world-is-finally-set-right kind of thing but…I realized, sitting there that it was always kind of right. The pieces were falling together. Here they were now, fitted and perfect.

I'd always been with Edward. Everything had always been right.

"I think I like kissing you," he said breathlessly, leaning his forehead against mine as he hummed happily.

"Do I really make you that happy, Edward?" I asked him.

"You're the only one that can make me this happy," he assured me.

"We aren't gonna change…right?" I said, opening my eyes as he pulled his face away from mine finally.

He frowned. "Well, I hope to God that when you ask if we are going to change you don't mean that we'll stay on the same relationship level."

"No!" I exclaimed. "No! No, that's not what I meant at all…I mean…Edward, what if you break up with me?"

He gave me a funny look. "Are we even dating yet?"

I blushed. "Oh, God….awkward."

He laughed. "We'll see how the winter formal goes, hm?"

"Okay," I smiled.

"But I promise you…I would never hurt you that way, Bella. We're best friends; hurting you would be like killing a piece of myself. I couldn't do that to you or me."

"So things are going to change?"

He smirked. "I mean…we could always be friends with benefits, if that's what you want to call it. I'm not going to stop kissing you, Bella, not if I can help it."

"What if I don't want you to kiss me? What if I think it's weird?" I asked him…hypothetically, of course. I wanted to leap on him right now.

"It is weird," he pointed out, standing up. He reached his hand down to me and I took it. "But it's a wonderful kind of weird."

"Yeah?" I asked him.

"Yeah. And you? How do you feel about kissing me…for real, Bella."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling emboldened by his move to ask me out. God. I was going to the formal with him as my date. It was like a dream come true! "I feel that I don't really know. I feel that maybe we should go again…just so I can really figure it out."

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist. "So now you're going to make a move?"

"Why? I thought guys liked it when a girl took charge," I said, my face flushing with embarrassment.

He laughed louder and pulled me tighter. "Actually, yes. It's very sexy."

I giggled. "So you think I'm sexy, too?"

He rolled his eyes. "Just shut up and kiss me, Bella."

Because _I_ think it's hot when I guy takes charge, I did.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

**Taylor: **_Oh. My. Effing. God. I'msosososososorry, guys! It's been about two months or so since we've updated and we are SOOOOO FREAKING SORRY! I love this story, really I do, it's just…after finishing 13, I had no inspiration, so Nicole had to take over and she was brain dead and we just couldn't do it. But we finally got it finished and we are so so so so so so so so so so so sorry! We wish we could update faster for you! We will try, since it is summer! Thanks for sticking with us! REVIEW LOTS! It helps us stay on track (:_

**Nicole: **_Yeah, last author's note? I so lied, in case you couldn't tell. But, like Taylor said, it's summer and we'll get updates done faster…I hope. I'm looking for a job right now, and my mom is PMSing really bad a lot these days and then there are more play rehearsals to do…But it's summer. I'll be better this time. Please accept these virtual cookies and kisses from Edward. _:)


	15. Truth Be Told

Chapter 15:

Truth Be Told

I sighed as Edward pulled up in front of my house. Charlie wasn't home yet, but he would be soon enough. I had to get dinner ready, unless we wanted another mishap of two nights ago. I shuddered at the memory before looking up at Edward with a smile. He returned it, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "Thank you for taking me out, Edward. I had a lot of fun." I told him.

He smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, Bella," he said. "Sorry we couldn't catch up with the others," he said.

"It's okay." I said with a grin. We had spent _forever _in the park. For a while, we just walked and held hands and talked and laughed and kissed. It was a lot like our friendship—only, without the romantic intimacy and the kissing part. Then, when he pushed the two of us into the snow, I decided to get him back by smashing a pile of snow into his face. We lost track of time with our snowball fight and saw no real point of going to the mall if we weren't going to run into our friends there.

I looked at the clock on the dash and groaned. "I better go. Charlie will be home soon and I still have to make dinner." I said.

Edward nodded. "Yeah, I better get going too. I don't want Carlisle and Esme to get worried." He said, and I noted the sadness in his eyes as I turned away from him. I was just about to open the door when he stopped me, calling my name.

I turned around. "Yes, Edward?"

He leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine. The action surprised me, making the blush rise up to my cheeks as my eyes fluttered close and I sunk into the kiss. He pulled back before things could get too heated. "See you tomorrow, Bella."

"Hm…what's tomorrow?" I mumbled, dazed.

Edward chuckled. "The dinner, Bella," he said. "Did you forget about it?"

"The din—oh, shit." I said, my eyes widening when I realized what he was talking about. _Of course_. How could I be so stupid? The dinner with Gran, Charlie and the Cullens was tomorrow night. _Stupid, Bella! Stupid, stupid, stupid…_

"Bella?"

I could see Charlie's cruiser rounding the corner. "Ah! No, Charlie!" I cried, pulling away from him, my hands knotting in my hair. "I have to go, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow!" I said, leaning in to give him a quick peck. Unintentionally, my eyes fluttered closed and I pressed harder against his soft lips, wanting more. It was Edward who pulled away from me first, his eyebrows creased.

"Shit!" I cursed again. Damn him and his ability to make me forget where I was. "Bye, Edward!" I threw open the car door and left quickly before I ran across the street and into the house. Hastily, I kicked off my shoes and threw off my coat before running into the kitchen. Crap, crap, crap…

"Bella?" Charlie called, walking into the house moments later. "Bella, was that Edward I saw pulling away from the house out there?"

"What? Oh, yeah, Dad," I said quickly, sticking the pot of boiling water over the stove. _Please let him not have seen anything. Please, oh please! _I begged, keeping my back to Charlie as I worked around the kitchen. The last thing I want is to have Charlie have seen me kiss Edward and to have him give me some sort of talk.

The last time Charlie tried to talk to me about the birds and the bees, it had been so…_mortifying_. Charlie kept stuttering and blushing and he just couldn't seem to get the right words out. I couldn't even look at him for days after that. My father and talking (_especially _about boys and sex) did _not _go together.

"What was he doing here?" Charlie asked curiously, raising an eyebrow at me as he leaned against the kitchen doorway.

"Nothing," I said, hoping I sounded casual enough. "We went to school together and he brought me home so that we could do homework—but then we needed to get some things from the store for a, um…project." I hated lying to my dad, but, honestly? I didn't want to go through anymore mortification. Plus, I wasn't sure how he would handle it when he found out that Edward and I were…kind of dating. I had a feeling, though, that it involved Edward and him at the kitchen table, with Charlie's guns _very _close by…I shuddered at the thought.

"Huh," Charlie said. "Where's the stuff?"

I looked up at him, confused. "The stuff?" I repeated.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "For your project," he clarified.

"Wha—_oh_!" I gave a nervous laugh. "Um…Edward has them." I lied, turning back to the spaghetti.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"You're a really bad liar."

Crap.

I laughed. "What are you talking about, Dad? I'm not lying…" I stopped, and sighed, looking guiltily down at the spaghetti. "We played hooky today." I grumbled, before looking up at him with wide eyes. "But only because Alice made us go shopping for Winter Formal!" I blurted out quickly.

Charlie sighed, shaking his head. "I won't argue that I don't blame you—that Alice can be…pretty scary," he said, with a shudder of his own. I had almost forgotten that Charlie had tried to put his foot down when Alice first got her license and nearly got me into trouble with all the days I went missing. Charlie looked up at me then. "I thought Gran gave you a dress?"

"You know how Alice is. She just likes using me as a Barbie doll," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well, alright." He said, still looking unconvinced. I could practically feel the sweat forming on my forehead. "Just…don't let it happen again. We don't need another incident of last year." He said, looking at me pointedly.

"You have my word, Dad. Last time, I swear." I promised, crossing my fingers behind my back. The moment he was gone and I heard the TV turn on, I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding and turned back to the boiling water.

The phone rang and I snapped out the reverie I'd gone into staring at the water, springing towards the phone and hastily pushing it to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly, my heart still beating from the close call.

"I cannot believe Emmett let you worm your way out of shopping today! Oh, I am mad, trust me when I tell you that I am very, very mad. You know what happens when I get mad, Bella?"

"Hello, Alice," I said in a bored voice, picking up the package of noodles I'd haphazardly opened in my haste to appear normal.

"Don't you 'hello, Alice' me, missy, I am _very_ mad at you."

"Alice, I already had a dress, and Edward had a tux. And I didn't want to leave him by himself today; it would have been bad best friend behavior. So, we skipped together."

And just like that, Alice Brandon was no longer mad at me. Oh, I had no doubt she hadn't forgotten; no, she'd make me pay later. But something more interesting, apparently, had come up. As in, Edward and me.

"Ooh! Where did you go? What did you do? Did you go with anyone else? What did you say? What did he say? OH GOD! What did you _wear_?"

I poured the noodles into the water and began to stir them. "Are you done yet?"

She dragged in a breath. "Yeah. Wait, Bella! You have to tell me everything! Did anything, like, happen?"

I sighed happily. There was no way I could deny it. "Yeah."

She squealed. "Okay, start at the beginning. I want to know it all."

So I did. While I bustled around the kitchen making dinner, I told Alice about how we went to Gran's together and hung out with her. Then I told her about our drive to Seattle and managed to leave out the part about the kiss and the argument a couple months ago. I gushed relentlessly about the park and how he kissed me and held me and told me he wanted to take me to the winter formal as an official date.

When I finished, Alice wasn't saying anything, which I'm sure was an absolute first.

"Alice?" I said. Dinner was ready by this time and I'd just called Charlie in to get a plate. He saw me on the phone and nodded before taking his dinner and going out to eat it on the couch. I rolled my eyes as he left. That man was going to die on that couch.

"Yeah, I'm here, Bella. I'm just trying to process. So, was it like…a date?"

I thought for a moment, butterflies killing the inside of my stomach before I smiled hugely. "I _think _so."

"So, did he like, kiss you when he dropped you off?" she pressed for details and I sighed happily, giving them to her.

"Yeah…but then Charlie showed up and I had to make him leave. I can't be sure, but I think he might have seen me kiss Edward. He hasn't brought it up yet, though, and I'm sure as hell not saying anything about it." I knew that if he had, he might not say anything to me, but I knew he would at least give a talk to Edward. And poor, poor Edward…

"OMFG, Bella!" she cried out joyously. "I'm soooooooo happy for you! We are definitely having a longer talk on Monday at school. OH WAIT! Can I tell Rose?"

I sighed. "You might as well. She'll find out sooner or later and I don't want her getting on my back for not saying something to her right away."

"Yay! I love you, Bella. Have fun with your dinner tomorrow…with Edward and Charlie." She snickered.

My face paled slightly at the mention of it. "Dammit."

"Talk to you later!" She hung up, still giggling and I put the phone back in its cradle. I hastily got my dinner together and sat at the table alone, desperate to get away from Charlie so I could at least I was pretending to sleep. However, it was shameful of me to think I could wiggle my way out of this situation. As I was tiptoeing up the stairs not-so-quietly, Charlie heard a squeak.

"Bella? Can I talk to you before you disappear for the night?"

I gulped and muttered "Oh, shit" in my head like a mantra. When I entered the living room and saw how he was carefully avoiding eye contact it confirmed it all; he'd seen me kissing Edward…which also meant he knew I'd lied to him.

My "Oh shit"s picked up into double time.

"What is it, Dad?" I asked uneasily, fidgeting nervously with my hands as I bit my lip.

"You know…how much I like Edward, Bella," he started uncomfortably, looking at everything but me. My hands felt like ice. Oh no. "He's a nice kid, from a good family…and you two have been friends for such a long time."

"Yeah…" I said slowly, feeling my face start to heat up from embarrassment. Oh God. He'd seen me kiss Edward. I should have been more private about it; should have seen this coming.

"I saw you…uh, earlier," he mumbled gruffly. "I didn't know about…you two being, uh…you know."

"What are you trying to say, Dad?" I asked, just wanting to get it over with.

He didn't meet my eye, but he straightened his shoulders and looked over my head. And I thought I had speech problems. "Are you two being…safe?"

"Oh, God!" I exclaimed, bringing my hands up to hide my face.

"I trust you, Bells," he said quickly, sounding just as mortified as I was, "and I trust Edward, too. But you know what an unwanted pregnancy can do to some people, kiddo, and I can't see you taking on that responsibility. It's not that you can't, its just that you're too young to start a family. So…I just wanted to make sure that you were using a…precautionary measure…to ensure that if you are…active…that you—"

"Oh, Jesus, Dad!" I said even louder, unable to reveal my face to him, as I'm pretty sure I died on the inside just then. Did God think it was funny to put me through the tortures of having a vocally inept father…and did Charlie seriously refer to me and Edward being…active? "I'm only seventeen, Dad, and Edward and I only started dating today. We're not…I mean, you know, we're not…doing it."

Good God, I was no better than my father.

He sounded relieved. "You're not?"

I sighed into my hands. "No. Can I go away now?" _Please._

He chuckled nervously. "Uh, sure, Bells. That's all I wanted to know."

"Okay" seemed like a pretty lame reply, considering that I didn't think it was okay that Charlie was trying to pry into my nonexistent sex life, but I didn't know what else to say. When I left the room, my hands stayed glued to my face until I reached my room.

I tried to put Charlie's awkward conversation out of my head as I readied myself for bed, because I was tired, but as I laid awake under the covers, my eyes wouldn't close. Despite being embarrassed to another galaxy, I was inexplicably happy. There was still that lingering question of Kate's future, but she would make it through, I knew, because she was a tough, badass chick.

I was up late enough to hear Charlie clamor up the stairs and drag his heavy feet into his bedroom. Moments later, all the lights were off in the house, and his snore was faintly drifting through the flimsy walls.

When I heard the pebbles hitting my window, I merely smiled and shot straight out of bed, almost as if I had expected this to happen. I flung myself at the glass pane and threw it open, unable to stop from grinning when I saw Edward perched in the tree, his face lit up like the Fourth of July just from seeing me.

"I think I knew you would come," I told him matter-of-factly while I watched him jump from the branch to the safe, small slope of the roof. His feet slid on the snow, but his hands were latched so completely onto my window sill that I didn't have time to panic.

"So now I'm predictable?" he questioned coyly, grinning as he leaned on the window pane, his nose very close to mine. Snow dusted his hair, and I didn't think I ever saw him looking so wonderful.

"A little bit," I replied.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"I don't know if that's smart," I teased. "I mean, I don't want to give you any ideas about what kind of girl I am, inviting you into my bedroom without a second thought, at this time of night."

He chuckled softly. "I know what kind of girl you are, Bella."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" I asked.

He smiled warmly. "My best friend. My other half. My confidante. My soul-mate."

My heart sped up, but I stepped back from the window, because his words suddenly made me feel like _I wasn't the only one_ who felt so irreversible. "If Charlie bursts in here, guns a'blazin, I'm blaming you."

He threw a leg over the window sill and climbed into my room, tracking snow. I really couldn't care less "I'm offended. You wouldn't jump in front of a speeding bullet to save my life?"

"Shhh," I scolded, but I smiled as I bit my lip and looked up at him in the darkness. It was dark, and the glow from my digital clock only somewhat illuminated his face. He looked very happy. "Yes," I whispered. "You know I would." And if he didn't, he should have known.

"I know."

"You're my best friend, too, Edward."

"I know."

"Good."

"But, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"That's not all I am…right?"

I blushed, but I was glad he couldn't see it in the dark. "No, that's not all you are. You're…much more."

"How much?"

"You know what you mean to me," I said in a whisper, my cheeks blushing brightly. "You're…_everything_."

"Yeah?" he asked, smiling as I unfroze myself and moved towards the window to close it. For God's sake, it was December and the window was wide open. Edward shrugged out of the jacket he was wearing while I walked to the other side of the room and turned my bedside lamp on it's low setting. The dim glow left some corners of the room dark, but I could see Edward alright and that suited me just fine.

"Yeah," I confirmed, sitting on my bed as he dropped his jacket on my desk chair. He looked over at me, my back pressed against the wall, knees up to my chest, hair in my face…and grinned wickedly.

"I suppose that now the bed is forbidden territory?" he said, kicking off his shoes.

"Not necessarily," I replied, patting the space next to me.

He took my invitation without hesitation and sat down, scooting so that his back was against the wall too. My body warmed when his shoulder pressed against mine and he looked at me sideways, his face almost shy.

"Is this okay?" he whispered.

I nodded. "Yes."

"I knew that I was going to see you tomorrow night," he told me sincerely, "but it wasn't soon enough, you know. I would have come in the front door, but Charlie—"

"Knows," I sighed, looking at him wistfully. "He knows. He saw you and me…uh…" I blushed again because it was all so new. Edward had kissed me, and we both enjoyed it. A lot. "Saw us…our faces…well. You know."

"He saw us." Edward tapped his chin before grinning. "Great! It shouldn't be hard now."

"Do I even need to point out how much of an innuendo that is?"

"Grow up, Bella."

I laughed quietly. "Okay, but I'm not quite sure what you mean."

He rolled his eyes. "Grow up?"

"No. About everything not being…hard." I smothered a giggle against my fist and stared at my knees. He made me feel light and effortless, and I couldn't stop obsessing over how much I loved him for it. Things were finally coming together. Winter Formal was next weekend, and Edward would be my date. Kate's pregnancy was without complications and she was working up the guts to tell her family. Like I promised her so long ago, we had survived, and though she still had a baby to deliver in another six months or so, everything could only go up from here.

"Well, Carlisle and Esme already know about you and me, too," he said. "So all that's left is Alice, Jas—"

"Alice knows, too," I admitted, blushing again as I looked at him.

He stared at me for a moment before chuckling. "Well, jeez, I guess that takes care of the whole world, doesn't it?"

"Why? You afraid that people will think I'm out of your league?" I joked as I turned towards him and punched him lightly in the shoulder. We both knew that with Alice's fangs in the little tidbit about our outing, all of Forks would soon know that Edward Cullen and Bella Swan were attempting to pursue a relationship now. A romantic relationship.

He smiled and caught my wrist in his hand. His fingers overlapped as he held it, but I didn't make a move to pull away because I wanted him to pull me closer. I just wanted to see if he would be the one to do it. I had no problem of making any declarations, but I'd done so much of that today, I wanted him to make a bold move.

"Of course not, Bella. But I am afraid that people will get the wrong impression of you," he told me, his smile disappearing as his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

My smile dropped too. "What do you mean?"

"You remember that photo I got from Emmett in a text message a couple months ago? Of you buying pregnancy tests?" he asked me as his mouth drew into a frown. My face began to burn as I felt my stomach churn uneasily. Just when I was sure people had forgotten about that…any spark between me and Edward would just be like flame to a paper. I was going to be the highlight of the Forks gossip chain for weeks.

"Aw, hell," I muttered, leaning forward to rest my forehead on his chest.

"Yeah. I know," he sighed, his arms wrapping around me naturally. "It sucks. What are we gonna do?"

"We?"

"Silly Bella, you didn't think I'd leave you in this crap all by yourself, did you? Of course, _we_."

I smiled. "Edward…"

Just then, my phone rang again. I sighed heavily as I extracted myself from Edward's arms and reached for it because I was just like Miss Popular today or something.

"Hello?" I answered, Edward's emerald gaze intent on me.

"Bella! Bella, oh God, Bella," Kate sobbed into the other end of the line. My heart rate spiked and I gripped the phone tighter in my hands, a million different scenarios running like lightning through my head.

"Oh, God, Kate, what's wrong?" I asked in a panic.

"Everyone…they're gone for the night. Tanya—she's with Jake; Irina is at some club in Port Angeles, and Eleazar and Carmen left for their Seattle open house a couple hours ago," she cried into the phone. "I told them I was fine; I thought I was going to be, Bella, but—ohh, God, there it is again! Bella, please. I'm so scared!"

"Kate," I said, trying to keep calm. Edward was tense next to me, no longer smiling, but looking serious and ready for action. "I need you to calm down and tell me what's going on."

"He's at the door, Bella," she whimpered into the phone.

"_He_ is?" I asked, ice freezing my veins. So the bastard was going to rape her, then come back for more? What the hell? "How do you know?"

"I didn't see his face that night he…But I just know it's him."

Goddamn it.

"Stay there, Kate. Hide. Don't go near any of the windows. Edward and I are on our way," I told her firmly, though I was scared crapless for her. What if he broke in? What if he found her?

"Hurry," she whispered before the phone line went dead.

I jumped off the bed and threw Edward's jacket at him. I didn't care what Charlie would say or do if he woke up and found me missing; Kate was in dire trouble and I was her best friend. I sure as hell was going to do everything in my power to protect her and her baby.

"Kate's house?" Edward asked without demanding an explanation as he slid his arms back into his jacket. That was another thing I loved about him; he accepted what I had to say whole-heartedly without doubting me. For instance, frantically speeding to the Denali's house in the middle of the night without any illumination on the subject. God, he was perfect.

"Yes," I breathed, my chest heaving with panic. I was trying my best to stay calm, but it was hard. I can't believe the scumbag found her. How the hell did he find her?

I didn't wait for Edward to put his shoes on as I flew out the door and down my staircase as quietly as possible, the last damn step squeaking under my weight. Hastily, I shoved my jacket on and slipped into my snow boots as Edward appeared at my side, his car keys already in hand.

"We have to hurry," I told Edward as I opened the door and ushered him out.

"I got that," he replied while I closed it and he ran to his car, starting it.

As soon as I was in the passenger seat, he backed down the driveway with his quiet car in reverse before putting the gear in driving and gunning the engine. It snarled like a whisper as it launched forward.

"Bella, I trust you," he said as he took a turn sharply, watching for police cars on duty, "but I sure as hell would like some answers."

Tears began to fall down my cheeks. I couldn't imagine what Kate must be feeling right now, and I was freaked out as it was. That freak – that bastard. Charlie had told me the other night that there was a break in at City Hall. The records had been scrounged through; files suspected to be missing. Had it been Kate's stalker – the man who impregnated her – that broke in? Was he looking for her?

"I know, I'm sorry," I said in a thick voice, "but I can't tell you anything yet."

He sighed and took another sharp turn. "Can you at least tell me why we have to be over there right now?"

I swallowed the emotion stuck in my throat. "She's all by herself and there's…God, there's someone outside the house."

He took the last turn to the Denali house. "Like, a stalker?"

I nodded frantically.

"Shouldn't we call the police or something?" he asked, sounding alarmed.

I was surprised by his question.I was also surprised that I hadn't thought about it first, especially growing up as the daughter of the chief of police. But there was something in the back of my mind that police involvement would only complicate things. "It'll be too late by the time they get there," I said reasonably. "I need to make sure that Kate's safe. Hurry, Edward—I need to see that Kate's alright!" I said, near hysterics.

Edward said nothing. He seemed to understand that now was not a good time to be messing around and taking precautions. He pressed down on the gas, speeding down the road while I gripped tightly onto the leather upholstery of the passenger's seat, all the while praying that Kate was safe inside her house.

It seemed like an eternity had passed by the time Edward had pulled up to the Denali's driveway. The headlights illuminated the front yard, and for the first time, I realized that it was raining out. Freezing rain. I searched the shadows closely, but I saw nothing. The windows were intact, not broken. The door hadn't been knocked off it's hinges. It helped to ease my mind a bit.

"Do you see anything?" I asked Edward.

"Nothing," he said quietly, his green eyes scrutinizing the front yard. "Come on," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and pushing open the door. I struggled with my seatbelt, cursing when I couldn't undo it the first time, but I hurried to throw it off and push open my door, slamming it behind me before running around to the front of the Volvo to meet Edward. Instantly, my hand reached out to grab his. "Stay close to me, Bella," he said quietly, pulling me close to his side.

I nodded before we hurried towards the front door. I rang the doorbell and banged on the door a couple times. "Kate!" I called, not caring if my voice woke the neighbors up. "Kate, it's Bella. Open the door! Kate!" I said, wrapping my hand over the door.

There was silence. For a moment, I was worried that we were too late and that the worst had happened. I was just about to try and kick the door down when something on the other end clicked. I could hear locks being undone and the door swung open. Kate flung herself into my arms, sobbing into my shoulder as she hugged me for comfort.

"Oh, my God! Oh, Bella—it was horrible! So horrible!" she sobbed.

I wrapped my arms around her. "It's okay, Kate. I'm here now," I said soothingly.

"Let's get inside," Edward said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, leading Kate back into the house. Edward shut the door behind us, locking it and turning on all the lights. I led the way into the living room, easing Kate down onto the sofa. I watched as Edward peered out the big window before pulling the blinds shut. "It's okay, Kate. No one's going to try and hurt you now," I promised, running my hands through her hair, trying to calm her down.

"I was so scared," she gasped. "I thought…I thought for sure that I was going to die this time," she said.

I sighed, pulling her back towards me. I stared at one spot on the carpet, my mind thinking through all the bad scenarios. What if Edward and I were just a fraction of a second too late? The bastard could have escaped and Kate would have been dead. Kate would have been raped again. I tried not to picture it, the images of Kate dead on the floor, blood everywhere. But it was too horrifying. She could have been dead because we were too slow. "You're alive now," I said, hugging her tighter. "You're safe."

Edward cleared his throat. "Er—does someone care to explain what's going on?"

Kate's sobs became louder and I glared at him.

"Be a little sensitive!" I snapped.

He scowled at me and held his hands up. "Jesus, Bella, I don't know what lines I'm crossing because I don't know what the hell is going on! I've brushed it off for as long as I could, but I'm involved now."

"He's right, Bella," Kate sniffled, squeezing me to her tightly. She had yet to look up at me, her head buried in the dip of my neck. "We have to…I can't…he's…" She became unintelligible again.

"Maybe I can help," Edward offered gently, moving towards us. I pulled Kate away from where his hand was going to rest on her shoulder, because memories of how his physical connection to her jolted my mind and made me aware how scarred she was. He looked up at me, his face offended for a slight second before he saw how desperate I was for him to understand.

"Edward, she's…" I whispered, my eyes wide, stinging, because I felt so scared for her.

He looked back down at the sobbing girl in my arms. "Kate, I'm not going to hurt you. You can trust me."

"B-B-Bella," she stuttered, clutching tighter still. "T-tell him wh-what happened t-to me."

I rubbed her back, my emotion getting caught in my throat again as I tried to soothe her. "Are you sure?"

"P-please," she whispered. "We c-can't do this on our own anym-more."

I met Edward's gaze, which was wary and fierce in it's determination. I could tell, looking at him, that he wasn't going to run away from anything that we would tell him. In my own eyes, I liked to think that it was because of the way our lives were so intimately connected, but I could be wrong. Edward had always been chivalrous and warm towards women.

"Edward, you know I would have told you sooner," I started, still hugging Kate. "But I couldn't. It's…it's scary, and it was always_ her_ secret, not mine."

He came to stand next to me, his eyes penetrating my pretenses and staring down whole-heartedly into the fear. Fear that I would become a victim; fear that _he_ would find Kate again; fear that her pregnancy would put her life at stake. Fear that Edward would realize I wasn't good enough for him; fear that college life would separate us inevitably and irreparably. He saw it all; I couldn't hide from him anymore.

"I'm here for you," he said softly. His eyes darted down to Kate's shaking shoulders and after a short pause, added, "Both of you."

I nodded and took a deep breath, pressing my cheek against Kate's hair. "Edward…Kate was…she was…The man that was outside? Yeah. He raped her."

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**Taylor: **_Edward knows! DUN DUN DUUUUUN! Sorry for the long wait. Simply put, me and Nicole suck. I don't know how many of you are still reading this story, but here ya go. Chapter 15. We are set on finishing it; just be patient. Life is hell. REVIEW! :)_

**Nicole: **_I really don't know what to say. This chapter was wayyy overdue. I can't believe it took Taylor and I _THIS_ long to get it done. FORGIVE US! But there really is no excuse for our lateness...well, except that our schedules have been really full. Well...maybe on Taylor's part. I'm just plain lazy. Heh...anyway, I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive us and we would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!_


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